Do those scrubs come in pink?

The other day Landlady J went to the dentist and told me that her dental assistant talked constantly in a really high voice. I tried to explain to her about the dental assistants in Provo. And how it's sort of the alternative for girls who don't want a 4-yr degree but want to be taken more seriously than beauty school students. This way, they get to wear scrubs which makes it seem as though they are doctors or other medical-type people. And you see them in line at Cafe Rio with their tanned skin and startling white teeth and two-toned blonde highlights and acrylic nails. And scrubs. And some of them have done me grevious wrongs and are on my list of people to kill.

I realize some may find this a gross overgeneralization, and they might write in to say that I am so completely wrong because their little sister is a dental assistant and she does it because she loves people and teeth and taking X-rays and it's totally noble. Fine. Bully for your sister. I also realize that there is a difference between dental assistants and dental hygienists. Dental assistants train for 9-11 months. Dental hygienists train for 2-4 years and are the ones who are allowed to put sharp pointy objects in your people's mouths.

Shortly thereafter I got on LDS Linkup to change my profile from "In a Relationship" to "Single." (Let the letters from creepy old European and Latin-American men commence!) When I was done I clicked on one of the "Recent Additions" because the pic included a line from Wicked ("Dancing through Life") and I sort of have Wicked on the mind.

I kid you not, here's what I found. The girl is:

  • 22
  • blond
  • blue eyed
  • quite tan
  • wearing some sort of cowgirl outfit
  • from Arizona
  • aaaand . . . a dental assistant

Her hobbies include boys, flirting, and kissing. She also loves "doing just about anything that is just very fun and exciting!" All the statements in her "About Me" and "Who I'd Like to Meet" sections include an exclamation mark.

Out of curiosity, I did a search for "dental assistant" under Occupations.

1,536 results--almost all are females.

I'm just saying. It's officially the Mormon equivalent of hair school, and now I don't even need to feel bad for saying so. The numbers, they are on my side.


kristen said... [reply]

I'm sure she's a sweet spirit.....

Who are we kidding? Her leisure activities probably keep her in her bishop's office.

You hit the nail right on the head. I think you can put the college of massage therapy right up there as well (sorry if I offend). Thanks for the laugh :)

Kelly said... [reply]

You get the creepy European and Latin-American men too? Gosh, if not for them, I'd never get an LDS Link Up ego boost.

I think it's extra creepy that my "In A Relationship" status has thus far not been a deterrent.

CoolMom said... [reply]

I remember the dental hygenist who "cleaned" my teeth in Eagle River years ago and I couldn't figure out why it hurt so much (and why thre was so much blood) until I looked down at the bib and it was covered with little chunks of disgarded (former) gum tissue. I let them know she was off the list asap.

The McCulloch Family said... [reply]

Don't even bash hair school. Those girls have SKILLS they can use in REAL LIFE when they get out of there. Imagine how much money you'd save if I had gone and I could cut your hair and do your hightlights!
Lost of them do dress like hookers and have scary hair and or makeup, but don't lump them in with the dental girls. That was way harsh, Ty. I mean Nem.

Stupidramblings said... [reply]

No one wants to date them though, because they are usually obsessed with mouth hygiene that is unattainable in this life...

daltongirl said... [reply]

My niece is going to be a dental assistant. I have nothing to add or detract from your description.

Out of fairness, let it be said that I love my niece very much, and she is TSGITW. And she may possibly have said "hygenist," I wasn't listening that closely. But yeah.

Laura said... [reply]

The best article EVER in the Daily Universe (which granted is not saying much) was when an automobile ran into that hair school on 9th East. (I can't believe I forgot the name! It was right between McDonalds and Gold's Gym, but I don't know if either two of those places are still there?)

Anyway, one of the girls was quoted as saying something to the effect of, "Sure it was scary but we couldn't let that stop us from styling and cutting hair!"

Oh, so hilarious. And such dedication! Heaven knows if flying glass and a SUV came through my front door I would abandon the books and RUN.

Also, no creepy European and Latin American men write me on my LDS Linkup profile. Where's the love, my pimps?

Cicada said... [reply]

That's the Paul Mitchell school, I think.

Also a note on LDS Link-Up: IT'S CALLED LDS LINK-UP. I don't care if you claim to use it as a way to "keep in touch with friends." I hear that Match.com helps you keep in touch with friends, too. Only I'm so surprised that people keep writing me and wanting to, like, meet me and stuff.

Lady Steed said... [reply]

Thanks Nem, for doing the research to back up an observation that I have always kept to myself.

Unmanagable said... [reply]

HEY "Kristen said..."! Spending lots of time in the bishops office doesnt make someone a bad person. Being a hoe make someone a bad person.
I remeber that DA gum-butcher from Eagle River. We called her "The Rat Lady" and she made me hurl birthday cake with blue icing. One time when Coolboy had to get checked, mom was talking to the receptionist at the clinic to make sure the TRL didnt check him out, but we didnt know what her name was. As she was trying to describe her- "a short lady with brown hiar" (Yah, okay) someone yelled "The Rat Lady!" and the receptionist heard it and totally knew who she meant after that; because she looked like one. And she was mean. And the receptionist was laughing for a really long time so we like her alot.

