tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13684790.post8098001934036504200..comments2023-11-05T05:28:34.444-07:00Comments on Voice of Reason: And you thought I was done talking about the plight of the SingletonNemesishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00110470182822628791noreply@blogger.comBlogger40125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13684790.post-6128409398898027322009-07-11T11:21:24.718-06:002009-07-11T11:21:24.718-06:00My friend Annie showed me your blog. Just wanted t...My friend Annie showed me your blog. Just wanted to say i like it, but you're only like 22, so i'm not sure why you're so worried about the marriage thing. I used to get bugged about it all the time by family and friends after my mission, but now that i'm almost 29 and still single, i think they have given up. So no worries. Maybe they'll leave you alone soon :)Justin Nixonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07938392018355208202noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13684790.post-49712090034978859362009-04-08T15:58:00.000-06:002009-04-08T15:58:00.000-06:00Taren -- I made my mom read this too. Like the Fr...Taren -- I made my mom read this too. Like the Fresh Prince of Bel Air said, "Parents just don't understand".HiccupMeLhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00972892267779729720noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13684790.post-28675588579646662972009-04-06T11:45:00.000-06:002009-04-06T11:45:00.000-06:00Oh my goodness, I cannot say AMEN! enough. I am s...Oh my goodness, I cannot say AMEN! enough. I am sending a link to thie blog to all my wonderfully talented and beautiful single friends who have people like those parents in their lives.<BR/><BR/>Being 32 and single I feel like this post has been the theme of my life for the past 10 years. Thank you, thank you, thank you for putting it so perfectly.Miss Mhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17394038623047848964noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13684790.post-82832143560203501162009-04-03T12:40:00.000-06:002009-04-03T12:40:00.000-06:00Kristy, I've been meaning to read that book! Thank...Kristy, I've been meaning to read that book! Thanks for the reminder.Nemesishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00110470182822628791noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13684790.post-35379993352570371192009-04-03T11:27:00.000-06:002009-04-03T11:27:00.000-06:00Very well said, Nemesis. This post topic sort of ...Very well said, Nemesis. This post topic sort of reminds me of the book For Matrimonial Purposes by Kavita Daswani.Kristyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13533065229382099556noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13684790.post-83437851166539766242009-04-02T12:30:00.000-06:002009-04-02T12:30:00.000-06:00i made my mom read this.i made my mom read this.Tarenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14107218136676241318noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13684790.post-19701431938715907772009-04-02T10:01:00.000-06:002009-04-02T10:01:00.000-06:00Please write that book! Thank you for your post. I...Please write that book! Thank you for your post. I just want Mr. Right to know the awesomeness that is my daughter but I have gone about it all wrong. I will have your advice painfully tattooed on the inside of my brain so that when I am tempted to start the "Would you hurry and get a husband so I can have some grandbabies routine" I can refer to it.<BR/><BR/><BR/>Satisfied with being Single or Married and Miserable. Yes, I would pick the former for her. <BR/><BR/><BR/>Signed Guilty MamaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13684790.post-43302699742967574422009-04-02T08:33:00.000-06:002009-04-02T08:33:00.000-06:00Bee-a-you-tifully said! We preach that we believe ...Bee-a-you-tifully said! We preach that we believe God has a plan for each of us, but when it looks like the plan doesn't include marriage at 20, suddenly we don't believe in that individual plan so much anymore! So well said!Karinoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13684790.post-18434885050201802882009-04-01T22:28:00.000-06:002009-04-01T22:28:00.000-06:00Amen and AMEN!My parents weren't pushy, but others...Amen and AMEN!<BR/><BR/>My parents weren't pushy, but others were. I had the *pleasure* of being in the receiving lines for both of my younger sisters. I warned them the second time....and I did it! Mind you, I AM a card-carrying, Temple-attending LDS, but I couldn't help myself. When I had the dreaded question: "Boyfriend/When are we coming to YOUR wedding?" I just had to say it! I proudly told them (loudly) that I was gay. I figured such a bold lie would let them know that their intrusiveness was not appreciated.