Hah HAH! Have turned it in for binding! Have had massage!

The massage was lovely. But the thing is, I have come to realize that the therapist I used to go to back in the days of back-destroying travel was a brilliant, brilliant genius superwoman with dark powers. She was the only thing that kept me from walking around like a hunchback for two years. I saved per diem money by eating Wendy's salads every day on the road and would then give the rest of it to her twice a month, at which times she would work. me. over. No lie, the woman did not rest until she got through every layer of muscle on my body and worked out every last bit of tension. She made me whimper a few times. She was the first (and last) person who ever used the words "hard as a rock" in connection with my bum. Only she didn't mean it in a good way. And she would spend less time on the rest of me so she could tackle the calcifying disgrace that is the back of my shoulders.

The girl I went to today did not do those things. Even though I told her right away where it hurt and what needed attention, she seemed to be more going through a set routine than actually trying to fix me. I wish that instead of giving my kneecaps and the inside of my elbows such rapt attention she could have possibly turned some of that back over to the parts of me that actually get tense. There was this one part where she kept running one finger down the inside of my arm from my wrist to my elbow. It made me think of the episode on Friends where Ross gets stuck giving an old guy a massage and has to make it up as he goes, incorporating wooden spoons and Matchbox cars. ("He said he liked the cars!")

On a more positive note, though, the room was decorated very well, with pretty little tealights. It was all very relaxing. And she used this massage oil with lavendar essential oils that smelled fabulous. That is my story.


Anonymous said... [reply]

Kudos on finishing. Enjoy your accomplishment.

Scully said... [reply]

Congratulations! You are a free woman. Did you fling out your arms and run up a hill shouting FREEDOM! at the top of your lungs? Because I think that is what I would have done. Until they carried me away to a lovely padded cell. But hey, at least the dissertation is done.

Jenny said... [reply]

I'm happy you're done. If you HADN'T finished though, I still would've loved you after you got disowned and cut out of the will and everyone thought you were a big fat failure. I even rehearsed a 'my condolances' speech for you, just in case.

I'm always here for you, sis.

kristen said... [reply]

Yay for you!! Congrats!! Now you have a title: Master Nemesis :)

Everything can go back to a Friends episode.....that's a good one.

Lindsay said... [reply]

Congratulations on finishing...I'll bet that you are now consumed by overwhelming feelings of mad relief and accomplishment. Yay!

Desmama said... [reply]

Indeed congratulations. And now you are on to see Wicked and your life will know a new level of happiness.

Jaime said... [reply]

Yay! Yay! Yay! Congratulations on finishing...I am so proud to call you my friend. Also, Master Nemesis...I like it! Well, good luck with all the last minute details. I hope this means I get to see you soon. :)

noelle feather said... [reply]

I need to thank you. Because of your post, I decided to call my massage therapist and I see her next week. :)

And, congrats BTW.

Cicada said... [reply]

I've never allowed myself to go to a massage therapist. Something about a stranger touching me everywhere doesn't exactly relax me...

Congrats! I'm just excited that you finishing brings you one step closer to home.

Anonymous said... [reply]

dg here: I think Mistress Nemesis would be more apropo. And why DON'T they give feminine names to the lower degrees? I mean, "bachelor"? Come on. Even though we've come a long way, baby, we've got a lot further to go.

Kelly said... [reply]


JB said... [reply]

How exciting, congrats!

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