And one more thing-
I love you Nem.

CBH said... [reply]

Holy crap I remember when you puked on The Rat Lady! That was so awesome. Of course, that as when I was in 2nd grade and managed to gag and puke about 5 times a week, so I was probably just glad someone else was puking too.

It's a real shame none of those assistant chicks would ever go out with me (I don't floss, sue me), they're usually pretty good-looking. Then again, they're probably of the same mold of girls that wear "sweatpants" reminiscent of Daisy Duke that have things like "Babe", "Hottie", and "Dang Dirty Hoe" printed on the butt. There's usually some thongage making an appearance in there too. Gah, high school memories are creeping up on me. Oh well, those chicks are missing out.

Miss Hass said... [reply]

Ah, acrylic nails, blonde hair, and leathery tan skin... I wish I looked like a dental assistant, then maybe I could get a man... ;)

Laura said... [reply]

Von Curtis!

I can sleep again tonight.
(Sorry for random shrieking.)

kristen said... [reply]


Um, I think you totally missed my point. I was simply inferring that her behavior might cross the line frequently which would place her in her bishop's office often--which IS NOT A GOOD THING.

Sorry you misunderstood and did not catch my sarcasm.

BTW--it's HO, not HOE (the latter being a tool)

Nemesis said... [reply]

Hi Kristen! Only I'm okay with the UCMT, because massage therapists perform a valuable service that I want. Dental assistants don't.

Kelly, word. Also, word again.

Yeah, Mom, cbh, etc., I think we were all pretty much united in our hatred of the Rat Lady. MAN she was mean.

Jen, I was totally going to tell everyone about how you wanted to drop out of college and go to hair school. And yes, I would love it if you could do my hair. Too bad Ed would always just mutter stuff about "You just gotta be natural. 93% of guys like the natural look!"

Stupid, you could be onto something there. Like maybe you'd have to floss before they would kiss you.

Daltongirl, yeah.

I remember that, Laura! It used to be Von Curtis but now it's Paul Mitchell and they wear all black and sometimes I almost used to hit them in my car as they crossed 9th East. Not because I had anything against them, but because they were jaywalking, and that's what jaywalkers get.

Cicada, I am making a snotty face at you right now, brat. Don't make me come over there and take the mattress back.

Lady Steed, that's what I'm here for: to say the mean things other people are too kind to actually verbalize.

Um, Kristen & Brother? Can y'all please get along? I promise Kristen is not a jerk. Not to me, anyway. :-) Girl's got a point if one of your hobbies includes making-out. Also, I love you too!

Indeed, cbh. They are missing out. also they're uncomfortable because they have a lacy string up their @$$es.

See, Hass? It could have all turned out differently for us . . .

redlaw said... [reply]


Oh, that was good. But suddenly, I want to join LDS-LINK UP just because everyone else here seems to be a member....

Dental assistants, eh? I think I usually snub them on my way to see the dental hygenists...I have no time for counter-warmers, thongs or not.

And speaking of thongs, I don't care what people say - you do not wear those because they are comfortable - nothing wedged between the cheeks is all that comfy....you wear them because they are sexy or the trend or whatever....and I can call you a hoochie if I want to because I don't want to see your undies, EVER. So pull your pants up and move along, stupid dental assistants.

metamorphose said... [reply]

But thongs do serve a purpose! I'd rather wear a thong than have my "panty-lines" showing -especially at church or something, can't stand the girls that wear *tighter* skirts to church and wear bunchy undies, it's super tacky! And attracts way too much attention to the buttocks area...and makes wedgies obvious and detectable to the naked eye. It's right up there with letting your bra straps hang out. Seriously, unless you've taken the garment route, thongs are necessary.

But yes, letting your thong hang out is especially heinous. Gross.

And aren't dental assistants required to talk in a high cheesy voice? I mean, doesn't that come with the tan, acrylic nails, etc.?

The Divine Miss A said... [reply]

Nothing against dental assistants (except for the one from your previous post), it's just that anything with dental in the title gives me the willies. I have your type of gag reflex Nem, and so the whole trip is spent not trying to toss my cookies.

Lula said... [reply]

Note: The word for "thong" in Brazilian Portuguese is "fio dental," which also can be translated back to English as "dental floss."

gloom chawl said... [reply]

I also went to dentist last week and truly I was amazed with their services. The professionalism there was great. The staff scrub tops were looking good and were trendy too. I will recommend them to everyone who need dentist services.

Jade Graham said... [reply]

it takes at least eight years of specialised medical training and experience for a clinical officer to graduate with a post-basic qualification. oral jelly australia

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