<BR/><BR/>I'm looking for your book in the bookstore.Mareehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05771268193885937211noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13684790.post-40865190299292341162009-04-01T18:11:00.000-06:002009-04-01T18:11:00.000-06:00Man, the girl is such a good sport. I would've be...Man, the girl is such a good sport. I would've been reduced to tears on so many occasions. Ugh. I know her parents mean well, but some of the things they say make <I>me</I> cringe, and I'm not their daughter!<BR/><BR/>Being single is not an affliction, nor does it require an aggressive treatment. Being married isn't a quick-fix to happiness and bliss. I think it's awesome that our friend is happy and enjoying life, and not bemoaning the wretched, pathetic life that other singletons sometimes do. Her parents should be proud of the wonderful woman she is, and stop trying to say that she'll be whole when she's married. She's pretty freaking amazing the way she is.Kristihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18164305839482497161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13684790.post-37374353282394650272009-04-01T14:41:00.000-06:002009-04-01T14:41:00.000-06:00I have an uncle who started introducing my cousin ...I have an uncle who started introducing my cousin as his "single daughter who is looking for a husband" when she was like 20. Made me SO thankful my parents are sane.Elshahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01302804262020241968noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13684790.post-5852264830445844262009-04-01T13:11:00.000-06:002009-04-01T13:11:00.000-06:00Awesome. So true. My parents also did not get it f...Awesome. So true. My parents also did not get it for a long time. Then one day when I was like 27, my Dad said something like, "You know what? You're life is totally different than mine. I never had so many possibilities and decisions to make. I got married when I was twenty and then the course was set. I really don't know what it's like." And I said, "No you don't" and "Thank you." My mom never really got it, often suggesting that I was being "too picky" (cute) but at least she never set up an online dating profile for me (sheesh). And when I found the right guy he was really the right guy. And I would do all that waiting all over again for a guy as right for me as my husband. (Not that that's a good idea, universe.)mjhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08159476032060692901noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13684790.post-20470018534547796242009-04-01T12:06:00.000-06:002009-04-01T12:06:00.000-06:00A Mini Cooper may not be the foundation of happine...A Mini Cooper may not be the foundation of happiness, but it might be a brick in the building. Go for it.Science Teacher Mommyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16579558647324072199noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13684790.post-57910975192008245822009-04-01T11:47:00.000-06:002009-04-01T11:47:00.000-06:00I can relate. And sadly, the excitement over you ...I can relate. And sadly, the excitement over you actually finding someone and getting married is quickly tempered by the fact that you aren't producing offspring fast enough.<BR/>I recently moved into a new ward where lots of people are asking me about my situation. When I say we have no kids, people ask "how long have you been married?" When I say 2 1/2 years, they say "oh."Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05823038708430984742noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13684790.post-46425265058337169392009-04-01T11:22:00.000-06:002009-04-01T11:22:00.000-06:00Ugh! Ugh ugh ugh!Ever since I was maybe 16, my mo...Ugh! Ugh ugh ugh!<BR/><BR/>Ever since I was maybe 16, my mom has talked about her "grandbabies". As an only child, you know where those grandbabies are coming from. She would talk about how she wants to spoil them or tell me how I should raise them or dreams she had about them. On and on. When I started seriously dating someone in my mid-20's and started talking marriage, she could barely contain herself.