There are few people in England, I suppose, who have more enjoyment in music than myself--or a better taste

This guy in the computer lab just now was listening drinking his Coke and listening to his I-Pod. Not that I can judge him for the Coke--pretty much everyone eats and drinks in here. I just finished a Cadbury Dairy Milk Whole Nut bar. Anyway, and I suddenly recognized the music: it was Must Have Been Love by Roxette.

First off I had to laugh at the sight of this rugby-player-looking guy zoning out to cheeseball early 90s pop love songs. At the same time I was transported back in time to 1991 when I used to listen to the Pretty Woman soundtrack in my Walkman because it was one of the three cassette tapes I owned (the other two being the Footloose soundrack and a Paula Abdul cd). And just typing that for the Internet to see makes me realize yet again how very, completely uncool I was as an 11-yr-old.

Of course, it's not like I have cool taste in music now, either. (There are far too many Broadway musical soundtracks in my I-Tunes for that.) But that's neither here nor there, and I can just go ahead and be a musical loser if I want to.

Only there's something looming on the horizon that might send me plummeting from Musical Geek to Sad Trainwreck Avert-Your-Eyes-Children Freakshow. Someone asked if I could play my flute in the Ward Talent Show this spring if he got a woodwinds quartet or something together. Sure, no problem. I won't sound too bad if there are other people to drown me out. Only last Sunday this guy caught me and asked if I could do a flute piece if he found me a piano-playing accompanist. So we're upgrading from blending into a quartet to just me and the piano. I said that would be fine but that I don't have any music for that sort of thing.

Him: Oh, that's fine. The theme is showtunes, so--

Me:---I'm sorry, did you say showtunes?

Him: Yeah.

Me: And, like, everyone is only doing showtunes stuff?

Him: Uh huh.

Me: Well, um, I definitely don't have any of that kind of music. For the flute.

Him: Oh that's okay, I'll find something.

So now I can just picture it. I'll be up there onstage in some chorus-girl tuxedo outfit with the top hat and the fishnet tights dancing up there next to the piano while I toot"Too Darn Hot" on my flute like that girl in Miss Congeniality. Or maybe they'll stuff me into some 80s Dynasty-style evening dress with the blue sequins and the leg o'mutton sleeves and white tights and I'll have to play "Memory" looking all soulful with my eyes closed.

Oh gosh. Somebody help me.


Stupidramblings said... [reply]

I can send you an arrangement of "Phantom of the Opera" done sole-ly for the flute. It'd be rockin' to play the thing with the flute.


Rachel said... [reply]

Hey, I STILL like Roxette. She's Got the Look? Come on! It's a classic!

I had the Paula Abdul tape, too. It was cool at the time so I refuse to be embarrassed about it.

The Divine Miss A said... [reply]

I can so picture you in sequins, only, don't you think that they should be pink instead of blue. . . I'm just saying.

amyjane said... [reply]

Remember that one roommate who sang "Summertime" all lounge-lizard style at the ward talent show? I think we were roommates then. Either way, it was hilarious and earned her a very interesting reputation in the ward.

edgy killer bunny said... [reply]

I am here to offer you hope and help you realize how much of a music loser you are not. I cannot in any way, shape, or form mock your musical sensibilities since I could very well put my showtunes playlist up against yours and win. And my first CDs were Michael Bolton's Time, Love & Tenderness and the Beauty & the Beast soundtrack.

Oh. And I'm crossing my fingers for the Dynasty evening gown. Please post pics.

kristen said... [reply]

Anything with sequins would be great. Maybe you can break out in dance, twirl your flute around like a baton, do a little tap, etc. The possibilities are endless. Whatever you do, post some pics.

I think everyone had a Paula Abdul album (I'm forever your girl....)

daltongirl said... [reply]

Do you think you could coordinate that talent show thing with my pending visit? Because I really want to see it BAD.

If it's not too much trouble . . .

April said... [reply]

What if you played "Who Am I?" and had some guy rip his shirt open to reveal his prison tattoo and scream "I am Jean ValJean!" That would please me greatly.

Oh, and I remember in 6th grade math class, instead of taking notes, I was writing the lyrics to Paula Abdul's "It's Just the Way That You Love Me." Me = Uncool.

Cicada said... [reply]

I really like April's idea...

le said... [reply]

Heh. Good luck on that talent thing.

And my musical tastes at the age of twelve consisted of the Lion King soundtrack and an Amy Grant tape. Now who's uncool?

chosha said... [reply]

I don't think your problems started with the number of showtunes on your ipod. I think they started with the words, "yes that would be fine".

Remember, just say no, Nemesis. Just say no.

Lady Steed said... [reply]

Nem just be sure you give the other young ladies a chance to display their talents!

TannerJ5 said... [reply]

i can just imagine you in the miss congeniality 2 las vegas outfit dancing on a stage. And does that mean I'm not cool?

CBH said... [reply]

Sister, we've practiced what you're supposed to do in this situation. You're supposed to say "Piss off, tosser!"

I figure that you'll probably find that offensive now that you've been in England for a while and all, but it would still work.

Nemesis said... [reply]

M****** L** H******, you wash your mouth out with soap.

CoolMom said... [reply]

Okay, somewhere in the middle of me and the dog getting our hair done, I missed this blog. I hope it's not too late.

#1 Coolboy might want to repent for that language quick before his mission call comes. They may still need a few kids for outer Mongolia.

#2 My first ALBUM was "The Monkees". Did you know they had the TV show? I think the whole thing was make believe. I don't know how my parents stood it.

#3 Cooldad had James Taylor.

Those were the days.

I can use the word verification in a sentence today.

Anyway, good luck, BOMTEQ! Is that for people who can't make it at AVTEC?

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