We must be getting into the third trimester
Because hoo boy.
1. I am super hot and sweaty and stinky all the time. This has resulted in a new game I like to call Tearing Off My Clothes the Second I Get Home From Work and Making Dinner in My Underwear. If I Even Make Dinner, Which, Don't Count on It. Except then one time I had to up the ante and move on to Making Dinner Completely Topless. GH wants to know how he missed that. Apparently I do everything good when he's not around.
2. I took a walk during my lunch break to drop a letter off in a local mail box. It took about 4 hours to get to the mail box and back. Realized I was waddling. Slowly. This didn't seem to have anything to do with pelvis changes, more to do with the part where I'm convinced my bladder is going to drop out at any second. That'll make ya walk careful.
3. The two cute maternity dresses my sister Jenny lent me are not working out, as they take great delight in hiking up well past my knees every time I move. And, unlike some people, I don't actually wish to use my white temple garments as free leggings. (Feel the shame, some people.) So that's not going to work, really. I spent the entire drive to the temple last week with my skirt hiked up around my waist, bellowing about how I look like a slut-whore. This, I find, really gets you into the temple spirit. Yes it does. Felt much better once I got inside and changed into a nice white mummu from the clothing rental ladies. I love them. Them, and air conditioning.
I'm Steph, a librarian and mom of 3 (not sure how that happened). Let's chat books, food, Sumptuous Literary Adaptations, poop, knitting and maybe some crazy Mormon Feminism.
15 comments:
You are hilarious. That is all.
Ah yes, I too strip down the moment I get home. And watching me get ready is seriously hot. Maternity pants and a bra...nothing sexier. Woo!
Seriously? People in Utah are letting their garments show like leggings? Ugh, ugh, ugh. It was bad enough that garment-wearing people think it's OK to wear miniskirts with leggings.
Also, I practically do that strip-down-and-cook thing now. I am in so much trouble when I'm pregnant in the future. Where do you go from there? Cook naked with a fan blowing on you? Doesn't sound like a great idea to me, because how will I fry bacon in the nude with a giant belly and a fan?
Love the temple muumuus. They make me feel like that giant woman in the Nutcracker with all the kids under her skirt.
The temple's a great place to get clothes that make you just not care about what figure is underneath those robes. It's awesome.
Our electricity bill this summer has been impressive, thanks to my insistence that 72 is the perfect indoor temperature. And I sleep with a fan on.
Awesome.
Wash your mouth out with soap!
Just don't try to have your baby in the temple.
I am sorry you have a sister who wears such slutty maternity clothes. You should find some better influences.
SO. TRUE. I might have read this post outloud to my husband, who is convinced there is something horribly wrong with me because I am HOT. ALL. THE. TIME (thanks, Third Trimester). At least he knows now that I am not the only one. :-)
@ Audrey: Please, I beg you, do not try frying bacon in the nude, pregnant belly or not...just trust me. :-)
Hilarious. My first child was born at the beginning of August in a year when Utah set a record for having most consecutive days with temperatures over a hundred degrees. I quit my job a few weeks before my due date and spent all my time huddled in front of our little window a/c unit reading books. I didn't dare go outside because I would swell up like a balloon.
Oh, and finally after having my third kid I've discovered the magic of Kid to Kid for both baby clothes and maternity stuff. The prices are comparable to places like DI and Savers, but the quality is much better. Each store is a franchise so some are better than others (Provo is kind of ghetto), but it's a great place to get quality clothes for cheap.
Sorry for sounding like an advertisement...
I laughed out loud. Very funny...
Women who say pregnancy is beautiful and magical also believe in pink fairys and ponys. You are hot, stinky, achy, swollen, sleepy... etc. etc. And in my last pregnancy I needed my gall bladder out, so that did not help my "rosy" view of pregnancy either. And I have found I turn into my sister, when she was done having kids she would do the "nanny nanny boo boo... I dont have to be pregnant anymore and look at you all miserable". I said I would never do that... but alas... I have found myself saying it. So to you my Eugene: Nanny Nanny Boo Boo.... ;)
(also when my SIL changes diapers... I sing "All my kids are potty trained"... yes, I am that annoying and cruel)
It's true that pregnant women have a glow about them. It's just that in the 3rd trimester it's sweat providing the sheen.
Am also laughing very hard at the idea that any woman in garments could look like a slut-whore, let alone said woman in her third trimester. :) Your posts keep me chuckling all day.
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