Will you SHUT your stupid mouth face dumb piece of stupid UP!!!!

Seriously, there needs to be a special weapons permit that allows me to carry a taser and just zap the living crubbish out of people who won't shut their fool heads up in the computer lab.

Right now my ire and wrath and anger and irritation are directed at one group of lab-talkers in particular. For a second I was worried that maybe I had become a racist, on account of the group I was mad at is from a different ethnicity than my own. Only I don't think I was mad at them for being of a different ethnicity--I was mad at them for being loud potty-mouthed freaks who wouldn't shut the heck up while I was trying to work.

For those of you who don't know (so pretty much all of you) this is the beginning of the insane cruch time, which will end on December 16th when my last project before Christmas break is turned in. These guys were working on one of the same projects that I was. We have to create a classification scheme/taxonomy/heirarchical structure thingie to do with algae, because the instructors figured we wouldn't know anything about algae (they would be right, there) and would have to look everything up. I just barely finished mine, and these guys had just started. Only they were very, very frustrated about it.

"****ing algae, why the **** does algicides go ****ing after ****ing pesticides, ****? And what about the ******* herbicides then?"
"At's cos ******* herbicides is a kind of pesticide, innit!"
"Herbs ain't pests, you stupid ****! So is it a ******* algicide or a ******* herbicide?"
"Yeah yeah, only oi fink you put herbicides under pesticides."
"This **** is ******, man."

So remember that part where I used to think English accents sounded so cultured? I take it back. These guys and chavs have ruined if for me forever. This went on for a while, and then their girlfriends (who were all dressed alike) showed up and added to the general din, while I prayed for sweet sweet death.

They're gone now, thank the dewey heavens above. And when they come back, I'll be ready.


jaime said... [reply]

Okay...I laughed so hard at the "I'll be ready!" and then the link to the weapon part. You sure have done your research! :)

Seriously, though, I hate it when people just don't know when to shut up. Especially when they are using very bad language. I occasionally encounter some of that at work, but for the most part people try to be respectful of me. So sorry you have to go through with all that. I have no doubt that you WILL be ready. :)

Stupidramblings said... [reply]

Don't worry, finals will be over soon and you can concentrate on finding the other Horcruxes...

Squirrel Boy said... [reply]

You know, those tasers would make great stocking stuffers.

JB said... [reply]

Nem, have I mentioned lately how much I adore you? I also think you should be armed with a tazer. Go to it, Nem! Also, the things that ruined my nearly unconditional love of the British accent were the babyish talk and the speech-impediment-sounding accents. Such as:

"I'm firty free."

"You're how old?"

"Firty free."

(:confused: And you still haven't gotten over that speech impediment? Oh, right. That's an accent over here. . .)

And then there's the fact that they add "ie" and "y" to the end of everything. Trolly and the like are okay, it's things like "brelly"--which sound like 2 yr. old speak--that got on my nerves. . . Meh.

kristen said... [reply]

ok. I was laughing at your 'impersonation' of those ignorant freaks (sorry, anyone who uses that much profanity is IGNORANT--can't they think of other words?!).
So what happened to the shushing? Only, that may not be effective in this case. I think the taser would work nicely. You could condition them like Pavlov's dogs--every time they swear they get a zap!

Savvymom said... [reply]

Do you think it's legal to taser children when they are being dumb?

TannerJ5 said... [reply]

Nemesis, I think you would be very forceful with a taser gun. you could just shoot them with it and then they would shut up!also,as stupidramblings said, I think I have found the other horcruxes! I heard a theory which I think is quite correct, so email me at TannerJensen@gmail.com
also, any word on why the at symbol looks so funny here?

Panini said... [reply]

That's hilarious! You go girl - show them how an American can take control! (oh, wait...no political references there)
bummer and good luck with the finals!
p.s. on the algae...what a nasty assignment, honestly...couldn't it at least be interesting? (unless you did the dinoflagelates...tell me it was them...)

