2.01.2008

During which experience I mentally composed many strongly worded letters to both my landlord and the City of L****

Let's play the numbers game, shall we?

90: Minutes spent between my back door and my workplace this morning.

40: Approximate length, in feet, of driveway.

7: Inches of unshoveled snow in said driveway.

30: Number of feet I successfully backed up before becoming irreparably stuck.

84: Minutes spent trying to get out of my driveway.

3: Shovels used in the attempt.

800: Calories burned.

4: Curse words muttered silently.

1: Curse word bellowed loudly.

8: Handfuls of pebble-like bulb fertilizer used in an attempt to increase traction, since I had neither gravel nor sand nor real pebbles.

14: Number of cute woodland creatures who will likely die now from fertilizer poisoning.

1: BBC World Global News update heard in car as I tried unsuccessfully to back up, move forward, or go pretty much anywhere.

6: The circle of hell I will be relegated to for briefly thinking, "Whatever, Kenya. You don't even have snow."

1: Gallant friend who drove out to help me.

10: Seconds spent stuck after I made it out of the driveway and onto the unplowed street. Which is where the out-loud swear made its appearance.

2: Minutes spent during the drive to work listening to Intern George report on the UN Peacekeeping efforts in Darfur, wherein he healed me with his voice.

15 comments:

Frey said... [reply]

4: Times I laughed out loud at 84: Minutes spent trying to get out of my driveway.

So it was only six minutes to work? If your landlord isn't going to plow, at least he should provide apartment snowshoes. You could have made it in half the time.

Here's my contribution:

12: Miles put on the odometer before reaching the street due to spinning out.

TheMoncurs said... [reply]

Ah, Intern George. He has the cure for what ails everything.

Yankee Girl said... [reply]

Not to rub it in or anything, but my father makes all of us drive around with a bag of sand in our trunk just for these types of occasions. Hope your drive home is uneventful and that you have some fabulous hot chocolate, British chocolate, or other such treat (the unexpected arrival of Ioan) waiting for you at home.

Miss Hass said... [reply]

Ugh. How annoying.

I miss my landlord in Massachusetts. He would snow blow the driveway before my roommate left for work. At 7 am. I didn't even care that it was noisy.

Cicada said... [reply]

60: minutes I spent napping in my carpool while someone else drove me to work.

Suddenly I don't mind carpooling or bad road conditions!

miranda said... [reply]

60: minutes i spent shoveling snow last night.

60: minutes my husband spent shoveling snow this morning.

I apparently wasted my time last night trying to be helpful. Will it ever stop snowing? May the groundhog predict spring tomorrow...

Nemesis said... [reply]

Frey, your contribution is most apt. Am pretty sure I have much less gas in the car right now.

Moncurs, yes. It really helped a lot this morning.

Yankee girl, that's a good idea. Although I don't know if the sand would have even helped this morning. It was just bizarre. And yes, I could quite do with some Ioan for dessert tonight.

Yeah, don't even get me started on my landlord, Hass. There are so very many things wrong there.

Cicada, I'm glad you can find a silver lining in your commute!

Miranda, I know! I really don't mind the snow as long as I'm not getting stuck or dying and being eaten by wild animals in it.

Jon Boy said... [reply]

Actually, having a bad of sand or salt in your trunk doesn't help with traction unless you're in a rear-wheel-drive car (which most people aren't nowadays), because the car benefits from having extra weight over the driving wheels. You can still put sand under your wheels to try to get more traction, but I'm not sure how much that helps.

Science Teacher Mommy said... [reply]

I had a day like that once a couple of years ago when I lived in the Village. Some guy from the university came down with his huge truck and hooked a homemade grappling hook to the Civic's bumper. Just as he starts pulling, he says, "Since it isn't university hours and I don't have a university truck, if anything happens to your car I'm really not responsible." Uh. . . okay. I let him pull the car out; I was already 10 minutes late for my first class and, apparently, you only get a snow day in CCSD if the school bus' headlights are buried.

Good times.

Scallywag has had school cancelled three times in three weeks for ICY ROADS.

Lippy said... [reply]

Whew, you're a trooper. I know way too many people who would have called it a day after the 10th tire spin. Good for you.

I hate winter, Nem!!!!!

April said... [reply]

You only cursed five times?? Way to go, you! I'm quite proud of you. I'd have ended up sounding like a veteran sailor long before the car was finally unstuck!

Uh, my word verification is "wesbion." Is it calling me a lesbian? With a lisp??

Saxon said... [reply]

we've hardly had any snow. We just had a really light flurry that disappeared very quickly come morning.

It's hard to remember what deep snow was like!

EmAndTrev said... [reply]

Countless: Number of times I thought of your blog post when my hubby and I got stuck ourselves on Friday night. It took an hour to get out. For some reason, your sixth degree of hell comment is standing out in my mind...

Katie said... [reply]

Kenya = hilarious

jeri said... [reply]

Somehow our neighbor drove into a giant pile of freshly-plowed snow and just left his car there. Until it all iced over and he was stuck there until Spring. Or until he came over and made my husband pull him out with the truck. Sometimes I think we only own a truck for other people's benefit.

I like the winter, but I don't so much miss the winter in L****. I remember scraping off the windsheield in -14 degree weather, then driving 3 blocks just to get out and scrape it all over again.

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