Lest anyone think my father is growing soft

So I was on Skype with my parents tonight, and Mom told me that she bought the new Pride & Prejudice. And I got all wistful and jealous, because man that was a good movie.

Dad: The new one is TOTALLY better than the old one, by the way.

Me: Are you just saying that because it's shorter or do you actually like it better?

Dad: Absolutely because it's shorter.

Mom: He would have liked it better though if it had that Catherine Zeta-Jones in it!

Dad: Well yeah, any movie would be better with Catherine-Zeta Jones in it.

Me: Yeah, but who would she play? She's too old to be anybody in that movie.

Dad: I don't care who she plays.

Me: So what, she could be the tavern wench or something?

Dad: Heck yeah, man. That's a great idea.

Mom: You could make a subplot out of it--Mr. Darcy's Indiscretions.

Me: What, like, Mr. Darcy and the Tavern Wench?

Dad: See, there's a film worth seeing. Or she could always be that one guy's, um . . . who's that one guy?

Me: Which guy?

Mom: Willoughby? Wickham?

Dad: Noooo, you know, the one with the sister or whatever, and he's his friend . . .

Mom: Bingley?

Dad: Yeah, that's the one. His sister. (pause) Only if she was in it then nobody would be looking at anybody else.

Me: That's great, Dad. Way to kill the plot there.

Dad: Hey. I'm just saying. I bet if it had Catherine Zeta-Jones in it WR would have watched it with you.

Me: Nope, he wouldn't've. If it'd had AK-47s and explosions in it, then maybe.

Dad: (laughing) Well yeah, that would've made it tons better too. And so would Catherine Zeta-Jones.

Me: I'm putting this in a blog post, Dad. I'm doing it right now.

(Then we all discussed how my mom wants to own all the Jane Austen films and I told her to avoid the ones from the 1970s because they're rubbish.)

Dad: Turns out we have that Emma movie with whatserface in it. We saw that the other day.

Me: Gwyneth Paltrow?

Dad: Yeah, her. Man that movie's stupid.

Me: Gosh, strong words, there. So do you hate it more or less than you hated Sense & Sensibility?

Dad: I dunno, which one was that?

Me: That's the one where you always get up and leave when Willoughby pulls the pocket sonnets out of his coat, and you say, "Man, I can't take this crap, you just know that guy's a creep."

Dad: Ennhhhh . . .

Mom: You know that one, it's the one with Kate Winslet, Alan Rickman, Hugh Grant, Emma Thompson . . . "

Dad: They all suck.

Then he burst out laughing, all pleased with himself. And Mom and I sort of had to bust up laughing at that point, too. He did kind of clarify that he meant the films rather than the actors. Because I happen to know he likes that Alan Rickman.

As we all do, on account of it's impossible to resist that velvety, velvety voice of his. I dare anyone to try.


amyjane said... [reply]

I jst got the new P&P. Sean thinks it's "OK" but he says if he had to watch one or the otherm he likes the old one better. Go him! Also, Alan Rickman. I'm really not looking forward to watching him kill Dumbledore in HP #6. That won't do good things for our relationship.

CBH said... [reply]

It's a good thing you posted that movie on there, becuase as I was finishing the post I opened up another window so I could get the address and post in the comments. THat's an awesome movie.

Chris said... [reply]

Nemesis, I have to say that the two men your life are men after my own heart.

While I don't condone book/DVD burning, I might have to change my mind.....

Cicada said... [reply]

Man, that Alan Rickman thing made my night.

Miss Hass said... [reply]

I watched the new P&P.


And I liked it. A lot. I'm so ashamed

Nemesis said... [reply]

Amyjane, I'm not excited about that either. I may have to just close my eyes and think about Sense & Sensibility. That might help.

CBH, I owe it all to you, my brother.

Oooh, Chris, them's fightin' words . . .

Cicada, glad I could bring a little joy into your hum-drum life. It makes me feel as though my hard work ain't been in vain for nothing. (Anyone know where that's from?)

Oh dear. Oh Hass. What are you even going to do with yourself now? You've totally crossed over. You're one of US NOW! Mwah hah hahahahahahahh!

kristen said... [reply]

Alan Rickman trivia--name that movie:

(cousin): Why a spoon?

(Alan's character): Because it will hurt more!

That one's a classic. He makes a great villain. I have to say it was a little weird seeing him in Sense and Sensibility.

I think it's a toss up between the two P&P movies. The new one is great......but you just can't replace the longer version.

daltongirl said... [reply]

Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. I'm embarrassed to know that, because no one should see that movie enough to quote it. Even though Alan Rickman is awesome.

Back to P&P. I will be purchasing it as soon as ever I see it in a store, which means I will have to actually GO to a store someday. Not looking forward to that.

Catherine-Zeta Jones as Caroline Bingley (or Mrs. Hurst) makes me laugh really hard.

The Walrus said... [reply]

Firstly, Alan Rickman is AMAZING.
Secondly, Catherine Zeta-Jones is stupid and makes the rest of our country look stupid too. Anyone remember her last oscar acceptance speech?
Gah! If she was in P&P I'm afraid I would HAVE to burn it.

Th. said... [reply]



Only my favorite movie ever.

redlaw said... [reply]

oh that video...good grief, that's the best thing ever....soo flippin' funny!

kristen said... [reply]

Dude--don't knock Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. ("You ten o'clock, you ten thirty; and bring a friend!"). It may not be your Pride and Prejudice, but it's still a great flick. I'd have to say it's one of Kevin Costner's best. His career seemed to die after that.

CoolMom said... [reply]

I am off to rent (or maybe even buy!) Sense and Sensibility and at least rent Robin Hood Prince of Theives, only for Alan Rickman. I don't even remember who played RH.

The McCulloch Family said... [reply]

kevin Costner mom. You can pick up a copy of Sense and Sensibility for me while you're there. I can't find one.
And just think, when AR does kill Dumbledore, it's more like taking one for the team. Hopefully.

Anonymous said... [reply]

This made me so happy! That was hilarious! loving the velvety, velvet - and I got the soundtrack for the new P&P and it's just the most soaring gorgeous soundtrack! *happy sigh*

Chantel said... [reply]

Sorry, Nemesis, but I really don't like Alan Rickman's voice. It's so creepy and Darth Vader-y!

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