Ceroc your mom!

I learned 3 things today.

1. My new voltage compliant flat-iron is rubbish.

2. Some freakshow girl at BYU-Idaho today hit my baby brother in the face with a plastic soda bottle when a conversation didn't go her way, which split his eyebrow and caused much bleeding. Note to said girl: If you ever touch my brother again, I will make sure that he charges you with assault and battery, and that you end up in handcuffs, which is where you belong. And if he won't do it, I'll grab a nice brick and we'll have some vigilante justice. I don't care who wasn't paying enough attention to you--you'd best get some coping mechanisms now.

3. Ceroc is possibly the funnest thing ever.

I went dancing tonight after Institute after hearing everyone talk about this weirdo Ceroc thing for weeks now. And now I can see why they like it so much--it's addicting. It reminds me a little bit of swing dancing, but with more hips and less violence. The footwork is simpler, and it isn't as fast-paced (unless people want it to be, I assume).

It was held at this community center, and the ages ranged from teenagers to seniors citizen. Also you could dance to pretty much any kind of music, so they weren't playing all the same stuff. It was kind of like country dancing in that all the ages were there and mingling. (Not that I've done much country dancing. You run into too many Country People at those places. :-) And now if my Country Friends could refrain from smacking me, that would be great.)

Anyway, most of the people in our group knew what they were doing, so they taught the few of us who didn't. I think having a tiny bit of swing background (but no more than your average Mormon American Girl who Went to Stake Dances has) helped out on the spins and things like that. I learned some dips, and at least I didn't fall on my rear or anything.

The only awkward moments (because you know there have to be some) came when I danced with a guy who didn't know what he was doing either--we were both first-timers. I didn't know enough to just start leading him, and I had a hard time knowing what he was trying to get me to do. I'm sure he was just as frustrated with me. Finally he said, "You spin three times." I spinned obligingly, only then he kept spinning me again and again until the lights started going all fuzzy and I got conked in the head by his arm. He was very sorry about that. At another point he reached out (I think) to grab my shoulder, but didn't . . . quite . . . make it. And since I was pretty sure The Grope wasn't one of the moves I wanted to learn, I suggested that we just call it good.

So anyway, yes, I will definitely be doing that some more. Also it's good exercise, so there's another reason why I'm not going to the gym this year! Huzzah!


kristen said... [reply]

Hey, maybe this is a good way to meet guys (the non-groping kind, even if it was an 'accident').

As for that girl--it's a good thing you're half a world away........
Blame it on the parents--she probably had a poor upbringing.

redlaw said... [reply]

You got felt up in England!!! Is it really pathetic that I am jealous that a boy accidentally groped you? Don't answer that - I know the answer...
But look on the bright side - it's a reaffirmation of the fact that you're a girl.
And Ceroc sounds awesome.

As for the wench who nailed your brother in the head with a bottle, well, I know some people who know some people who could kick her @$$ if you'd like...just let me know.

Savvymom said... [reply]

Your non shoulder parts seem to be getting a lot of attention since you've moved to the UK. Very interesting....

DanaLee said... [reply]

True Story: Stumpy, my younger brother is orthopedically impaired and walks with crutches and leg braces. [No, that isn't why I call him Stumpy so don't think I am being rude.] Anyway, I was driving a car full of YSAs including Stumpy and a girl, let's cal her Crazy, home from a dance. Crazy had finished drinking a Snapple, as you will recall Snapples come in thick glass bottles. At some point in the car ride Crazy got annoyed with Stumpy. She then took her Snapple bottle and whacked the snot out of Stumpy's leg. Umm, remember how that bottle is glass??? When Stumpy screamed Crazy's response was, "Shut up, you can't even feel your legs!" I nearly pulled the car over and beat her senseless right then! First , HELLO, of course he can feel his legs, he is walking isn't he? Because you know, people who can't feel their legs couldn't feel to walk--DUH! Moreover, even if he can't feel it she still could have broken the bottle and cut him or broken a bone! I was so ticked! Crazy girl.

The dancing sounds fabulously fun. When you get back to the states, you should try Contra dancing. Very similar set up and loads of fun.

Desmama said... [reply]

Nem and Danalee---

Your stories of insane females make me shudder. Nem, my vote is for VIGILANTE justice. Bricks! Bricks!

Cicada said... [reply]

Oooo, you dancing queen! I also want to brick some girls's heads now.

