Taking a personal health day
And by personal, I mean mental.
Last night was freaking out about my life on the phone to my sister Jen (and before that to Amyjane and then later to my parents and then after that to God, so, busy night) and brainstorming about ways in which I could just give up full-time employment all together. Not sure what it says about my current state that this was my first solution. (I had just seen Juno, though.)
Me: I should just go get pregnant and married and then I could quit my job.
Jen: People don't marry whores, though.
I think she's broken through some sort of humor barrier lately. I'm really, really proud. Now if you'll excuse me, this whore is off to rethink her career goals. And find a baby daddy.
I'm Steph, a librarian and mom of 3 (not sure how that happened). Let's chat books, food, Sumptuous Literary Adaptations, poop, knitting and maybe some crazy Mormon Feminism.
20 comments:
Is he going to PAY you before you get pregnant? Otherwise, you are just doing what people do all the time so Jen, with every intention of cheering you up, is technically incorrect.
And if a baby daddy is all you are looking for, Nicole Kidman already is pregnant by world's hottest baby daddy. Sorry.
PS, Just checked the baby daddy link and nearly fell off the chair laughing. The judge did just award him custody though. . . . the Federline-Spears clan really puts the fun in dysfunctional.
Hey, I think K-Fed is a great baby daddy, although it would require you to make more money. He's a great baby daddy as long as you're bringing home the bacon (or paying the child support)
Whoa, for a just a second I thought you were putting him up as a candidate. And that was scary.
I say just marry Ioan. I'm sure his wife won't mind after she understands it's, um, for the common good.
That's really not going to solve anything...
Just be happy and grateful that you're awesome and everything will fall into place *hugs*
In commemoration of the start of another year of faithful and entertaining blogging, (24 years!) and to cheer Little Miss Nemesis up I suggest a game of Dear Santa.
It's easy. Pick a celebrity and then post their most recent letter to Santa. And possibly any updates on what they got.
Here are your choices:
Lance Armstrong,Al Gore,Brad Pitt,K-Fed,Brittney Spears,Jenny Craig,Mitt Romney,Hillary Clinton,Barack Obama,Marie Osmond,Kermit,Her Majesty the Queen of England,Her Majesty the Oprah of Winfrey,Captain Wentworth
For example:
Lance Armstrong.
Dear Santa, Please send me a longer and harder race. Like Tour de Equator.
Brittney.
Dear Santa, Please send me paparazzi.
Brittney.
Dear Santa, Please send my kids a Dad. And a Mom too.
I'm sure you can come up with some great ones. If not , put something else to cheer her up. Like cute and funny kittens!
Bwah-hah-hah!
So I have a son...What's your criteria? Not to do the baby daddy thing really. Maybe some laughs. Aren't people setting you up? Have you tried the internet? I'm a huge proponent of that. Am I too Jewish mother for you?
Well, K-Fed is available, and he seems to like having kids; at least impregnating and abandoning (the woman that is). So if that's all you're looking for....
When you are down in the dumps, just remember your dear sweet ex-roomie loves you Eugene...
...but please don't become a whore. Do you know how to be a whore? My little Eugene is growing up and becomeing a whore!
How did you like Juno? Loved it!
Sorry you're suffering a quarter-life crisis. I have them about once a month. It's pretty sad. And yet I do nothing to change things. I guess things aren't bad enough yet to evoke change. :) Good luck finding yourself! When you do find yourself, could you let me know if you found me in the same place?
OOO... I forgot to tell you! I have a baby daddy! I do!!! And a baby momma!!! Not many people can say that! I jokingly call Callie's bio dad my "Baby Daddy!" He fills the role well... he helped create her, pretends he wants to have something to do with her, and then never so much as calls! You don't want one of those ;)!
I think this all the time...man, if I were pregnant or had a baby I could just live on welfare and all my problems would be solved!
I'm trying so hard to keep my head above water, further my education, and don't work very much when I'm in school (because I'm a bad student like that)...can't get health insurance because I'm a cancer survivor and in school.
Then, when I'm at the grocery store last, I see a girl with her Coach bag using her food stamp money.
Yeah...
STM, I may have to argue the bit about Nicole's baby daddy being hottest. I like less cleavage on my men.
Yeah, Michael, I thought about that a little bit late. Sure, he could probably get me pregnant over the phone, but I wouldn't be able to quit working.
Chosha, I'm sure you're right. I'll start drafting a letter to them both.
Eva, thank you!
Frey, good idea! Perhaps there's a blog post there . . .
Hass, glad I can provide you with laughs. I know you feel me, though.
Mad Hadder, I'm sure you're lovely. And no, I haven't tried the Internet thing. Haven't ruled it completely out, but the filtering-through-the-psychos process might be the equivalent of a part-time job.
Kristen, yeah, that plan needs some rethinking.
Audra, is that from Riding in Cars with Boys? I have a vision of Brittany Murphy saying that right now. Also, bwah hah hahahah!
Towr, I thought Juno was great. Laughed, cried, all of that. Am now fighting urge to buy soundtrack. And yes, if I get any revelation about what your life path should be I'll be sure to pass it on. :-)
Ugh, Audra. Callie's lucky she has Levi for a daddy and doesn't have to rely on the BD.
Yeah, N.F. Life isn't fair. And I know you didn't mean to but your comment reminded me that I should just stop whining already because I actually have it pretty good.
I was going to add a comment that you're doing fine....because at least you're not 35 yet!
;)
Is Keith Urban fat? Short, yes. But cleavage?
STM, it's the shirts. He wears those shirts. Like here. And here.
I agree, the second photo is pretty bad. In fact, I found a blog where somebody had done a made up interchange between he and Nicole about the "shirt" he had chosen to wear to the Grammys. The shaved chest thing is always funny. Still, the rebel without a cause look and the musician thing is hard for me to resist. And the shaggy hair. And he's an Aussie. Okay, I'm done.
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