tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13684790.post4156814616186677729..comments2023-11-05T05:28:34.444-07:00Comments on Voice of Reason: Please understand that I love my mom the mostNemesishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00110470182822628791noreply@blogger.comBlogger18125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13684790.post-55902070372515718182007-06-25T23:20:00.000-06:002007-06-25T23:20:00.000-06:00p.s. I graduated after getting married and before ...p.s. I graduated after getting married and before my husband did. Why? Because I was going to graduate and make something of myself with or without him. Why? Because I am Right Thinking.Carinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13859567470814286102noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13684790.post-88582582743750950852007-06-25T23:17:00.000-06:002007-06-25T23:17:00.000-06:00It's true: my life is sunshine and moonbeams. Som...It's true: my life is sunshine and moonbeams. Sometimes it's hard to contain all that happiness and joy.<BR/><BR/>I majored in History. I can't tell you how many times I was asked, "Oh, History Teaching?" NO. NOT History Teaching. Is it shocking and inconceivable that I'd major in something that was not intended to send me straight into a classroom? Then again, I happened upon my MRS, I didn't go seeking it out.Carinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13859567470814286102noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13684790.post-24607614109428450802007-06-22T11:02:00.000-06:002007-06-22T11:02:00.000-06:00STM, very well-said by you. And I don't remember w...STM, very well-said by you. And I don't remember what the smut was. It was probably a tame piece of YA fiction but "smut" sounded better.<BR/><BR/>And oh my yes, we know the mom who did this. I wrote a blog post about it, which you can read <A HREF="http://missnemesis.blogspot.com/2007/04/get-your-indignation-handy.html" REL="nofollow">here.</A>Nemesishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00110470182822628791noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13684790.post-17392915894733900962007-06-22T08:40:00.000-06:002007-06-22T08:40:00.000-06:00When Plantboy graduated in December, half of the w...When Plantboy graduated in December, half of the walking graduates were el-ed or family and human development. Hundreds of them, each trying to marry one of TEN engineering graduates.<BR/><BR/>I could also never understand the sheer waste of money (or LOANS) to got to college to not gain anything useful.<BR/><BR/>I do like chosha's comment though. Several months ago in our ward a young sister gave a farewell talk, which, unfortunately, happened to be on mother's day. As she spoke about motherhood, she expressed deep regret about not being married and couldn't understand why the Lord meant her to go on a mission instead. It was the "instead" that was so disturbing. Who said she was making a choice? And if that was her attitude, she'd be better off staying at home on the man-hunt than ruining some companion's life.<BR/><BR/>I guess I think the circumstances of our lives are primarily a product of our choices, but sometimes they are just, well, circumstances. While, admittedly, mothers should be highly sensitive to their children, I doubt that if Mr. Right came along tomorrow (or next year or ten years from now) you would turn him down for a life of great travel benefits and supreme independence. The glorious choice you have made, Nem, is to find happiness in the circumstance that others would see as less than ideal.<BR/><BR/>One question: What was the smut? It sounds like a great book.<BR/><BR/>Okay, two questions, did Amyjane REALLY know a mother who did that? Very nurturing. Kudos, mom.Science Teacher Mommyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16579558647324072199noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13684790.post-71436838496673832412007-06-21T23:35:00.000-06:002007-06-21T23:35:00.000-06:00I'm all for getting married and having kids, but I...I'm all for getting married and having kids, but I was just surrounded by too many clueless girls without a desire to gain knowledge AT COLLEGE. And as a poor,full time student married mother of a nine month old I was horrified each day in class when the girls would say how 'fun' and 'precious' it will be mothering children. Aside from talking about making cute hairbows and themed birthday cakes they really didn't seem to be interested in marriage or motherhood prep. <BR/><BR/>Also, It was just a little ironic when my mom said that because I'm sure I smelled like baby crap or barf or both, my daughter had a cold and was fussy, eating out was when my sister took me, I was out of shape and hadn't recovered fully from having the baby and talked about the color of my daughter's bowel movements and how many hours a day she slept to people in regular conversation. And while I love being a mom, I doubt those moments are the moments when most people really envy my lifestyle. I know my sisters don't... :)Jennyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18045980270615348902noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13684790.post-83390097851064159552007-06-21T23:15:00.000-06:002007-06-21T23:15:00.000-06:00To add to what Amyjane said, a lot of it was just ...To add to what Amyjane said, a lot of it was just the sheer randomness of my sweet mom's comment. Like the reason the girls were <I>actually</I> upset with Jen is because they're secretly jealous of her--as all women must be.<BR/><BR/>Not that my mom was probably trying to take it that far.Nemesishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00110470182822628791noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13684790.post-68841054705134321822007-06-21T20:50:00.000-06:002007-06-21T20:50:00.000-06:00If these stupid girls really wanted a man, they sh...If these stupid girls really wanted a man, they should have majored in computer science, physics, or engineering. At least with the male/female ratio in their favor, they would have doubled their chances of getting what the man they wanted. Then again, they would are too stupid to figure out the statistics. <BR/><BR/>The first day in my freshman BYU ward we had to announce in RS what our goals at BYU were. Everyone of those girls said to marry a RM in the temple. I remarked I wanted to get a bachelors degree. I would have gotten one whether I married or not.abbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11593047822720487011noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13684790.post-37919882676817230962007-06-21T19:58:00.000-06:002007-06-21T19:58:00.000-06:00Chosha, I'm going to respond on behalf of Nem. I t...Chosha, <BR/>I'm going to respond on behalf of Nem. I think all that you said was very poignant and valid, and I think Stephanie would agree with you. The point was just that she did not yet have those things and it's always awkward/painful when little sis has those things and you still don't and well-meaning relatives keep bringing it up. I think it's just one of those moments. <BR/>Kind of like that single girl whose mom wanted her to go try on wedding dresses on behalf of her younger sister who was getting married but simply too busy to try on the dresses.AmyJanehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02110725642243839603noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13684790.post-19364658670112871772007-06-21T19:08:00.000-06:002007-06-21T19:08:00.000-06:00Apologies in advance for doing the deep rant over ...Apologies in advance for doing the deep rant over what was actually a funny story, but I guess it touched a nerve. Maybe two.