There are few people in England, I suppose, who have more enjoyment in music than myself--or a better taste

This guy in the computer lab just now was listening drinking his Coke and listening to his I-Pod. Not that I can judge him for the Coke--pretty much everyone eats and drinks in here. I just finished a Cadbury Dairy Milk Whole Nut bar. Anyway, and I suddenly recognized the music: it was Must Have Been Love by Roxette.

First off I had to laugh at the sight of this rugby-player-looking guy zoning out to cheeseball early 90s pop love songs. At the same time I was transported back in time to 1991 when I used to listen to the Pretty Woman soundtrack in my Walkman because it was one of the three cassette tapes I owned (the other two being the Footloose soundrack and a Paula Abdul cd). And just typing that for the Internet to see makes me realize yet again how very, completely uncool I was as an 11-yr-old.

Of course, it's not like I have cool taste in music now, either. (There are far too many Broadway musical soundtracks in my I-Tunes for that.) But that's neither here nor there, and I can just go ahead and be a musical loser if I want to.

Only there's something looming on the horizon that might send me plummeting from Musical Geek to Sad Trainwreck Avert-Your-Eyes-Children Freakshow. Someone asked if I could play my flute in the Ward Talent Show this spring if he got a woodwinds quartet or something together. Sure, no problem. I won't sound too bad if there are other people to drown me out. Only last Sunday this guy caught me and asked if I could do a flute piece if he found me a piano-playing accompanist. So we're upgrading from blending into a quartet to just me and the piano. I said that would be fine but that I don't have any music for that sort of thing.

Him: Oh, that's fine. The theme is showtunes, so--

Me:---I'm sorry, did you say showtunes?

Him: Yeah.

Me: And, like, everyone is only doing showtunes stuff?

Him: Uh huh.

Me: Well, um, I definitely don't have any of that kind of music. For the flute.

Him: Oh that's okay, I'll find something.

So now I can just picture it. I'll be up there onstage in some chorus-girl tuxedo outfit with the top hat and the fishnet tights dancing up there next to the piano while I toot"Too Darn Hot" on my flute like that girl in Miss Congeniality. Or maybe they'll stuff me into some 80s Dynasty-style evening dress with the blue sequins and the leg o'mutton sleeves and white tights and I'll have to play "Memory" looking all soulful with my eyes closed.

Oh gosh. Somebody help me.