CBH said... [reply]

Yes, i'm ok now though. SHe hasn't even said she was sorry yet, she came over today and everything. I'm quite over it, but I think it's interesting how she refuses to acknowlage that it happened. Seriously, that's the best story we've had all week. I did manage to wipe my blood on her face as payment. Hope she enjoyed it.

And there will be no need to brick throwing, even though she's about a foot taller than I. I'm quite sure I can handle her myself. Just as long as she doesn't have a soda bottle and I dont see her coming.

And dearest sister, I'm willing to bet if you went dancing every night in Utah you'd be able to find a nice non-smug-non-married boy to go out with. But his name probably wouldn't be Nigel, or Nate, or Tony Blair.

metamorphose said... [reply]

Is Nate a strictly British name? Nigel on the other hand...but what about JASPER! I wouldn't mind a good accidental grope from an old British bloke named Jasper.

Danalee, I don't know you, but your story made me want to rip out that girl's hoo-hah. Even if he had been paralyzed, when is it okay to repeatedly whack ANYONE, impaired or not impaired with a glass bottle???

Someone definitely needs some anger management.

Panini said... [reply]

That sounds totally fun! And what a nut-job at the YI! I'm going there tomorrow morning. Let me know if you want me to carry out your hit.

J Alfred said... [reply]

I was there at Ceroc too last night and it was tons of fun. MN is a bit of a groover.

FYI I had nothing to do with the non-shoulder incident.

I know a couple of American Nates--so I'm not sure that it's strictly British. Tho, maybe their parents had just watched too much Python and wanted to get some Britishness into their families?

Nemesis said... [reply]

Kristen, I will blame the girl's behaviour on her parents. Maybe they'll get bricks to the head too.

Redlaw--I think I should have that printed on a T-shirt.
(Ahem, Foodie? Hook a girl up?)

Savvymom--are you smoking something? What other attention have they received?

Danalee, I hope you did stop your car, even if it was just to kick that nasty girl out. I can't even believe that story!

Texmom, I think the LoneStar State may be starting to rub off on you . . . pretty soon you'll be stockpiling ammunition!

Cicada--Yes! Let's brick people together! It could be like a party, and we could have marinated brie afterwards.

My dear brother, you just remember your civil rights, mkay?

Metamorphose, if I see any elderly men named Jasper next time I'll send them your way! They will love the pink hair.

Panini--I think we'll give the legal system a chance first. But have a great weekend with your family & say hi to your sisters for me!

J. Alfred--If "groover" is a good thing, then thank you! I am now blushing modestly. I had great teachers!

foodie said... [reply]

Are you secretly taking drugs, or are you on some form of medication that is making you have violent tendencies? Maybe it is just me, but I thought I was the only one who had those--even when it doesn't have anyhting to do with stupid girls and my brother!

Julie said... [reply]

I'm British and don't know anyone called Nate. Mind you I had never heard of Ceroc but I'd love to have a go, it sounds great.

amyjane said... [reply]

Huh. I thought I commented on your newfound dancing skills but it doesn't seem to have posted. Dumb computer. As for coolboy....we're sure it wasn't my sister that smacked him, right? Cause she's kind of violent.

Nemesis said... [reply]

Yeah, I think the consensus here is that Nate is not so much a British (or strictly British) name. Nigel and Tony Blair, though, those were good!

Amyjane, I think we would've heard about that little detail. But hey! Could we send her to pay this other girl a visit?

Kelly said... [reply]

BYU-Idaho girl needs to step back. What a freakshow.

The Grope: Well...I mean, you're getting some action, right?

April said... [reply]

I've never smacked anyone's face with a soda bottle before, though I've been severely tempted. I have, however, given the silent treatment a time or two. Yeah, you don't want to mess with me...er...oh.

ambrosia ananas said... [reply]

Oooh. How fun. Curious that Ceroc came from jive, which is basically the scariest sort of swing ever.

My weapon of choice is a crowbar. I hope that doesn't cause me to be excluded from your little wench-beating party.

Nemesis said... [reply]

Kelly--Maybe I shouldn't have been quite so vocal in bemoaning my lack of action. If I'd known this was the way the situation would be ramified . . .

April, we can go to the anger management class together--right after we tie up some loose ends. :-)

Hi Brozy! You do have to try Ceroc, I think you would love it. And hey, bring the crowbar.

Coop said... [reply]

As I'm not allowed to read the comments on your latest post, I comment hear to tell you that your latest was hilarious. Umm... that's all.

Nemesis said... [reply]

Coop, you are wise. And I thank you.

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