And the Schrute Bucks go to . . .

First off, I can't believe people actually took the time yesterday to write poetry about the fluid-filled sacs accumulating on my body. You are true friends. Secondly, I couldn't believe how dang clever my true friends are. Or how good they are at memorizing the work of Shel Silverstein.

This was a hard, hard choice. But I must declare a tie for first place between Mad Hadder and Before. Mad Hadder secured my love forever with "To assist with your fist /Seek a right wing with grist." And Before managed, with perfect meter, to tap into not one but two of my secret anti-feminist fantasies. Well done to both of you!

Note: This was posted before I read Cicada's brand-new contribution and started hyperventilating at my desk. Even if she did call me a whore.

So now it's a three-way tie, yipeee!