I hate everyone

My friend AuD is on a medical internship in Portland and emailed yesterday to say how things are going. Then he told me this story about an FHE activity the Young Single Adults just had. FHE stands for Family Home Evening, which is something all LDS families are encouraged to do on Monday nights to promote family time & togetherness. They make people in singles wards do it too even though we're not actual family. In the freakish wards they call the organizers of the groups to be "FHE Dads and Moms" or (my favorite) "Mas and Paas." And then they encourage us to date and make out with our dads & brothers, which makes for an odd dynamic, don't you think? That's why I prefer "FHE Group Leader," because it doesn't imply familial relations or incest. And there is no way I will stand in church and be announced as an "FHE Maaaa." I just won't. They'll change the name or I won't do it.

Anyway. His email.

I did have an experience that made me think of you and smile. For FHE we had a activity that would teach us communication. They told us to bring books that we wouldn't mind not going home with. So we get to the activity and we are told we cannot communicate in any fashion but we are to use the books to get across the gym. So people starting walking on books and tearing pages out of old dictionaries to walk on, etc. Upon seeing this I just had to smile as I pictured how you would respond as a librarian to the scene.

I can tell you right now how I would respond as a librarian to the scene:

Not. Well.

What on the earth does the destruction of books have to do with communication? And what if people were opposed to the idea of destroying books for no good reason, as I surely would have been? Next week is it going to be "bring a pet you wouldn't mind not going home with" and then you learn how they did sacrifices back in Moses' time?

Freaks. All freaks. I bet they call them "Mas" and "Pas" in that ward.


Janssen said... [reply]

That is the dumbest activity I've ever heard. What was the freaking point?

Also, I think FHE for single groups is usually LAAAME. My roommate and I made a game over who would go more in a semester, and I won by going THREE WHOLE TIMES.

Clearly, I'm a sinner.

kristen said... [reply]

We weren't encouraged to 'make-out' with anyone, as that could lead to other things and land us in the bish's office. Glad I was never an FHE mom.

But I am dumbfounded by that activity (read: book destroying). These idiots are probably too dumb to even read a book.

nomadic gnome said... [reply]

I was an FHE Mom at USU about 4 years ago. My "husband" was convinced that we were called together by divine inspiration and spent the entire semester awkwardly persuing Eternal Happiness. Needless to say, there was a Divorce after a few months of the FHE marriage. It was hard on the kids, but we got through.

So, you know. I can relate.

Lindsay said... [reply]

What the heck? That is the dumbest activity I've ever heard of. I thought at first, when he said that everyone was supposed to bring a book they wouldn't mind not going home with, I thought the evening would turn into some nice book swap or something - because that has the potential to be fun. But apparently he's a ward full of wackos. Good grief.

AuD said... [reply]

Yea! I made the blog. Okay I would rather it be for something better. The organizers of the activity told us they only expected us to walk on the books not tear the pages out. Which still doesn't make sense because some of the books were paperbacks which are still sitting at the church waiting for a home. So now you know what happens when a bunch of 20 something yr olds are left to their own devices when handed a book and told not to touch the floor while crossing the gym.

Squirrel Boy said... [reply]

What the crap? Did they decide this was more fun than just getting together and throwing the books on a bonfire?

Saxon said... [reply]

I'm so dumbfounded by that activity I can't think of any sort of funny comment to make

Nectar said... [reply]

Thanks for the clarification, AuD.

AmandaStretch said... [reply]

As a librarian and an FHE group leader (thank heavens I'm not a "Mom"), this activity makes me cringe. A LOT. Where did they even come up with that?

Sidenote - a bookswap sounds fun. I may have to borrow that idea, and try to find a book I can bear to part with. I try really hard to not have lame FHEs, and that's mostly worked out for us.

I'm still cringing inside.

April said... [reply]

Clearly the lesson they were going for was "Quit yer book learnin' and start makin' babies."

N.F. said... [reply]

That seems so stupid--on SO many levels.

N.F. said... [reply]

PS, HAHA April!

Sherry said... [reply]

I married my FHE dad. That sounds like a lame activity.

Sidenote- I also LOVE Horatio. Janssen got me hooked, and I have proceeded to hook my husband's family.

amyjane said... [reply]

What the CRAP!? And you kidding me? Ugh. Makes our five minute FHE's consisting of 10 primary songs and a story from the Friend look pretty dang good.

Jenny said... [reply]

HOLY. CRAP. Anytime I hear about the destruction of books I immediately think of Nazis and the Indiana Jones and the last crusade and how sick and wrong the world is. Also, I about died laughing when I read April's comment.

ALSO I bet those people in that group have mothers who burn Harry Potter books at the stroke of midnight. Freakshows.

Joe & Jeri said... [reply]

Even at its best, how could an activity with lots of singles walking on books teach communication?

"pet you wouldn't mind not going home with." That makes me laugh.

Natalie said... [reply]

Maybe it was supposed to be like the pbskids commercial where the kid reads a book and goes somewhere. But I think he goes to King Arthur's England, not the other side of the gym.

Oh, so very stupid!

scienceteachermommy said... [reply]

I was a "mom" once. I have never hated a calling so bad in my life. And "dad" was pretty scary.

abby said... [reply]

I was an FHE group leader and then dated a guy in my group who took over my co-leader position after I got released. So in FHE terms, I dated both my son and my dad. I must say FHE group leader was one of the most demanding callings I ever had. I was so relieved when it was over.

Lame activity by the way.

scienceteachermommy said... [reply]

One other comment about the whole book destruction thing. One of my student teaching assignments was a science fiction class and I was required to teach Fahrenheit 451.

To introduce the book I surveyed the class about all the things they'd rather be doing than being in class. We came up with quite an exciting list. Then I told them I agreed and what was the point of school (and especially a lit class) anyway? I told them their teacher had asked me to teach a book full of disturbing, thought-provoking ideas, but it just seemed like too much work. I pulled an old copy of the book right from the shelf, doused it with lighter fluid and burned it in a pan in the front of the room. (The polyester carpet melted in a tiny patch before we put it out.)

The class, of course, was in complete shock. One girl raised her hand and, with a deep curiosity she was trying desperately to mask said, "What is IN that book?"

Now THAT is education.

Jér said... [reply]

I just had to share the latest xkcd comic. After I read it, I sat there for a whole minute muttering imprecations under my breath. The unimaginable PAIN!

Nemesis said... [reply]

Just read it:



Bwah hahahahahahaaa

Thanks, Jer!

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