The second time around

Jenny and I after her birthday pedicure.
She is 22 weeks pregnant, I am 24.

One nice thing about preparing for Baby #2 is that there isn't as much stuff to buy, because you already went through that whole mess once before.

With Baby #1 you're like, "Oh my gosh I need to get an infant carseat and a non-infant carseat and a stroller and a crib and sheets and clothes and all the medicines and shampoos and lotions and ear thermometers and rectal thermometers and two different kinds of nipple pads and also dye-and-fragrance-free laundry detergent and and and and and and and and . . . "

Baby #2? "Enh, I've got a Pack 'n Play and they have diapers down the road at the grocery store. I'm probably good. Now, where did that ice cream go?"

I was straightening up a bit today in the guest room/Baby #2 room this morning. It has become the dumping place for All Things Baby, so I went through the bins and bags and tried to get a handle on things. It was a good time. I found baby clothes and burp clothes that had been packed away years ago with baby vomit and baby boogers still on them. I found the bag with all the accessories belonging to Gator the Breast Pump and my eye started twitching. I found teeny tiny newborn socks and just about died at the cuteness and even though I've seen it it's still hard to believe anyone's feet can be so small.

When I was on Amazon later today I thought I'd be smart and order a few things to save myself from having to remember to buy them at the store later. So I got newborn pacifiers and a bottle brush and a few things like that. Remembered that I'd created a Google spreadsheet before the Tiny Dark Lord was born where I'd made a list of all the things I needed to buy, so I opened it and scanned through to see what I might need replacements of. (Is gripe water still good after 3 years?)

It was kind of fun scanning through the list and remembering what it was like trying to prepare for parenthood, and thinking about some of the adventures I've had with those items. (Rectal thermometer? Still unopened. Nasal bulb aspirator? I went through three of those things and they were all crap. Order the Nosefrida instead, then send me some real or imaginary chocolate as a thank you.)

The real fun happened, though, when I scrolled down and saw my hospital packing list, which I curated very carefully after reading the Internet. Here is what was on it:

iPods w/Hypnobabies scripts, charger
birth ball
toiletries
chapstick
sleep mask
warm socks
birth plan
snacks
brownies for the nurses
swim suit

That's not even a long list but oh, how I laughed. I laugh-ed. Let's take a look, shall we?

iPods w/Hypnobabies scripts, charger: Still happening. In fact, my iPhone is probably the only item that for sure needs to be in my bag.

Birth Ball--may still bring it, just in case I want to bounce on something to speed labor up. Or if I need something to throw at people that won't hurt them but will definitely get their attention. If I want to hurt anyone I'm sure there will be things already in the room that I can use.

Chapstick: Don't know how this warrants its own mention on a list, nor do I remember having any urgent lip balm needs. But I guess if it comes up there will probably be a stick somewhere in the bottom of my makeup bag or in my purse. Or I can just tell a nurse to put some Vaseline on my lips.

Sleep mask: Seriously? Was that for people who share rooms or something? My privilege and I will be in a private room, all Kardashian-style. Or maybe it's for people who can't nap during the day when it's light. Except that's how napping works.

Toiletries--Yes. And this time I hope to actually use the things instead of lying there like an exsanguinated corpse for days and then finally getting enough energy to take my first post-birth shower minutes before the nurses shoved me out the hospital door with wet hair. Cross fingers!

Warm socks--They have them there, and then if you bleed and/or lose bladder control all over them, they can be thrown away. By nurses.

Snacks--Also there at the nurse's station. Pudding packs, I'm coming for you . . .

Birth plan--Will still bring one just in case. It could probably stand to be a lot shorter.

Brownies for nurses--This was a suggestion by the Hypnobabies people, and I think it's a good one. If you don't want to spend a few minutes doing a brownie mix before going to the hospital, just grabbing something yummy you've set aside from Costco is still a nice gesture, I think.

Swim suit--BAH HAHAH HAHAHAHA. Biggest laugh of all. Don't ask how that ended up on the list. Maybe it was a side-effect of watching so many videos where the moms labored in birth pools while wearing sports bras or swimsuit tops because, you know, they were being filmed. But seriously, I think a fun thing to do would be to suggest that a laboring woman stuff herself into a swimsuit. And maybe turn a few cartwheels while she's at it. You'll likely hear some new swears and maybe suffer death.

Anybody else have any 2nd-time around wisdom to add?