Let's get physical

I worked out at the gym yesterday, because I am now One Who Works Out. Or at least I'm trying to be. Again. Some more. Two years ago back when I was working at BYU I did this Y-Be-Fit program where they get all this information about your health and diet and habits. They put me on a treadmill and had me lift weights and do a sit-and-reach. The sit-and-reach is never my favorite, because I quite likely have the shortest hamstrings in the entire world, including those of premature babies. I can barely go past my knees and people think I'm faking, but I'm not. Yet another reason why little old ladies who crossed the plains back in the days of the pioneers can school me at yoga. The Y-B-Fit girl also put me in the Bod Pod, which is one of those egg-shaped air displacement things to find out your BMI and fat percentages and all that. When I went to get my results they told me that I was obese. At which point I raised my eyebrow and said, "Excuse me?"

"Oh yeah," the girl chirped. "You're not overweight, mind you, but you're obese because 32% of you is fat. That's a really lot."

I'm thinking I'm probably back to that. Only if the scale at the new gym is right (please please please let it be wrong) then I'm quite likely obese and overweight. Either way I want to knock that thing over and light it on fire, so I'm just going to ignore it from now on and go about my exercise business.


Usually Happy said... [reply]

Oh girl, if you're obese, then I'm a gigantic beached whale waiting on the shore for a crane to come roll me back into the water.

blackjazz said... [reply]

If you're obese you must have trebled your weight since going back to the US!

Kristeee said... [reply]

Wow, seriously? That's a real motivator, being chirped at that you're a fat cow. Which you're not. If I could fit in your jeans I'd be doing the Toyota jump!

And what's the point of the sit and reach anyways? I've always been the champion - I can still reach 10" past my toes. But it's not like I'm in shape. Well, I suppose round is a shape...

Saxon said... [reply]

You obese?? not a chance. I second Blackjazz's comment. He's right the only way you can be obese is if you've trebled your weight since going to the US!

If they classify you as obese I'd hate to think what that would make me!

Nemesis said... [reply]

Thanks for your kind words. The sad part is that obesity doesn't actually have anything to do with weight. Even skinny little movie star people can be obese if it turns out that they have no muscle tone whatsoever, so all they really have is a thin layer of fat on their tiny birdlike bones. And you can be overweight without being obese, if it turns out that you're just a heavier/denser/muscly person who still has a healthy fat-to-muscle. Crazy, huh?

I tell you, the things you learn while you're staring slackjawed at some chirpy Y-Be-Fit girl . . .

The McCulloch Family said... [reply]

The sit and reach is stupid. What if you have real short arms and long legs? Or short legs and gorilla arms like some people that are related to me. It is stupid and means nothing. When I was a superflexible gymnast in the 5th grade people could still get farther on me that that. Gorillas.

Also, I think you need to get on the scale that I use. I think it's been adjusted so all those scary eating disordered gym rat girls can feel good about themselves, because it hands out low numbers like it's Christmas or something.

Nemesis said... [reply]

I would like to point out right here that I am not the person with short legs and gorilla arms in the family. I am the one with short legs, short arms, and a 6-foot torso. When I sit on the ground I can't touch my palms to the floor. This made Amyjane laugh real hard when we used to do yoga together.

chosha said... [reply]

Um, I'm sorry, but that is the biggest load of bollocks I've heard all month. Unless you have DRASTICALLY changed from the bowling photos you posted a few months ago, there is no way on God's green Earth that you are even overweight, let alone obese. 50% fat? That girl is tripping!

Work out all you want. Get fit and strong and all those other good things. But the next person who uses your name in connection with the word 'obese'...? Raise your eyebrow, and then thwack 'em into tomorrow.

amyjane said... [reply]

Pah! I was going to bring up the whole palms to the floor thing. Also, you're not fat. Just in case you were trolling for compliments like my bratty skinny friend in Junion High. "I am SO obese. I just ate like 5 M&Ms! Oh my gosh!" Good luck with your cardiovascular pattern.

Nemesis said... [reply]

Amyjane, I'm not trolling for compliments. Promise. I know that I look fine and am lucky to be healthy and all of that. I'll just feel better when my clothes get back to fitting the way they should and when the scale at the gym loses the death wish and stops telling me big fat lies.

Jér said... [reply]

I did the Y-Be-Fit program, too, with pretty much the same results—except that I was both obese and overweight. Now I'm just pudgy and overweight, which I guess is an improvement.
One of the very few things I miss about BYU is the Dance Training Facility, which had all sorts of cool gadgets and toys that I got to use for free. It made working out fun.

Lizardbreath McGee said... [reply]

From my own personal experience, I've found that lighting scales on fire tends to reduce your weight by roughly 30%.

I'd keep using the strategy, but they don't allow me in the gym anymore.

blackjazz said... [reply]

Nemesis - you know we normally agree about things, but I really don't think what you've said about obesity is correct. No doubt some people who want to promote something or other may redefine obesity to be something different, like to do with muscle/fat ratios or whatever suits them, but that's not the normal definition. They're just trying to scare you to sell a product or service.

A person who is obese has a BMI (Body Mass Index) of 30 or more. A severely (morbidly) obese person has a BMI or 40 or more. To calculate your BMI you just divide your weight in kgs by the square of your height in metres. Notice that there's no reference to muscle/fat ratio? I admit it's a crude measure because it doesn't account for factors such as muscle/fat or frame size, but it's still the measure that's in general use.

I'm not saying you shouldn't exercise - I think everybody not in a PVS should! But don't believe you're obese.

The Craner Family said... [reply]

You look fabulous, and I am sure the scale is wrong if you are worried about it. You have inspired me to work out too. I am terrified to step on a scale. I hate those things.

BTW...I worked at Y-Be-Fit for a long time, and only 1 person that came in WASN'T in the obese range with the Bod Pod. And a lot of the people I was measuring were thin!

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