3.05.2006

The best gift ever

So I forgot to tell The Internet about this when I found it, but it's too good not to share. Back before Valentine's Day, I looked around online trying to think of good "guy gift" ideas for WR, and I came across the CATGee Home-DNA Kit (to see it, scroll down to the very bottom of the menu--it should be the last item).

Here's what the description says:

CATGee Home-DNA Kit

Store it indefinitely and in complete safety.

In no time you'll be giving CATGee to your friends, your family and those you love.

Its on course to become the craze of the decade.

CATGee arrives in an elegant brushed alloy container, no bigger than a DVD case.

DNA collection kit featuring the full medical bit. Everything to collect a sample of your DNA at home, simply and painlessly - swabs, sterile pouches and a pair of sexy disposable gloves.

Easy instructions to allow your unique DNA cells to be kept forever without requiring special storage conditions.

Now, please forgive my ignorance here, but what the crap? Am I missing something?

First off, I have no idea how one is meant to pronounce "CATGee." Also, what's up with the DNA-gathering thing? Is it so you can secretly run paternity tests or something? Or do you analyze the other person's DNA to see if they're good breeding stock? Or is this some way to do the Billy Bob Thornton/Angelina Jolie thing where they wore vials of each other's blood around their necks? (And speaking of Angelina, I just got a mental picture of Billy Bob Thornton and then one of Brad Pitt and man that's an upgrade. Good choice, Ange, even though I'm totally on team Aniston when I actually allow myself to dwell on such tawdry matters. Which I don't. Ever.)

Either way, that's just strange. As is the idea of sexy disposable gloves. I mean, yeah, maybe disposable gloves are sexy if you have some weird CSI fetish--in which case this whole kit would probably be right up your sick alley. Me, now, when I think of disposable gloves I think of the food service industry, dentists, and gynecologists. And I actually find all of those things to be the exact opposite of sexy, thank you very much.

But then, you know, maybe I've got it all wrong. Because this thing is on course to become the craze of the decade. So who am I to argue with that? I mean, I could argue that it's 2006 already and that so far the decade has been DNA-testing-craze free, but you probably shouldn't listen to me, because I'm a crazy person who doesn't find disposable gloves sexy.

9 comments:

foodie said... [reply]

You know you are real nut job if you don't think disposable gloves are sexy!

As for the craze of the decade, it will probably last as long as the spray can-o-hair that was supposed to cover up thinning or balding areas on one's head!

Th. said... [reply]

.

Oh my....

Disposable gloves....

You know, if they're so sexy, I am totally just buying a box of those. I'll bet it'ld be muy cheaper. And a lot more sexy per penny, to boot.

jaime said... [reply]

From a nurse's standpoint, disposable gloves are definitely NOT sexy. If you only knew what you have to do with those things at times. Nope, not sexy. But, thank goodness for disposable gloves...I am grateful for them! Yeah, that's my two bits about sexy gloves. :)

P.S. What did you end up buying WR for Valentine's Day?

CBH said... [reply]

I thought it was supposed to be an at-home paternity test too. Maybe it's just a a container to stick some blood in so some future civilization to find and clone later. You should just e-mail them about it.

CoolMom said... [reply]

Didn't BYU have some program a while back where someone was doing DNA research to trace family histories or something like that?

It rings a bell.

TannerJ5 said... [reply]

Maybe it's so when the cops say your guilty you can prove yourself innocent with fifteen different dna sample, like an obsessed person. they'll pin you down anyways.

Savvymom said... [reply]

You should email the link to Helen Fielding so she can incorporate it ino her next installment of BJD. Maybe we can find out who the Dad is! Although we know it's Mark's. It HAS to be.

daltongirl said... [reply]

Wow. DB and I just donated DNA samples to this genetic research thing, and we got no sexy gloves in our kit at all. Just a little vial of special DNA-gathering mouthwash. I feel like we were robbed of something special.

But if there's something we could buy online that would do a home paternity test (AND offers sexy gloves), that might be something to look in to. I've always had a couple of questions about Daltonkid . . . although at this point, after raising the kid for 16 years, it really doesn't matter who the biodad is, does it? I'm just ever so slightly curious.

Nemesis said... [reply]

Foodie, if YOU were wearing the gloves I would think it was sexy. Because you would be using them to give me great food that you made. And I'm going to stop talking because I just remembered about those raspberry twist things and yeah stopping

Th.--see? Now you know what to get Lady Steed for her bday!

Yeah, see, gross. I knew you'd understand, Jaime! And I ended up getting WR a book, a little coupon-book thingy, and a foot massage. Lucky guy . . .

CBH, I sort of don't want to email them because the whole thing is just so odd. Who knows what they would say? How about YOU email them and tell me about it!

Hi Mom! Yeah, they did, only you had to give them blood and your 4-generation family tree.

Yeah they will, Tanner. Yes . . . they will.

SM--SO has to be Mark Darcy. I just won't even consider another option.

Daltongirl, at first I thought you were talking about Daltonboy, and I was going to be like, "Do you mean the Daltonboy who looks EXACTLY like his dad?" Only then I realized who you meant, and . . . yeah.

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