Yep, still pregnant

I was not in my best frame of mind this past Sunday at church, as evidenced by the following:

Sunday School teacher, to class: "Can anyone tell me how President Hinckley used to close every General Conference meeting?"

Me, whispering: "Early."

I thought I was whispering, but my whisper might be louder than I think it is. Only whatever. I had a baby butt trying to fight its way out of my side. The teacher was making a point about optimism, and how President Hinckley was not a doom & gloom kind of a guy and so we should follow his example by focusing on the wonderful things we have and which are yet to come. He's absolutely right.

But then, so was I.

Have decided that it's unfortunate moving into a new ward at the end of a pregnancy. Because then that's all anyone really knows about you. "Oh, she's pregnant." And that's all they ask about when they try to make conversation--conversations which have generally gone like this.

Very Sweet Compassionate Service Lady Whose Job It Will Be to Assign People to Come Bring Me Meals After the Birth if I Should Need Them So It's No Wonder That She Wants to Be Able to Keep Tabs on Things: So . . . have they given you a date?

Me: Yep, my due date is December 1st, so it should be sometime around there.

CSL: Oh, so you don't know the actual date?

Me: Well. . . no. Just the due date.

CSL: Oh, I asked because the other two pregnant gals already have their dates scheduled. So wow, I guess you'll just . . . go when you go, huh?

Me: That's . . . the plan, yeah. But you did give me your phone number, so I promise I'll call you when anything happens.

Told GH about this later and he said he'd just had a similar conversation with someone at church:

Elders Quorum Guy: So, when's your wife due?

GH: Around the end of the month, so it could be any day now.

(Note: This was back when GH was confident that this would be a November baby. I guess I've pretty well shown HIM! Hah. Hahahahaha. Sigh . . . . )

EQG: Oh, you don't have it scheduled?

GH: Um . . . no?

Me: Have WHAT scheduled? What is this scheduling everyone is talking about???

Only then I remembered about scheduled C-sections, and scheduled inductions, and all that. Which, apparently, is big here. And I know a lot of people have really good reasons why they have to do things that way. But yeah, there's really no medical reason why I should have anything scheduled. So it's funny to feel like the one weird chick who's just . . . waiting to go into labor. Like a pioneer, or pot-smoking hippie.

Which brings us to this past Sunday where, you'll remember, I was just really not in the mood.

CSL, checking in: Hi, how are you doing?

Me: Still pregnant. Thanks.

CSL: Right . . . so have your doctors given you any predictions? Do they think you'll go soon?

Me: Nope, no predictions, just the due date. Still have your phone number, though, thanks!

Poor lady, I know she was just trying to be nice. Which is why I did not answer her with "Nope, and I didn't even ask them to check. I figure since everything down there already feels like it's going to fall out I'd just do myself a favor and NOT add a speculum to the mix."


Liz Johnson said... [reply]

Just tell them that you're having your baby alone with your husband in the mountains, far away from healthcare and "those pesky doctors." Then people will stop talking to you, and just start talking about you. In my experience, that was a step up.

goddessdivine said... [reply]

How insensitive of you. Can't you see that CSL was trying to coordinate meals? The least you could do would be to schedule that birth so you don't interrupt the lives of others.


Janssen said... [reply]

Yeah, living in Boston where they didn't even talk about induction until you were a week overdue made all my Utah family insane. "But. . but, WHY haven't they scheduled it?!"

abby said... [reply]

I guess natural childbirth is lost on these people.

Meg said... [reply]

Yeah-- I've been pretty weirded out too by all the scheduling going on. I thought that would be the exception but it's definitely the rule. (I guess if you are planning to be numb from the waist down anyway, you don't care so much when they start pumping you full of pitocin.) :)

Ana said... [reply]

Oh I think I just about peed myself laughing at your post - and then I read the COMMENTS! (LOOOOOOVE Liz Johnson's comment and goddessdivine)

Bizarre people!

You could always tell your CSL "Oh! I think my waters may have just broke - er, could you check for me?"
And just let the conversation develop from there....or...not :P

Ken, Serena and Emilia said... [reply]

You're hilarious! I believe the scheduling thing is WAY over done here. Love Liz Johnson's comment.
I don't have a due date - I have a guess date. Because, really, Doc, YOU'RE more qualified to say when I should have this baby than, oh, I don't know... MY BABY or... MY BODY! Hang in there! He's on his way soon! :)

brinestone said... [reply]

There is something seriously wrong with the world (or at least Utah) today. Holy smokes.

Anonymous said... [reply]

Thanks for the update - I was wondering! Keep us posted - I can't wait to see that baby boy. You will post pics, right???

Hang in there. Pregnancy sucks

Maleen said... [reply]

What is really fun is when you go a week past your due date waiting for your darling (read: stubborn) child to make an appearance. You get lots of fun comments from people. I almost didn't go to church the Sunday past my due date. If I had been in a new ward...home would have sounded mighty good.

Ashley Miller said... [reply]

It's not just a Utah thing. We moved to New Jersey in August. I was 7 months pregnant, and I can't tell you how many people asked if I was scheduled. My doc planned an induction for a few days past my due date for various reasons, but happily, baby came on his own three days before my due date. My doc was also out of town that weekend and the guy on call was convinced I'd be begging for an epidural. "Everyone gets one," he said. Ha. Showed him. Your body knows best. Good luck!

Lady Steed said... [reply]

I suppose it wouldn't help to remind CSL that the 'E' in EDD stands for 'estimated'.

JustMe said... [reply]

Having been both a pioneer and a pot smoking hippie - I vote you go for the latter. Its way more fun and easier

Lisa said... [reply]

Imagine the weirdness I get when people find out I had my last baby at a birth center, with midwives (shocking I know) and baby boy was a water birth (shock and horror). Good luck to you!

Cali said... [reply]

So where are you living now? Down in UT county?

Anonymous said... [reply]

My advice is to skip church next week. That way you won't have to clench your fists every time someone says something stupid (like asking when the baby is coming out or telling you about their labor story). That means you should probably avoid the grocery store and the mall and work too...

Science Teacher Mommy said... [reply]

40 weeks is an AVERAGE. Some of us push that average up. 2 of my three babies were more than a week late. Hang in there lass.

april said... [reply]

all these scheduled inductions are unheard of here in the northeast. i have yet to hear of a doctor scheduling a woman for induction on her due date just because she would like to have the baby. i won't share anymore stories of how long friends have had to wait here since you are actually 9 + months pregnant and need that baby out of you.

loved the voldemort post!!! actually got caught up on quite a few posts and laughed a ton. pregnancy sure makes your writing witty. (i'll choose "witty" over "sarcastic" since again you are 9+ months prego. unless of course you are at the hospital right now having that baby. here's hoping!)

Mrs. Clark said... [reply]

Love this post! I ignored due dates and figured my own--I got it on the nose two out of three times, 40 weeks to the day after I figured I got pregnant, and the middle one--born without drugs of any kind--was three days early on my estimate. Don't succumb to this stuff--the baby will come when he's ready, even if it is long after you are.

emandtrev said... [reply]

Some of my friends (outside of Utah too, for the record) canNOT believe that my doctor wouldn't schedule the second ultrasound anytime before 20 weeks. It's like there's always such a rush to do absolutely everything.

I'm pretty behind checking blogs, but I'll say hang in there nonetheless!

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