Oh . . . January. How thou dost suck.

I think the Februaries may be starting early this year. I'm already losing my mind and turning into some kind of cave witch. Unfortunately, a vacation doesn't appear to be in the cards because I just gave all my money to Intermountain Health Care in exchange for delivering my baby and breaking my bladder. It's amazing the rent they charge for those clear plastic shoe boxes the babies sleep in.

Other weighty winter thoughts:

I just discovered a reason to consider shaving my legs. Turns out if your leg hair gets too long it might get snagged in the fiber of your jeans somehow and then you will think a hobo spider crawled up your pants leg and bit your calf and now you are going to die and it's really too bad because you never did get that vacation. This could happen several times.

I'm trying to finish this infinity scarf before the winter is over. (Except I shouldn't worry because it will never, ever be over.) Isn't it pretty? It's 100% wool so I hope it doesn't turn out to be too warm to wear.

I could eat little Loki to pieces. He basically just waits for people to make eye contact so he can light up and try to express with his whole body just how delightful he finds whoever is looking at him. Last night I spent hours getting him to sleep and finally laid him down around 11:30pm, and of course 15 minutes later, just as I was falling asleep, he woke up and started crying. I got him up and began a stern lecture about his inconsiderate choices, but he just looked up at me and laughed and laughed as though this was the best moment we've ever shared, ever. And even though my back and shoulder were dying from holding him and I will probably walk like an orc forever, he was being so stinking cute that it kind of was.

Cool dude. NOT cool dud.

The Dark Lord, since he turned 3 a few weeks before January 1st, is now out of our ward's nursery and in Primary. I worried a little about him because he's the youngest in his Sunbeam class, and hoped he wouldn't have a hard time adjusting to the change and having to sit still for so long. But he seems to be fine. When we drop him off he's like, "Uh, bye now . . . " He loves to sing and catches on pretty quickly, and apparently this year they are learning a song about gender roles. So that's . . . special. (And by "special" I mean " . . . really?")

With all the aunts and uncles and cousins he has,
TDL gets birthday cake like once a week.
He decided he was done with his crib last week, about the same day I decided I was done listening to him break his crib. So now he's in a twin bed and is having a merry time dropping his binky and Cow between the wall and the bed so that I have to move the heavy wooden bed frame in order to retrieve them. And yes, he still has the binky when he sleeps. I haven't had the heart to chuck it (he had a cold this last week) but I will soon. Like maybe tonight, the next time he drops it behind the bed. Depending on how cranky I am I just might retrieve the thing, march it into the bathroom and flush it down the toilet while he watches, and then put in a pair of earplugs. Also set up some sort of automatic savings transfer to pay for the therapy bills later.

January, friends. January.


Rachael said... [reply]

There is a special kind of tired reserved for moms with infants and toddlers ay the same time.

Rachael said... [reply]

P.s. children adorable, handknits exquisite, etc. I meant to include that but man, I'm tired.

abby said... [reply]

That's one interesting primary song they are learning. I hate to know how the kids without a mom or dad feel about it.

Nemesis said... [reply]

Rachael, you know it.

Nemesis said... [reply]

Abby, right?? Plus I kind of don't want my three-year-old being told what my "place" is. Even if I'm overreacting, I still don't like it.

brinestone said... [reply]

I hate the word "place" in that song and the word "purpose." Actually, the whole song is kind of terrible, musically, poetically, and even kind of doctrinally. Ugh. I'm kind of glad I'm not the primary chorister anymore or I might have had to talk to the primary president about how strongly she felt about doing that song.

brinestone said... [reply]

And apparently I hedge everything with "kind of." Sorry about that. Edit out two of them, your choice.

Nemesis said... [reply]

Brinestone, word to all of that--even the kind ofs!

Liz Johnson said... [reply]

I want to transpose that song into a horrible minor key so that it sounds as creepy when sung as it does when the words enter my brain.

I'm glad that I'm moving so that I don't have to put up with playing it 168 times per Sunday until the kids learn it. It also makes me want to go inactive this year. UGGGGGGHHHHHHH I HATE THAT SONG.

But your children are adorable, and I'm with Rachael - there's a special kind of tired. I wish it came with a special kind of chocolate and/or magic wand or something.

Kelly said... [reply]

This year's Primary theme has made me so happy I'm not in Primary anymore. That song is horrendous.

Love the scarf and little Loki! You make cute things!