<BR/><BR/>While I would have been jumping up and spluttering at your mum basically patting your sister on the head and telling her that she was only looking for something deeper because she already had the 'husband and child' in the bag (or her completely missing the appalling lack of recognition on the part of the girls that analysing those deeper social issues might actually be of value to them if they wanted to get married), I didn't see anything offensive about your mum saying that 'women want a husband and baby' IN FRONT OF YOU. <BR/><BR/>I know that technically it's a generalisation, but DON'T most women (and men!) want those things? Don't YOU want those things? I've never seen anything in your blog to suggest otherwise.<BR/><BR/>I mean, I get angry and frustrated when people think that marriage and kids is the ONLY THING women want (or need to be happy), or assume that a single woman (especially one over 25) will automatically want to marry any guy she meets, as if a ring on her finger is an end in itself, devoid from any consideration of actual connection and common values.<BR/><BR/>But when did being modern or educated start to mean that it was somehow wrong for a woman to want (or admit wanting) fulfillment of two of humankind's most fundamental needs? In the context it was a silly comment, but is it wrong in general for your mother to say that you want something you do want, just because you don't have it right now and other woman do? Are we supposed to feel ashamed of having the same needs as everyone else, just because those needs are (at present) unfulfilled? Is being human really so embarrassing?choshahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07724444970503533654noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13684790.post-1716596299781540762007-06-21T16:04:00.000-06:002007-06-21T16:04:00.000-06:00I have trouble even talking to girls like that—I c...I have trouble even talking to girls like that—I can't imagine ever marrying one. Even if I were straight, I mean. And yet, they do get married! It's mind-boggling.<BR/><BR/>NB: It's the "MRS" degree, not the "Mrs" degree. One way is hilarious; the other way is just completely offensive and inappropriate. :-DSeanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15397393719481888482noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13684790.post-70775249287014848932007-06-21T14:33:00.000-06:002007-06-21T14:33:00.000-06:00"SB, it was more about my mom talking about Jenny ..."SB, it was more about my mom talking about Jenny having what every woman wants in front of <I>me</I> that was the issue. This was just after I'd decided to head down the path of spinsterhood, even librarianship."<BR/><BR/>Oh, duh. Suddenly all becomes clear.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04323568112711824064noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13684790.post-6248127734664160542007-06-21T14:04:00.000-06:002007-06-21T14:04:00.000-06:00I think I remember you telling me this story. Nic...I think I remember you telling me this story. Nice.<BR/><BR/>I guess I picked the wrong major. Didn't know THAT would guarantee marital bliss. (Actually, my cousin majored in that and is separated from her hubby who is addicted to PORN).<BR/><BR/>I love how your mom generalized what all women want. Good times.<BR/><BR/>I still like your mom, btw.goddessdivinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03649750585495782767noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13684790.post-79874972606813932592007-06-21T13:01:00.001-06:002007-06-21T13:01:00.001-06:00Also, love the suggestion about labeling The Eyebr...Also, love the suggestion about labeling The Eyebrow. Will do.Nemesishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00110470182822628791noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13684790.post-71400471502041171682007-06-21T13:01:00.000-06:002007-06-21T13:01:00.000-06:00SB, it was more about my mom talking about Jenny h...SB, it was more about my mom talking about Jenny having what every woman wants in front of <I>me</I> that was the issue. This was just after I'd decided to head down the path of spinsterhood, even librarianship.Nemesishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00110470182822628791noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13684790.post-79026241521901949442007-06-21T12:32:00.000-06:002007-06-21T12:32:00.000-06:00It always amazes me that these are the girls who w...It always amazes me that these are the girls who work so hard and do so well in high school and then give it all up the second they're in college. Do they think that return missionaries are taking resumes?jerihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05334193146809678214noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13684790.post-7211741081998289122007-06-21T11:55:00.000-06:002007-06-21T11:55:00.000-06:00Color me a bit confused. On the one hand you say t...Color me a bit confused. On the one hand you say these girls were obviously just there to get married and then never work real jobs. But when your mom says that these girls just want to get married, have kids, and stay home, that's not okay? I feel like I'm missing something.<BR/><BR/>Also, I think The Eyebrow should have its own label.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04323568112711824064noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13684790.post-86109719488366837902007-06-21T10:40:00.000-06:002007-06-21T10:40:00.000-06:00Awesome post; stupid girls. You'd hope that, at so...Awesome post; stupid girls. You'd hope that, at some point in the high school effort to get into BYU, you'd have picked up at least some interest in learning and such. But, alas, it doesn't seem to work that way. <BR/><BR/>And I love that you referred to it as a "touchy-feely" majorJanssenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13178196211079230972noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13684790.post-10457930100342214952007-06-21T09:53:00.000-06:002007-06-21T09:53:00.000-06:00Those girls were such freaks. Seriously. It was su...Those girls were such freaks. Seriously. It was such a blow to my ego to be associated with such wrong thinking people.Jennyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18045980270615348902noreply@blogger.com