In which I begin to heal

I went through my scrapbooks yesterday and came across some old pictures. They were too good not to share with the Internet, now that I've gotten my self-esteem back.


Recognize this cutie? This would be me, looking hot with the white tights. Please note that thick white tights look cute on babies and little girls--not so much on the woman I saw at church last week who paired them with pink open-toed strappy heels. I stared transfixed at her feet for a full 30 seconds before I caught myself. "Wait, is that--? Nooo, it can't be. Only. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh yes it is. Oh. Crap. Crap I'm staring." Anyway, yes. I just want to bite those legs. The baby picture legs, not the church girl legs.

And then we have me at 7 years old. I feel slightly comforted now to realize that I have always had those baggy things under my eyes when I smile and am not slowly turning into a bridge-dwelling troll as I've begun to fear. This is what my mom had in mind those times when I was about 13 and she would sigh, "You were such a pretty little girl . . ."

Here we have 6th grade. This was the last picture of me with decent hair until college. I'm not even lying. How I mourn for what was about to happen to this poor unsuspecting girl . . .

. . . namely, this. It turned dark and curly. Only look how precious it is that I'm trying to style it the exact same way I had it last year. This continued for years--me not understanding what to do with the thatched afro suddenly residing on my head. I never did figure it out. It just grew until the sheer weight of it dragged the curl out.

Which brings us to the all-important Senior Picture. In which I'm wearing a sweater from the Anchorage Costco. This was back before Gap and Old Navy migrated to Alaska, and when Costo's clothing selection consisted of Carhartt overalls (boys wore them to my high school), armpit-high Calvin Klein jeans, and lumberjack sweaters like mine. It's probably the weight of my hair that's dragging my head back. I ended up with 3 different pictures, and I'm so sad that I can't find the one where I'm cuddling a fake tree stump.

My freshman year at BYU a rappelling incident resulted in an emergency chin-length haircut (figure eight + ponytail = not good). Will have to tell that story later. Then during my London study abroad I chopped it boy-short. And since no one ever believes me when I tell them how short it was, I've included a picture. I thought it was sassy. My darling b-in-law says I must never do that again if I want to embark on anything other than same-sex relationships. I make no promises, though.

Which brings us to today. It's kind of disorienting for me to get compliments on my hair now because I was teased about it and hated it for so long. I wonder how many people turn up at their high-school reunions for shallow reasons like that. "Hello everyone. I'm still single, live with roommates, and plan to adopt 7 cats any day now. Only HAVE YOU SEEN MY HAIR?"


Tusk said... [reply]

I like your hair.
On a side note- you missed ITV's adaptation of Northanger Abbey- it was awesome beyond words!

Anonymous said... [reply]

I thought you were beautiful back in jr. high (hair and all). However, you are even more beautiful now.

Jenny said... [reply]

Ok, so Savvy didn't believe any of the pics were you except the last one. She tried to convince me that your senior picture was Amyjane.

Kristeee said... [reply]

I like how, even as a 7 year-old, the Eyebrow of Death is emerging. And yes, your hair really is love-goddess worthy.

singin' in the rain said... [reply]

Oh dearest, I love the hair chronicles. I wish I could show you my weight chronicles but I don't have a high enough self esteem to post that on the internet. Suffice it to say. I weighed more my freshman year of college than I do now- 7 months pregnant. Not Good.

foodie said... [reply]

I liked the senior picture. Maybe that is just because I have never seen you with such long hair, nor with it dark like that either. Quite the hottie, and still breaking hearts across the world!

scienceteachermommy said... [reply]

I LOVED my short hair. The maintenence level is just right--5 minutes a day to wash and go. (Lesbian comments can go to h---.) I don't know why I decided to grow it out. I used to say that you get to an age where you STOP growing your hair out. Well, if you do then I guess I'm not there yet.

Scully said... [reply]

Who didn't chop their hair in London? I was talked down from the edge of the Gwyneth Paltrow/Sliding Doors hair cut because some kind person said "Well, you do have a rather round face" and I realized the error of my ways. And I think that is a perfectly valid reason to go to a reunion, although I will be forced to say something like "I'm single, unemployed, live with my parents and talk to my beta fish because my dad won't let me have a puppy."

