The Brits meet Dixie and she frightens them

My absolute favorite breakfast is my mom's (and now my) biscuits & sausage gravy. It's a Southern staple, and people who've never tried the real stuff are missing out. (Note: whatever they serve you at Denny's or from the big cauldron at gas stations is NOT the real thing. You must never let such an abomination pass your lips.)

So during the Christmas break I decided that I needed some biscuits & gravy and that WR needed to be introduced to the finer aspects of Southern cuisine. Turns out that a fun thing to do is tell a British person you are making them biscuits 'n gravy. Go on, try it sometime! They will look at you and say, "Biscuits . . . with gravy???" as they imagine someone taking a plate of Hobnob cookies and pouring a boatload of brown gravy over them. Then they start retching. It gets even better when you mention the sausage. Landlady J couldn't get over it, and started laughing through the dry heaves. Once I explained further she decided that I was making sugarless scones with white sauce and sausage. Which . . . okay.

I had to make the biscuits from scratch, since they don't actually make Bisquick here, and I had to forego the Jimmy Dean sausage in favor of Sainsbury's brand. But the end result worked, I think, even though the sausage-to-milk ratio was off in the beginning. And I wasn't too worried about whether WR would eat it, because the main ingredient is sausage, which I think might be his favorite section of the food pyramid.

So I served us both, took a picture especially for my blog friends, and proceeded to dig in. To my right I saw WR pick up a biscuit half with his hand and take a bite out of it.

WR: "Mmmmm . . . this is quite tasty!"

Me: "Oh my gosh, what are you doing???"

WR: "What?"

Me: "Um, you don't eat this with your hands. It's against the rules."

WR: "Why not?"

Me: "You just don't!"

WR: "But that's how the French eat it."

Me: "Aaaughh! Don't mention the French, my father will be reading this!"

WR: "Erm, not sure what the problem is here."

Me: "Because, people will see the pictures and they will know that I failed because you're not supposed to be physically able to eat this with your hands! The gravy is too thick and now everyone will know and the Daughters of the Confederacy will tell me that I'm out of the club and I'm not allowed to make biscuits and gravy anymore and I will die from the shame!"

WR: (calmly continued eating his meal, hoping that the rabid banshee next to him would eventually settle)

As soon as I finished my plate, I raced to the kitchen to add more milk to the gravy. The problem was that an English package of sausage is bigger than an American package of sausage, so I needed more milk to compensate. And that's all. I know what I'm doing. I do!

WR went back for seconds and ended up nearly finishing off the pan. I swear I've never seen anyone who can pack away as much food as he can. Also he was very complimentary and told me that he really liked it. That's the nice thing about cooking for WR--he always compliments the food and then usually offers to do the "washing up." And yes, he calls it that, which I think is adorable. Somehow in my egocentric world English people only use words like this because they know I get a kick out of it.

In case anyone wants to try this at home, here's the very simple recipe:

1 package sausage
3 or so tbsp flour
3 cups of milk
salt & pepper

biscuits (made from a mix or scratch)

Brown the sausage in a large saucepan--don't drain out the grease. Once cooked, sprinkle in the flour & stir to coat the meat. Add the milk and stir over low heat until the gravy thickens (about 10 minutes). If the gravy's too thin, let it cook down. If it gets too thick, add more milk and reheat. (Hint: If it's thick enough to eat with your hands that's bad!) Add salt and pepper to taste, serve hot over warm biscuits.

Extra points if you up the cholesterol quotient with a side of fried or scrambled eggs. Bonus extra points if you use a Southern accent for the entire meal.



kiki said... [reply]

I'm not a Daughter of the Revolution (I think), but I am a Daughter of the Confederacy and a Daughter of Slave Owners. YOU'RE OUT! Mmm...biscuits and gravy sounds so yummy right now. Must go make some and eat it with a fork.

FoxyJ said... [reply]

Don't wave biscuits and gravy under the nose of the pregnant woman with major cravings... Mmm..biscuits and gravy. I think I need to go to the grocery store.

Savvymom said... [reply]

I'm glad you got the biscuts and gravy out of your system before you come here. :) I can almost assure you we won't be eating that.

Kelly said... [reply]

K, we are SO hanging out someday! I heart biscuits and gravy. Well, actually all Southern food. My parents and I cooked some real fried chicken when I was home for Chirstmas.

Do you need me to send you some Bisquick, darlin'? That's a Southern staple, if ever there was one.

John said... [reply]


stupidramblings said... [reply]

You can say THAT again, Savvymom.

Anyway, so it looks like you are getting along culinarily over there, as well as romanticationally. If you need any recipes, just ask me--I'm stupid!

And if you get a chance to go over to gay Paree, let 'em know I sent you. It should do well by the locals; the name Stupid really holds weight there...

Nemesis said... [reply]

Carrie--I knew it would happen. See, everyone? See what happens when you shirk your Womanly Southern Duties??

Foxyj, if my recipe can bring any joy to your time of pregnancy, that would just make my day.

Savvymom--sometimes I wonder if we're even sisters. Only then, you know, I remember all the ways we ARE. Sadly for you, this is not one of them, I guess.