Th. said... [reply]


That reminds me. Lady Steed and I just watched Billy Elliot and wanted to ask you if British people really do talk like that.

But I guess there's no need to ask now.

April said... [reply]

Taser guns, eh? Well, such a small price to pay for such a sweet reward. :)

Cicada said... [reply]

I can't wait till these guys are actual, real librarians!

Your ****ing book is ****ing three hours late, you dumb ****. You owe the library fifty quid. Thank you, have a nice day.

chosha said... [reply]

This is the reason I snuck into the Law lab so often even though I wasn't a Law student - it was open 24 hours and ours wasn't. About half a dozen of us worked from midnight till dawn every night of the mid-term holidays. It was so quiet and we only stopped to snack and chat for a bit around 3am. Great study venue.

The Divine Miss A said... [reply]

I am so sorry that you had problems Miss N. And I thought I had it bad when there were two girls text messaging during sacrament on Sunday.

Maybe next time I could borrow your weapon, or maybe I could just ask Santa for a taser for Christmas. (It could also come in handy to whip little ones [with hormones] into shape.)

DP said... [reply]

Yeah, text messaging isn't so bad, even in sacrament meeting, since it normally just distracts you and not too many other people. Unless, like me, you send text messages to your friends throughout the room that say, "Did you remember to silence your phone?"

redlaw said... [reply]

I ****ing hate it when ****ers use such ****ing foul *** language. Where are the ****ing manners anymore?

abby said... [reply]

Unfortunately, the descriptive language is used by real librarians...usually when describing patrons. :) I do think a taser would be useful weapon under a reference desk.

amyjane said... [reply]

You MIGHT think about calming down just a little. You might rupture something. Also, I love that my 12 year brother is in on the blogging. Doesn't he sound like a little grown-up person? :)

ambrosia ananas said... [reply]

Thanks for reminding me that it really *isn't* so bad when some loudmouthed twat starts talking full-volume on her cell phone in the library. At least there's only one of her, and, though not terribly intelligent, her conversation is clean.

Nemesis said... [reply]

Thanks everyone for validating my rage!

Jaime--anything to make you laugh. ;-)

Thanks, stupid. You have comforted me marvelous much.

SQ--I know! And they're on sale!

JB, you're a sweetie. And yes, I too love the "fir'y free" accents.

Kristine--I should have shushed, but I was a bit hesitant about taking on 7 people all at once. It could have turned ugly.

Savymom, I checked and it's okay as long as you have it set to "Stun."

Hi Tanner! I'll have to email you once exams are over, but does the theory have anything to do with the ---- that they found in the ---- in the last book?

Pan, I am afraid to even ask what dinoflagelates are. I don't think they're something I would like.

Th. Yep, question solved. Isn't Billy Elliot great, though?

Indeed, April. Indeed.

Hee hee, Cicada. I've decided that these were undergrads who were studying information systems or something. So they'll probably end up making loads and loads of money. So unfair.

Wow, Chosha. Check you out with your nocturnal self!

Oh man, DMA. Those two girls have it coming. I hope and pray that you will be the one to give it to them. I would fly across the ocean to see that!

Dp, you must be a nicer person than I am. Because if it distracts me then that's all it takes to make it worthy of censure and possibly lashing.

******* straight, Redlaw. Where's the ******* class??

No worries, Abby. When I get one I'll take it everywhere with me, including work. :-)

Amyjane, I think we both know that it never works to tell us to calm down. And yes, your brother is just a darling little man-person.

Ambrosia, you are right. But even if she is just one, she is still One Who Should Be Corrected. (Please please tell me that you meant to type in the word "twit" and failed, otherwise I may have to spray some form of bathroom cleaner in my eyes.)

Th. said... [reply]


Thank you. I shall get my first decent night's rest now for the first time since...gosh...what was the first British movie I ever saw?

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