12.05.2006

Staving off skin cancer

I've been thinking about skin lately--specifically about mine, and how I've pretty much resigned myself to being One Who Is Even Whiter Than English People. I realize this may disappoint my mother, who spends her brief escapes from Alaska trying to get all the UV rays that she possibly can without being hospitalized. And don't get me started on my dad. I can't believe he just went to the doctor and was told he had great skin. That doctor needs to shut his face.

I say that tan does not necessarily mean beautiful, especially if you look orange. Or wrinkly. So here is a list of ladies whom I find very attractive and who are also quite pale. I think Nicole Kidman is the overall winner--that girl must live in a crypt or something.



Nicole Kidman



Scarlett Johansson

Reese Witherspoon



Naomi Watts


Kate Winslet


Gwyneth Paltrow

Bryce Dallas Howard


Anne Hathaway


Cate Blanchett

I would like to point out that there are several Academy Award wins and nominations among this group. This, to me, says that pale people get taken more seriously than Oompa Loompas like that Jessica Simpson.

Also, I didn't include the pale people that I'm afraid of, like Bebe Neuwirth. She scares me.

15 comments:

CoolMom said... [reply]

You make a good arguement.

stupidramblings said... [reply]

You forgot Aeon Flux, I think.

And Mr. Bean.

The McCulloch Family said... [reply]

I am all about sunscreen. I hate that nasty, weathered look that people get when they've spent too much time in the sun. And then skin cancer- that's always a bummer.

It's not that big of a hassle to get the fam all lathered up before going outside anymore. If I can get sunscreen on my pale self and my two freaky kids ever day for 6 months before leaving the house, anyone can do it.

Mary said... [reply]

oh, i heard that about bebe neuwirth. and her singing is pretty terrifying too.

i too am a pasty petunia, and i don't mind saying so.

Scully said... [reply]

I came to terms with my paleness a long time ago when I realized that I never, ever would tan. I just turn a deeper shade of pink. And I think Nicole Kidman's secret is a combination of sunscreen, umbrellas, hats, and possibly some occult ceremonies involving the blood of virgins. But I don't like to speculate about other people's private lives ;)

Lady Steed said... [reply]

Avoid the sun. Remain pale and retain your youth.

Like I told Daltongirl, my Mother is often mistaken for my older sister. She is almost thirty years older than myself. I attribute this to the fact that her skin looks great. She avoids the sun, wears sunscreen everyday and is never without sunglasses.

The sun is a great big aging machine. Pale is beautiful. Being tan is overrated...not to mention just dumb.

Also, I wish I could be as all over and evenly pale as Ms. Kidman.

kristen said... [reply]

Ok, I'm going to beg to differ. Brown is better. What can I say--I'm a sun goddess. The secret is not burning.....doing a gradual tan. I think a little color looks healthier.

And the wrinkles? Well there's always botox. (Actually, I don't have any yet and I've been sunbathing for YEARS). Maybe they'll come later, but I'll buy anti-wrinkle creams. I do take good care of my skin.

And maybe I'll contract skin cancer, but we all have to die someday. Actually, I think some people are more prone to it than others.

Like my sisters and I always say: I'm vain, shallow, and insecure. :)

Jimmy said... [reply]

Bebe Neuwirth aside, you've compiled the list of the most beautiful women in Hollywood. I didn't even realize they were pale :)

So I guess you know the frustration of burning to a crisp, only to go back to snow-white 3 days later.

I'll live with it. The idea of spray-paint tans just doesn't sit to well with me.

Rachel said... [reply]

Charlize Theron=Oopma Loompa. Homegirl needs to lay off the self-tanner.

And don't forget George Hamilton, the living baseball mitt.

Desmama said... [reply]

A while back I saw something on the news about girls--mostly teens--who were addicted to tanning. And they really were, from the sounds of it. This one they interviewed was a recovering "tanaholic," as they called it. She talked about going once a day at the height of her "addiction" and even now, as she was recovering, she had to fight the urge every time she drove by a tanning salon. I guess the addicting thing was how relaxing it was to be in there, I don't know. But it was an interesting report. I used to tan a tiny bit, but I just don't anymore, for a lot of reasons (cost, I got sick of burning), but for the most part, like you've noted, tan just isn't all that "in" anymore. You can be beautiful and creamy-skinned, with a beautiful rose-leaf complexion and lovely starry, violet eyes. I'm still working on the violet eyes part. ;)

Kristeee said... [reply]

If I were a supermodel/actress (read: if I 1. had a figure other than pear; 2. starved myself; 3. had billions of dollars I could spend on growing 4 inches, liposuction and others; 4. did not believe in modesty in dress), who was constantly showing my cleavage and wearing "dresses" slit to my hiny (not to mention any nudie scenes director X may want), I'd be avoiding the very appearance of tan lines myself. I know, there's always fake tanning in the buff . . . but I say it'd be easier to just be pasty white and invest in strikingly colored contacts.

chosha said... [reply]

I actually tan just fine, but I never want to risk it. My aunt used to bake in the sun as a teenager and now she's dealing with skin cancer-related issues regularly. My skin has people thinking I'm ten years younger than I am - this is not so for my brown, crinkly aunt.

Nicole is redhead pale and burns like crazy, so she avoids the sun. She also had a lot more freckles when she was young and in the sun more.

Chantel said... [reply]

Exactly!! Those ladies have some accumulated acting chops between them all! Join the white club. Though I don't think I'm as white as Nicole Kidman. But seriously, I don't think it is at all necessary to get a tan. You don't wanna be a ghost, but what's the big deal?

Think about the skin stereotypes from the 1800s: it is not beautiful to be a lily-white, fragile Southern belle either. That was foolish! The sun is your biggest source of Vitamin D which helps your body process your calcium intake.

CoolMom said... [reply]

Is that a perspiration stain under Anne Hathaway's armpit? I guess it might be a shadow..........but I don't think so.

Nemesis said... [reply]

Why yes, yes I do Mom.

That Aeon Flux girl is only pale some of the time, stupid. See Rachel's comment.

Words of wisdom and encouragement, Jen. Thanks.

Mary, you are gorgeous. I'm glad we're in the Pasty Girls Squad together.

No, nor I, Scully. I hear she dresses up like The Bubble Boy when she goes outside.

Lady Steed, your mom IS gorgeous. And with the pale skin and red hair you two have, there's no need to be messing with that.

Kristen, I love you. And I love that sometimes we can look at each other and wonder how anyone could possibly think such things. It's a good thing we've got the car concerts to keep us together.

Jimmy, I do know that frustration. I also know the frustration of only being able to get tan in odd random places while my legs remain the color of virgin snow.

I can never forget about George Hamilton, Rachel. Every time I see him I think about luggage.

You know what? You're right. You CAN be all those things, Miss Anne Shirley. I'm sure your imagination can get you into starry violet eyes territory. Also, you made me laugh really hard.

Kristee, you're speaking some sense there. I think if I were an actress doing skimpy scenes I would take advantage of the makeup artists and have them add things like abs and cleavage onto my pale self. Because they totally can. And that would be awesome.

Chosha, you are so smart. It's those brown people (coughKristencough) who think that just because they're not burning they're not getting any skin damage. They're the ones I worry about.

Chantel, I know exactly what you mean. It used to be that being white meant you were cool because you weren't outside working like the commoners. And then in the 50s suddenly it was cool to be tan because it meant you weren't inside working like the commoners.

Oooh, good call, Mom. That picture is now ruined forever for me.

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