Yay, Kelly! Isn't homemade fried chicken amazing? I don't even bother with the other kinds. Yeah, we'll have us a feast when we finally do get together! And you are GENIUS for suggesting Bisquick--I can stash a box in my suitcase.

John, you don't even know. I promise, it's great. WR? Back me up here?

Stupid, I can just imagine how the French will respond when I say that "Stupid sent me." I imagine G Dubya's name will be brought up at some point. And I'm glad you're not sick anymore!

Anonymous said... [reply]

Did you ever make that for us when we lived together? I can't remember......

And thanks for the recipe. I'll have to try it sometime--in my NEW HOUSE which will be done soon (let's hope):)

April said... [reply]

Even though WR shamed you by eating with his hands, at least he ate it. But then, who wouldn't eat biscuits and gravy? That would be crazy.

Th. said... [reply]


Since no one else has mentioned it, I just wanted to say that the post was also very funny. Especially the part about the French and your father.

DanaLee said... [reply]

Girl, if your man is digging the sausage and you are using your southernly charms to keep him snared, you MUST make him sausage balls! This will of course require you to bring back the bisquick from your trip home. Then you will have some for the next time you have biscuits and gravy but seriously, sausage balls are second in line to sausage gravy for southern fixins. Course you can always work him up some chicken and dumplings too. I once had a man propose after making that from scratch. I had to turn him down, he had Yankee blood. It was a nice offer though.

Nemesis said... [reply]

Hi Kristen! I usually made it for conference, did you never have any then? And yay for your new house!

April, you are right. He ate them and went back for seconds, so I know he's a good 'un.

Aw, thanks Th.!You've never heard my dad rail against the French, but I promise it's something special.

Oh my gosh Danalee, I've never made sausage balls! (I can just hear Carrie now: "YOU'RE OUT!") Could you pretty please send me your recipe because I would love to try it!

TannerJ5 said... [reply]

That actually looks quite good.Also, I think it would be enjoyable to sell american biscuts on the street corner and yell out"Biscut's with gravy!Get um here!" then I would roll on the coblle laughing at all the gaging and "ugh!" ing.

redlaw said... [reply]

Nem, I think your dad and I would end up in a heated debate if we ever met....but that's okay, I have my dad for heated debates about the French so it's all good.

kiki said... [reply]

Sausage balls are a delight. Last year around Christmas time, my sister found a sausage ball mix at Sam's I think. They were divine. I may have to go see if there is still a mix at Sam's or if my parents have a package in the pantry. I will return and report my findings because those were the best sausage balls I'd ever had.

Also, my friend makes the best fried chicken in the world. Popeye's, eat your heart out!

Anonymous said... [reply]

So do the biscuits and gravy at the BYU Creamery count as the real stuff? Actually, probably not. But that never stopped me from eating the stuff.

Th. said... [reply]


Tannerj maybe on to something, although I'm thinking here in the US--a big Southern city probably. You'll have to use your patented pick-up-able recipe though.

If you set up next to a falafel stand, I guarantee you'll clean up.

chosha said... [reply]

Uh, hello...make from scratch or a packet?? SOME of us also live in countries where a biscuit is what you heathens call a cracker or a cookie...now I have to google up my own recipe...honestly! ;)

That was a very funny story by the way. I was cackling. Now everyone knows I'm playing on the net instead of working. Doh!

Snow Whiteley said... [reply]

Ahh, the Creamery. Hmm....

I think I remember you making biscuits and gravy one night, Nem, and, if it was you, they were amazingly good. I think your membership in the Daughters of the Confederacy is safe.

Also had to laugh/wretch at the visual of pouring gravy over cookies. Yuck!/Snort

kiki said... [reply]

Hey, hey, hey...let the Daughter of the Confederacy say who's safe and who isn't. Nem, fly me to England and make me some biscuits and gravy, and then I will tell you whether or not you are okay.

Divine Miss A, how in THE WORLD do you know who Axelle Red is and how can you stand to listen to her? (I do, however, get a little verklempt whenever I hear the song she sings with Renaud, Manhattan Kaboul. It's a little painful to listen to those two "sing", but it fits with the theme of the song.)

Nemesis said... [reply]

Tanner, you're a genius. Only how would I make money doing that?

Redlaw, it is good to have someone with whom to debate about the French issue. Only at my house the debate consists of my dad or brother going, "France Sucks" and me going, "Um, NO it doesn't! You don't even know!" Debate students should take lessons from us.

Carrie, we await the findings! My suitcase can always make more room!

Squirrel boy, I'm sorry, but I was thinking of precisely the BYU Creamery substance when I talked about the big cauldron of muck.

Sorry, Chosha! The reason I didn't include a good biscuit recipe is because I don't have one, otherwise I would've. But allrecipes.com has some nice ones! And I'm sorry that you are possibly going to lose your job. That stinks.

See, John? See? Another satisfied customer in the lovely form of Miss A. Thanks for your vote, dearest?

Carrie, you are too generous. I will begin saving my pennies now!

John said... [reply]

Pshaw! Gravy is for chicken and turkey and roast taters!
Biscuits are for milk and tea!

chosha said... [reply]

LOL Nah, if they fired people here for playing on the net, this place would echo with emptiness. ^_^

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