8.17.2005

IMing with Cicada (totally work related)

Cicada says: So have you ever heard of *Kitchen Confidential"?
Nemesis says: Yep. I've seen the book in bookstores and in your brother's car.
Cicada says: Yeah . . .
Cicada says: Well, the guy says that you only need one knife.
Cicada says: But make it a good knife.
Nemesis says: Like what, a big butcher knife for everything?
Cicada says: He suggests "Global" because they're really good and relatively inexpensive.
Cicada says: But "relatively inexpensive" means about 80 bucks.
Nemesis says: And then if you lose it . . .
Nemesis says: But you wouldn't lose it.
Cicada says: Well, how do you really lose a knife.
Cicada says: I mean, where do you take them? Other than from one side of the kitchen to the other.
Nemesis says: Someone could steal it.
Cicada says: hahaha
Cicada says: Well, if I used *that* rationale for everything, I wouldn't have bought a computer.
Nemesis says: Or if you have to stab an intruder and then you don't want to use it anymore.
Cicada says: OOoo!
Cicada says: But then I could hang it on the wall and label it, The Knife That Killed My Intruder.
Nemesis says: Oh yeah, true point.
Nemesis says: Then maybe the cutlery equivalent of the NRA would replace it, and they would use you as a media darling. "See? See? You DO have to kill intruders, all the time, and THAT'S why you need a stockpile of weapons in your house!!!"
Cicada says: I could totally be an NRA poster girl.
Nemesis says: Yeah you could. NRA Bob from the office could be your sponsor.
Cicada says: Yes!
Cicada says: And I could hang pictures of Charlton Heston in my home.
Nemesis says: Signed, of course.
Cicada says: Of course.

11 comments:

Cicada said... [reply]

Oh, you forgot this part:

Nemesis: How is that course coming along that I gave you?

Cicada: It's coming along great---I'll be done by tomorrow. It talks about Global knives. So have you ever heard of Kitchen Confidential?

...

Cicada: My course also deals with Charlton Heston pictures. The course that you and I are working on and discussing right now. Because it's allllll work related.

Sarita said... [reply]

I invested in some decent kitchen scissors (O-SO-HANDY) and after three weeks they disapeared into thin air. Nowhere to be found. Spooky.

daltongirl said... [reply]

You could be the president of the NCA, and I could replace my current bumper sticker with one that says "Cicada is MY President," because I'm tired of that Charlton Heston one, anyway.

And yeah, knives do disappear. Especially if you have kids, which I try not to think about too much, or it scares me. Especially when they're mad at me. I found my lovely kitchen shears out on the barbecue one day. That didn't go well for the kids, I can tell you.

Cicada said... [reply]

My mom once looked at our couch in the living room. There were perfect slits cut into the back of it. So she found brother 2 and asked him, "Son 2, did you cut holes in the back of the couch?" He said that he had. She asked why, and he said, "I wanted to see what a knife could do."

Being single and childless has its perks.

Kelly said... [reply]

I'm currently reading Kitchen Confidential, but I haven't read about the one knife yet.

Um, have you guys noticed it's kind of a dirty book. Chefs are SCANDALOUS! Funny thing is, it was recommended to me by another Mormon girl.

Nemesis said... [reply]

Yeah, I'm hearing now that chefs have the absolute worst mouths in the world. My friend was going to go to culinary school in Europe but once she got to know the industry a little better she decided against it--her words: "it's dirty, cutthroat, and political."

So there you have it.

If anyone wants to read about food without the $%*@s, I loved A Year in Provence and the books that followed it.

Sarita said... [reply]

My sister cut through our leather couch at age four. Her explaination was, I wanted to see what it felt like to cut."

Cicada said... [reply]

When I talk about Kitchen Confidential, if people seem interested in it, then I warn them: the language is absolutely foul and the stories are absolutely foul. If they're still interested, then they can read it.

On our trip up from Vegas, my dad suggested that I read a couple chapters out loud. I told him it was full of language and stuff. He said that I didn't have to read it exactly as it was written. So I did pretty well, except there were a couple parts that I came to a full stop and had to take about 30 seconds to collect my thoughts and try to fix what I was just about to say. He makes a comment about fuzzy little Emeril... poooooor Emeril.

chosha said... [reply]

"See? See? You DO have to kill intruders, all the time, and THAT'S why you need a stockpile of weapons in your house!!!"

No. All you need...is one knife. ^_~

Savvymom said... [reply]

My Dad mailed me his parents set of cutco knives when my grandmother died becuase SavvyD always talked about them. Then he found out how much they were about two years later and thought about changing his mind. I love those things.
Today I accidentally sliced though part of my fingernail when cutting tomatoes. Sharp as can be, those things are!

CoolBoyH said... [reply]

I was almost canoodled into being a Cutco Salesman. However, the life of a salesman does not appeal to me. Not to mention I didn't want to be a part of a company that intentionally hides what they are untill your first interview.

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