<BR/><BR/>Then we broke up. After that, no more grandbaby talk. Which in a way was kind of almost worse because it seemed like she had concluded there was no hope for me. It was weird to deal with the overt Mormon world pressure, the pressure I put on myself, and my mom's silence as pressure to find a man and start a family.Kellyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03573340707827029537noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13684790.post-16325553277604550122009-04-01T11:18:00.000-06:002009-04-01T11:18:00.000-06:00foodie, I still think you should show up to your h...foodie, I still think you should show up to your house with an ethnically diverse 'boyfriend'. Now <I>that</I> would make an awesome post.goddessdivinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03649750585495782767noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13684790.post-86615011280067404332009-04-01T10:07:00.000-06:002009-04-01T10:07:00.000-06:00Of course I cannot understand how it feels to be L...Of course I cannot understand how it feels to be LDS, single in Utah; I am none of those things. I married young, at 21 to a man I knew to be the right one, however I had never had another serious boyfriend and I hadn't slept with anyone else (still haven't I might add). It hasn't been plain sailing but it has been right. My two brothers are currently going through marriage break ups, they married young, my parents always considered them bad matches, but despite having no reason to do so pressured both into marriage. <BR/><BR/>All I would say is that as someone who now has an 18 year old son, I am at the same time keen for him to meet a girl, but don't want anything serious that might prevent him concentrating on his studies. I hope I will never say anything that in any way suggests I want him married with children any time in the next 10-15 years, unless of course it is the right person.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13684790.post-49111065707489242372009-04-01T10:05:00.000-06:002009-04-01T10:05:00.000-06:00Who says no drugs are involved and a few laws have...Who says no drugs are involved and a few laws haven't been broken which law enforcement hasn't linked me to yet?<BR/><BR/>I just wanted to add a few things.<BR/><BR/>First, Mom likes to tell everyone (i.e. family, neighbors, random individuals who happen to be passing by her tirades)that not only do I not know how to flirt, but that I just don't try either. There is just no "TRYING" to get married happening.<BR/><BR/>Second, "You're Dad is going to have a talk with you!" In reference to them dropping the internet dating thing, but that I am doing something wrong enough to deserve a PPI with my Father?! Still waiting for that one...kinda wish they would hurry it up, it would make a fabulous post!<BR/><BR/>Third, Mom having a small freak out session when it was mentioned a person of different ethnicity thinks my roommate and I are hot. "Well it isn't like you would ever date a black guy right?" "I mean you would never actively pursue someone like that right?"<BR/><BR/>That one was pretty funny actually. <BR/><BR/>Thanks for the post! You put it much nicer than I would have. I get catering rights to your book signing btw!FOODIEhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17364898018823330583noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13684790.post-84163265485388716622009-04-01T09:41:00.000-06:002009-04-01T09:41:00.000-06:00Thank you! I'm so glad you won't be forgetting th...Thank you! I'm so glad you won't be forgetting the plight of the singletons! I feel so bad for your friend!<BR/><BR/>My parents have cooled off on this subject, but it was bad for a while, especially when my younger brother and sister both got married 4 and 5 years ago(I'm the oldest). I think I was feeling bad enough for myself but I was trying to make the best of it so I said something about getting a little purse dog (I'm allergic to cats... otherwise) and a Mini Cooper and "wouldn't I be cute"? My Mom's response: "You'd be cuter with a ring on your finger pushing a stroller!" Said in all seriousness. I really think I just started crying. <BR/><BR/>Of course that's what I've always wanted and I think my reaction to her words made my mom realize that it's not something I can control. I was trying to be happy with things I could control (ok a dog and a car aren't the answers to happiness, I know that) and luckily she realized that. I haven't gotten much interference since. But I still do feel like it's at the back of their minds.<BR/><BR/>It's a great blessing so of course it's something they want for me, but pressuring me isn't going to help the situation.