Lady Steed said... [reply]

I haven't seen your new hair in person but I am sure it is lovely. However, I must say that I loved your super short hair. It was very cute and sassy on you--when I think of the super short haircut I am not yet brave enough to get, I usually think of your super short hair.

Panini said... [reply]

PRECious pictures!! You're such an adorable little girl!!! And I love the foxy England doo --- you're still heterosexually sexy. :)

Rachel said... [reply]

Do you realize that we had all the same hairstyles as we grew up? We're the same age apparently. :)

abby said... [reply]

When I was on London Study Abroad, a few of the girls cut their hair really short. There must be something in the water at Palace Ct.

Nemesis said... [reply]

Tusk, I'm jealous about the Northanger Abbey adaptation. I've read the book but have never seen a film version! Let's hope I can get hold of it somehow . . .

Anon, you are very gallant.

That's too funny, Jen. Because Amyjane and I look SO very much alike.

Kristeee, thank you very much. And yes, I think I do look a bit eee-vil in that picture.

Singin', I cannot wait to see your svelte self in person! I get so excited when I think about it.

Foodie, you are a sweetie. We need to go to Greg's again!

STM, you're right. I loved that short haircut. It was so very easy.

Scully, I wanted the Sliding Doors hair too. But someone was nice enough to point out that my curly hair might not, in fact, do the same thing that Gwyneth's did.

Lady Steed, I have a hard time imagine you with short hair just because I love your long locks so much. But you definitely have the face and the neck for short hair, so I support you either way.

Jimmy said... [reply]

I think it was kinda nice watching you change over the years. You were so cute as a little one. And I know it sounds kinda lame, but I think you grew up to be very pretty. The short hair worked too! You looked a little like I pictured you might.

Love this blog :)

Nemesis said... [reply]

Panini, if you think I'm heterosexually sexy, then I'll believe you. :-)

I showed you mine, Rachel . . . and you're right, I'm thinking we had pretty typical hair. That or our mothers didn't like us.

Abby, you're right, it must be the water. Or possibly Tina's bread pudding, which I am now craving in the worst way. I got mine cut at the Vidal Sasoon school in Whiteley's. Took the girl 4 hours, no lie.

Jimmy, thank you so much for the compliment. And thank you for weighing in as a man on the short hair, because it proves what I have long suspected--that my darling b-in-law does not in fact speak for the entire male sex. I'm glad you like it here! :-)

Yeah, it's me. . . said... [reply]

I had my hair waist length in high school and currently have it cut in a very short A-line cut. My husband, who've I've known since high school, totally loves my hair the way it is now. He even complains a bit whenever I say I'm ready to grow it out again. So rest assured, not all men prefer long hair.

Miss Hass said... [reply]

Ah yes, the famous rappelling incident. I remember when you came back and were all freaked out about your hair being gone. But then you totally got over it and the hair just got sassier and sassier. And now you have the sassiest hair of anyone I know. So it all works out in the end.


Also, I'm more than just a little jealous since I've worn my blah hair in a ponytail 3-7 days a week for the last 6 months.

Nemesis said... [reply]

Hass, it was worth it to get you to stop thinking thoughts about my bangs. You know you thought them. ;-)

metamorphose said... [reply]

I really like the short sassy hair. You don't look lezzy. A lot of guys like short hair, and think any girl that can pull that off is quite secksy.

Squirrel Boy said... [reply]

It's comforting to know that I'm not the only one who's never really figured out what to do with the sudden thatched afro on his head.

Miss Hass said... [reply]

No I did NOT think...


Hmmmm...maybe I did. But that was back when I was judgmental. Also, it was the mid-90s. And really, I should not be the one judging anyone since I was still wearing TAPERED-LEG JEANS in 1997. Apparently I did NOT get the memo.

abby said... [reply]

mmmmm....Tina's bread pudding. I totally forgot about that.

chosha said... [reply]

Am I the only person that found the 6th grade hair scary? Seriously, please tell nobody still does that to children there anymore. I thought the London haircut rocked, especially the cute curliness of it - much sexier look than the senior year picture (pretty, but). What kind of aging stereotype rock is your BIL living under?

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