So maybe it won't be an actual bomb

Do they make chocolate bombs? Because I could do that. Whoppers/Maltesers are in the shape of a cannonball, so maybe I'll just eat lots of them.

I am still feeling a bit freaked out about the library job situation. What it's coming down to now is that I should have gotten some work experience and didn't, because I didn't know that I was going to be a librarian. I thought I was going to be an editor and possibly the ruler of a small right-thinking country. And now that I need the work experience, there's actually no time to get it, since I will graduate (if I can actually do this whole dissertation-thingy) in about 4 months. People are giving me good advice, and I'm going to see if there is any volunteer work or maybe a student library job that I can do this summer while I work on my dissertation, but other than that there's not much I can do at this point. I can also try to decide if my chances of getting a library job are better in the UK or in the States and then take it from there.

While I was pondering all of this, I got some news from my best friend Amyjane which served as an immediate perspective-realigner. Her husband Sean, who is also a dear friend even if he can rile me up like no other person on the planet (and even gets the better of me sometimes, dangit) has been diagnosed with cancer. They were just about to leave BYU for him to accept this great job, and she was about to quit her job and be a stay-at-home mom to their baby. So now all of that is completely derailed.

Amy and I lived together for 4 years, which is kind of amazing in Provo, where you can potentially cycle through 20 roommates in a calendar year. We had a Costco membership together and the next step would have been to adopt a baby from China, but then Sean came along. One thing she and I used to talk about late in bed on Sunday nights (separate beds, people) when we were sick of being Singletons was the idea--or, you know, desperate hope--that getting married would somehow mean that the future wouldn't be quite as nebulous and we wouldn't have to live these strange nomadic existences where life keeps throwing curveballs and we don't know where we'll be from one year to the next.

Only, as it turns out, I don't think we ever really reach that point, single or married. And so I can just buck up and stop being a big whiner, because I have so many blessings. I made the choice to quit my job and come out here, and I will never regret it. And I'll go on continuing to make choices and when my best-laid plans go awry I will do the best I can to make new choices.

(Please remind me in about 5 months when I'm lying in the gutter somewhere that I did say this.)

Amy & Sean are both being very positive and sensible and brave and funny about their new situation, but they will need lots and lots of faith and prayers. So, you know, if any of you have any of those things and can spare some, please do. Or even if you just have some good vibes or well-wishes and want to offer them, I'm sure that will help too.


goldilocks said... [reply]

Well, I'm offering my good vibes and prayers and faith even though I don't know Amy and Sean, but my heart goes out to y'all. My friend was recently diagnosed with Hodgkin's Disease last December. It's a shocking thing to have a friend so close to you battle with something that seems so big. But, yes, I've heard that lymphoma is apparently 'the best kind of cancer to get.' This may not help at all, but my cousin was diagnosed with it when she was 23 and just off her mission. She is a walking testimony that the thing can be beat. If you want to check out my friend's blog go to www.katieriddproctor.blogspot.com (sorry don't know how to do those cool 'click here' things)

DanaLee said... [reply]

Girl, buck up. I just googled positions in NC and there are TONS. I was particularly excited at one that is available at UNC. I could always use a sassy roommate that appreciates chicken-n-dumplings. Of course, I also am a believer that limited posted positions provide opportunities for you to create your perfect job. Figure out what you want to do and how to sell yourself to a location as a position they should create. It's happened for me, it can happen for you too!

The Divine Miss A said... [reply]

I don't even know what to say on this one, but I still feel the need to make a comment. I was checking Amy's blog yesterday when I saw the news and I was just shocked. I mean, you keep thinking, once I do ______, then everything will be perfect. Or, once I'm in a certain situation, I won't have to worry any more, or be uncertain anymore, or make major decisions anymore. My prayers are going out to Miss Amyjane, I just don't know what else I can do to help. Somehow I really want to do something concrete, but I don't know what.

On your end, it really looks like you're on the right track to getting a job--thinking ahead. Sometimes that's one of the things that helps. Really, I don't anticipate you having trouble, but I wish you luck (or best wishes) as you try to work it out.

Squirrel Boy said... [reply]

I don't have much to say except that that was a very wise post, Nemesis.

chosha said... [reply]

That post made me laugh and cry all in one hit. (The laughing was for the bit about the baby from China.) Life is indeed a weird existence and regularly throws things at us while yelling 'think fast!' I can't imagine getting news like that, because even though these days there is much greater likelihood of recovering from cancer, it's still never an easy road to walk. I'm sure her love will help sustain him, and I'll gladly add my prayers for his well-being.

jaime said... [reply]

I too am shocked by the news of Amy & Sean! I have heard so much sad news lately. Certainly my thoughts and prayers are with them at this time.

As for your library job situation, I think things will turn out better than you think, Nem. Buck up! Love ya tons.

P.S. I wrote you an "update" email. Did you get it?

Katya said... [reply]

I have another year before I finish my MLS, but I don't like hearing that the job market's so tight. I assume you already know about LIS Jobs - it's the most comprehensive librarian job site I've found. Good luck with everything!

TannerJ5 said... [reply]

So you remember how you called your blog "the rantings of a future spinster librarian"?? maybe you'll have to take out the future.I'm amyjanes brother, for everyone else who doesn't know.

Nemesis said... [reply]

Tanner, you're cruisin' for a bruisin' there, son. :-) Also, welcome back!

Nemesis said... [reply]

I probably waited too long to do this, but in all the excitement and relief I forgot to.

Sean doesn't have cancer--he had something else with very similar symptoms. So now he's fine and all of us are so very, very grateful! Thank you to everyone who prayed for them.

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