<BR/><BR/>I still don't have a purse dog or a Mini Cooper either... sad!Carlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09248680981102274228noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13684790.post-53368783679659047452009-04-01T09:08:00.000-06:002009-04-01T09:08:00.000-06:00amen. maybe you should start a snarky dating servi...amen. maybe you should start a snarky dating service. just saying...Bethanyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03717031500591338111noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13684790.post-81524320847756332112009-04-01T06:03:00.000-06:002009-04-01T06:03:00.000-06:00According to Phil Collins' song "You Can't Hurry L...According to Phil Collins' song "You Can't Hurry Love", his momma offered this gem of advice:<BR/><BR/>"No, I cant bear to live my life alone. I grow impatient for a love to call my own. But when I feel that i, I cant go on. Well these precious words keep me hanging on<BR/><BR/>I remember mama said<BR/>You cant hurry love<BR/>No, youll just have to wait<BR/>She said love dont come easy<BR/>Well, its a game of give and take<BR/>You cant hurry love<BR/>No, youll just have to wait<BR/>Just trust in a good time<BR/>No matter how long it takes!"<BR/><BR/>Now THAT is a good momma! Haha!<BR/><BR/>But seriously... you gotta marry your match or you will be miserable! I remember at BYU looking at my roommates and thinking "Who will be the first to go? (aka Get Married)." Heck, we may have even had this discussion some late night freshman year! Anyway, I remember especially in my apartment when I only had 5 roommates, so it was easier to "rank" them... I TOTALLY put myself on the bottom of the list! I was quirky, mostly ackward, low self-esteem... <BR/><BR/>Anyway... I ended up being amoung "the first to go" because I met my match! And the girl I thought would be the first was one of the last because she had not met her match yet. She could have easily out of desperation "settled" with the married is better than no-married. She had a ton of guys interested in her. But there was no "spark". But in the mean-time she did some awesome things!<BR/><BR/>My point is the same as everyone else's... you just need to let your child do their thing! Nothing would be worse than them ending up in a terrible marriage and having the "Man, maybe I pressured her too much to get married and now she is married to a loser" thought hanging over your head!Audrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05340873364042352323noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13684790.post-71144339808073213572009-04-01T04:41:00.000-06:002009-04-01T04:41:00.000-06:00Parenting: the rearing of children by their paren...Parenting: the rearing of children by their parents<BR/>Interfering: to intrude in the affairs of others; to meddle<BR/>the end.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15616038477865625828noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13684790.post-82145804471330298752009-04-01T00:44:00.000-06:002009-04-01T00:44:00.000-06:00Can I get an AMEN!My parents aren't that bad, at l...Can I get an AMEN!<BR/><BR/>My parents aren't that bad, at least not actively. They're more passive about it all. Like for the family Christmas letter last year, they were putting pictures of all of us with my new nephew. When I asked them if nothing else exciting happened in our family, my mom honestly said no. It was good to know that my moving and starting a PhD wasn't exciting news in my family.<BR/><BR/>My last bishop, on the other hand, was a lot more forceful. During tithing settlement he asked if things didn't work in the kissing department with the guy I was seeing and if that's why we weren't married.<BR/><BR/>Enough to make you pull chunks of hair.Roxiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02798242755273465376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13684790.post-84307487728079470692009-03-31T22:56:00.000-06:002009-03-31T22:56:00.000-06:00I was 29 (3 months shy of my 30th birthday) when I...I was 29 (3 months shy of my 30th birthday) when I married (nearly 12 years ago, now).<BR/><BR/>Been there. Done that. Had the degree (was considering the master's). Had the job. Had a pretty good life and was at the point where I knew I could be happy if I never married. Except, I had the cool parents. I feel for your friend. <BR/><BR/>And, "Spinster Parenting"? Totally awesome book title.Holly (2 Kids and Tired)https://www.blogger.com/profile/13075380878850295214noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13684790.post-9572483269973813212009-03-31T22:13:00.000-06:002009-03-31T22:13:00.000-06:00I hated being single, mormon and residing in Utah ...I hated being single, mormon and residing in Utah as well when it was all going down. I didn't have problems with my parents as much as I did my grandparents but that is a WHOLE other story. I totally feel your friends pain though. I hope she finds some amazing guy on accident after her parents decide to give up so she can point and laugh... because that would be awesome.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com