Good thing I had my Bubble of Peace going
Here follows a conversation between me and the girl at the grocery store checkout counter.
Girl, nodding at my massive belly: So how long do you have left?
Me: About two weeks or so.
Girl: Yeah, I just did that 7 weeks ago.
Me: Oh wow, you look great. Congratulations, did you have a boy or girl?
Girl: A girl.
Me: I'm having a boy.
Girl: Is it your first?
Me: Yep.
Girl: . . . oh.
Me: What?
Girl: Oh, it's just that first births seem like they're the hardest ones. At least for everyone I've talked to. And for me. This second one was easy. The first one was really hard.
Me: You know what? I take it back. You look way fat.
Except that last part was just in my mind. In real life I smiled vaguely and moved on. But seriously, why would somebody say that--how is that meant to be helpful or encouraging?
In other news, I did my hair this morning so that I can take a 38-weeks picture to post up here. So check back for that. I took one last week but didn't post it--I was convinced that my fat face was a trick of the light and would totally go away if I tried again later. Except . . . yeah. That might actually be my real face (read: chins).
I'm Steph, a librarian and mom of 3 (not sure how that happened). Let's chat books, food, Sumptuous Literary Adaptations, poop, knitting and maybe some crazy Mormon Feminism.
8 comments:
I honestly think my first was easier than my second, but only because the epidural was better. The second time around it only worked for half of my body the majority of the time. I had a pain free uneventful experience the first time. No complaints at all. I just think every birth is different and saying that the first is hardest is weird. The only thing I think would would be right about that would be to say that labor usually is shorter for the second child and probably others after that as well.
I had my first in January and it went really well. Very routine. It does happen. =)
Unfortunately for you, statistical evidence says that she may be right.
Unfortunately for HER, she is a tactless, unhelpful, meanie-head.
Hang in there. As my mom is fond of saying, "all babies come out." And I for one can't wait to see what kind of cute your baby turns out to be!
Just talked to a friend yesterday who has a nearly three-week-old boy (her first). From the sounds of it, her birth experience wasn't all that bad. I think they were in the hospital for, I don't know, around five hours before the baby was born--not that bad. She actually just kept saying it was amazing and how much she loved being a mom and stuff. It all went really well. That was nice to hear. :)
Ugh-ignore people like that! My first didn't exactly go as planned, but everything was fine and absolutely worth it. I'm so, so excited for you!
Appropriate responses upon learning that someone is having her first child:
How exciting!
Congratulations!
Good luck!
Not-as-appropriate responses:
Brace yourself for the worst pain imaginable.
Have you considered an elective c-section?
Don't worry. Women hardly ever die in childbirth anymore.
Ugh. The insensitivity.
It's pretty much impossible to generalize about the birth experience like that because everyone is different. My SIL's first had her in labor for around 14 hours, but only pushing for ten minutes. Delivery was the easiest part of that pregnancy.
Does that mean it will happen that way with you? No. It might, but you are not my SIL. No matter what anyone else tells you, it will be your experience.
Yes, there are commonalities in births, labors, and deliveries, but your labor will be yours alone. So don't worry about what stupid nincompoops in the checkout line say.
My first was an induction and although there was some pain, I then had an epidural and the doctor waited until after it before starting pitocin.
And, the labor was only about 7 hours total. So don't believe those horror stories that some women tell. they just aren't true all the time.
You will be just fine.
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