Flashlight Girl said... [reply]

Just wondering how you feel about The Family: a proclamation to the world. . . Cuz the song lyrics are pretty much taken from that. Just wondering. . .

Nemesis said... [reply]

Hi Flashlight Girl, welcome! My feelings about The Family: a Proclamation to the World is that I think most of it is wonderful and inspiring. I do wonder if the bits about men and women's roles are possibly more a reflection of our culture than of "divine design." Some of the language is contradictory (how can spouses be equal partners if one presides over the other?) but I think that's not surprising given the number of authors. Since it is not canonized scripture, I don't feel too bad about not loving 100% of it. That was a really long-winded answer, thanks for slogging through!

Nemesis said... [reply]

Kelly, you are right. I mean, even as a poem it's pretty awkward, to say nothing of the message. Need to go listen to see if the music is pretty or not.

Nemesis said... [reply]

Wait. Liz, you are moving??? Didn't you just barely buy a house? Clearly I need to go get caught up on your blog.

Liz Johnson said... [reply]

Ha! Yes. And yes. It's ridiculous.

Flashlight Girl said... [reply]

Perhaps you should study what it really means to preside. It isn't a power over another kind of thing. Responsiblities are not a bad thing. D&C 121 spells that out pretty well. Also, it is scripture. It may not be listed as a new section of the D&C or anything, but when it is published and promoted the way it has been, it's considered doctrine of the Church. Maybe that's a bit uncomfortable for a few people, but nonetheless, it's here to stay. Good luck with January and February and hopefully March will get here fast! :)

Jenny said... [reply]

That song is LAME.

The baby is adorable. We are also doing the exact same thing over here at 11:30 pm. I find myself thinking 'don't make eye contact, don't make eye contact' and then I feel guilty.

Jenny said... [reply]

I think it's stupid to spend an entire year focusing on a nuclear family in Primary and gender roles when there is Jesus to be talking about. And the Atonement. Which like none of us really get anyway and children need to be hearing that.

Is it doctrine for my husband to be in charge of family prayer? Dumbest song ever. Also, everyone knows when talking about family and singing about family to be sensitive to all the children in dysfunctional, abusive and non nuclear living situations.

Having to sing about what they don't have doesn't teach them to grow up and have it, it just makes them feel terrible every Sunday.

Also, a song about having my husband preside over family prayer sounds like some creepy propaganda. I think spending an entire year on this in Primary is overkill and reeks of political agenda.

Nemesis said... [reply]

Flashlight Girl, I cannot WAIT for March! Thank you for commiserating. I don't know where you live, but I hope it's not too cold.

About the "doctrine/scripture" issue, I thought the same thing you do until I came across this. "What is 'Official' LDS Doctrine?"

I was happy to read it, but then maybe that's just me looking for an out! :-)

Sherry said... [reply]

I'm just glad my kid will be learning that song at age 3 (Also a December birthday. Also loving Primary), so he won't remember it years from now. He wont, right?

Missy W. said... [reply]

Dear Nemesis,
Thank you for that link. I'm going to start linking to it when people bug me about the doctrine of "wearing pantyhose" and "no sleepovers for kids". I'm only half joking. It's people who get all dogmatic about random utterances from "my cousin's, mission companion's stake president" that make me all twitchy.

Missy W. said... [reply]

and that song sucks.

Nemesis said... [reply]

Sherry, let's just hope they don't trot it out every 5 years...

Nemesis said... [reply]

Missy W., here's even more back-up if you ever need it!

"The only way I know of by which the teachings of any person or group may become binding upon the church is if the teachings have been reviewed by all the brethren, submitted to the highest councils of the church, and then approved by the whole body of the church. . . . Again, we are only bound by the four standard works and are not required to defend what any man or woman says outside of them."
-Hugh B Brown (“An Abundant Life”, p.124)

"The only one authorized to bring forth any new doctrine is the President of the Church, who, when he does, will declare it as revelation from God, and it will be so accepted by the Council of the Twelve and sustained by the body of the Church."
-Harold B. Lee ("The First Area General Conference for Germany, Austria, Holland, Italy, Switzerland, France, Belgium, and Spain of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, held in Munich Germany, August 24–26, 1973, with Reports and Discourses, 69.)

sarah said... [reply]

Totally didn't know about the new song. Kind of glad I'm not teaching music in primary this year.

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