Have lots of ideas now of where NOT to build my house

Visited L**** last weekend and had an illuminating sing-along session with GH's 5-yr-old nephew. He learned "The Wise Man Built His House upon the Rock" in Primary and sang it for us. We didn't film him singing it (tragic) but here's a different cute Internet kid giving it his all. (I couldn't get the computer to just embed the flipping link. Will be pouring Tang inside said computer later while laughing maniacally.)

Anyway, so the sweet nephew is singing and does the verse about the Wise Man and his house and how it stood still, and then the verse about the Foolish Man and how his washed away, as it will do. He has a speech impediment that makes the song extra cute, so just imagine a kid singing & talking with a cold and you'll be close.

What we didn't know is that there are apparently other characters in the song too. There was Chopper Man, who built his house in the forest. His house stayed safe. But Builder Man, he built his house in the road. Because, as we were told, he listened to Satan (Say-ted). And during the song his house got run over by a truck. Which, come to think of it, is what would happen to one who heeded Satan's enticements and built his house on a freeway. There was another guy who built his house on the sidewalk, and another one who built in the jungle. We are told that he can keep going indefinitely, creating characters whose homes are about to come to a messy end.

Here are a few I would like to suggest to him, I think:

Octo Man, who built his house in the sea.

Fire Man, who built his house on a volcano.

Duck Man, who built his house in a pond.

Turtle Man, who already HAS a house attached to his back, Suckahs!

Utah Man, who built a house that was too big for his income and the bank came and took it.

White Trash Man, who did not so much build a house but instead moved into my apartment complex and started having outdoor fights with his wife and yelling at his children while somehow magically sending all his cigarette smoke into my apartment.

Oooooh, the rains came down and the floo-oods came up . . .