The Telling

This story didn't happen to me, it happened to my friend who briefly blogged under the psuedonym Mistress of Mayhem. She is aptly named, I feel, because she has more crazy stories of her encounters with weirdos than anyone I have ever met in my life, including the Iraqi hair-stylist man on a train in Germany who wanted to marry her for a green card and kept telling her, "I could loff you." It is her latest encounter which I share with you now.

First off, let me say that MM is getting married tomorrow in Seattle, and the whole story is just extra romantic, and we are thrilled that she is so happy. Here is a picture of MM and her fiance. See how cute and happy they are?

Anyway. It seems there are some people out there who are idiots and don't know when to keep their fat mouths shut. When she brought her engagement pictures in to work, some guy told her that he didn't recognize her in the picture because "you look a lot skinnier in the photograph than you do in person!"

Now really, Who does that???

But that's not even it. You could possibly just chalk that up to the guy being clueless and tactless and not asking permission from someone smarter before speaking.

This next one is the one that kills me. A lady in a restaurant in Provo overheard MM talking about the wedding, so she butted into the conversation and said, "I don't think you should be eating, because a girl like you could stand to lose a few pounds. It wouldn't kill you."

Aaaaaand this is the part where my jaw completely dropped and the air left my body in a huge gasp and I had no words. I think my mind had to reboot from the shock of it.

MM, because she is the epitome of gracious behavior, responded with, "Well, I am hungry, and though I could lose a little weight, I hadn't thought starving myself to be a great option."

And the cow, instead of being shamed by behavior that should have rightly earned her several bricks to the teeth, retorted, "Well, this should be the most important day of your life, and it won't hurt you to go 3 or 4 days without any food. Might help a little, you know."

Might help WHAT, exactly??? Might make her groom love her more because she lost 3 pounds? And in what possible universe is MM's weight any of this lady's business? I wish so, so, SO very badly that I had been there. Because even though I don't like getting in actual real arguments with people, I would have made an exception for this one. I would have suggested that she lose a few pounds too--starting with a lobotomy. And that she take herself right back to whatever bridge she crawled out from under.

Also, MM isn't fat! At all! And even if she were, so what? She happens to be one of the kindest, smartest, funniest people I know. Why would anyone want to stomp on her happiness like that in the name of being helpful? MM is, in fact, the kind of person who, two days before her wedding, asked how I was doing and actually listened when I told her. Anyone else would have had a hard time focusing on anything that wasn't to do with the upcoming wedding (which is understandable), but not her, and that's just one of the many reasons why I love her.

And so tomorrow, even though I can't be there, I'm going to be crossing fingers, toes, knees, and elbows in the hope that everything will go smoothly for her. Best wishes, dearest!


Cicada said... [reply]

Oh. My. Gosh. This probably wasn't your intention, but after reading that and looking at her picture, I thought, "Oh crap. If people are looking at her and telling her that she needs to lose weight, then I'd better get real serious about this weight loss business because holy crap."

Also, I wish I could have shot a brick at that woman's head.

Horatio Hornblower said... [reply]

I am most appalled. Shocked, grieved. From whence does this woman get off? I will fight the vile wench to the death.

Sariah in Vancouver said... [reply]

First of all, I'm with Cicada!

Secondly, the way you wrote about MM made me wish she were my friend too. You both are lucky to have each other as good friends.

Third, even IF she were overweight, obviously her fiance loves her for who she is. Why should she go to drastic measures to change for one day?

(Almost done...) I hate stupid people!

And finally, Best wishes to MM and her new hubby!

Usually Happy said... [reply]

You're kidding. Wow, if that girl is fat then I'm surely a giant whale!

Squirrel Boy said... [reply]

I think the best part of Nemesis's stories is that, if you know her in person, you can totally visualize the veins popping out of her head as she sputters in rage.

CoolMom said... [reply]

She should've at least gotten her meal free. Or gotten that bimbo fired. But people in Utah are just too nice. I'd lay odds that the server was a porker herself.

Nemesis said... [reply]

Hi Mom! I don't think the lady was her server, though--just another person at the restaurant. Landlady J things she must be a depressed anorexic!

metamorphose said... [reply]

Clearly that woman must have been out of her mind. And no matter what one might have said to her, she probably was too nutso to have realized how unbelievably horrible it was for her to say such things.

There are some sick sick people out there.

Lady Steed said... [reply]

Wow. This story is almost unbelieveable...almost. What is it about a person that makes these sort of crazy things happen to them?

Plus, where were these people raised? Don't they know it is incredibly rude to comment about a complete stranger's weight?!

Lastly,if MM has a weight problem, then I need one of those stomach stapling surgeries.

Hope all went well on the big day! Best wishes to MM and her love.

Anonymous said... [reply]

Nice picture. Is tha MM's Iraqi train acquaintance?

JB said... [reply]

Wow. That's apalling. You're right, too, I was shrieking with dumbfoundery. ;)

It's a scary/gross idea that women starve themselves for a few days before they get married. Right, like you need to be low on energy during all that stress!! I'm glad MM thinks more of herself than to do that. The nerve of that woman! Best of luck, MM!

The Walrus said... [reply]

That woman deserves a right royal bitch-slapping!

Desmama said... [reply]

*Gack, gasp* No words, my friend. No words. I just like Cicada's imagery of shooting a brick. So poignant. Your friend looks lovely and happy--what a nice picture. (I can't stand the ones where the girl has her arm possessively draped over her catch's chest with the ring front and center. Brick shooting once again comes to mind.)

*Ahem.* That's all.

Nemesis said... [reply]

You and me both, Cici. It would have been a cinderblock party.

HH, you know I love it when you avenge mistreated women. Give us some sugar.

Hi Sariah, good to meet you! And to all your comments . . . I know!!! Glad some people get what's what.

Hey, it's cute Jamie! Ever so happy to see you. And whatever, there's nobody as photogenic as you.

Um, SB, how about we don't tell the Internet about The Veins, mkay? I mean, not that I have any. Or anything. Like that. :-)

Yes Meta, I think you're probably right there, which is why there's just no point trying to talk to some people. You let the bricks do the talking instead!

Yeah, Lady Steed, I know! And no, I don't know what possible upbringing could make someone think it's okay to say such things.

Anon, I'm sorry to say that MM decided not to take the Iraqi up on his generous offer. Her fiance is Korean-American, and a sweetheart to boot.

Yeah, JB, I know! That's like those crazies who decide to FAST on the day of their wedding. I mean seriously, use some common sense. Also, the dress won't fit the way it should if you all of a sudden lose a ton of weight, right?

Yes, Walrus, she does. And my hands are a'tingling . . .

Nemesis said... [reply]

I'm with you there, Texmom. Also the piggy-back ones. Because where exactly does piggy-backing come in?

Nemesis said... [reply]

Unless maybe you met at some sort of athletic event where you had a piggyback race. Then possibly that could have meaning.


kristen said... [reply]

I'm a little late, but what the crap?! The world is full of stupid people. I would have opened a can of whoop@#*! Looking at MMs picture....I don't see an ounce of fat on her!

The McCulloch Family said... [reply]

It's too bad that she is the sweetest woman in the world and this happened to her. I about had a cow. Congrats MM! I hope you have a great day! Your hair is so long! I love your pic.

Nemesis said... [reply]

I got to chat online with MM for just a second during their 6-hour layover. She says everything went just perfectly. And then a lady noticed them trying to sleep in the airport and invited them to be her guests in the big posh Admiral Lounge while they waited.

See?!? SOME people know how to be nice. That lady gets class points from me.

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