Thoughts that keep bloggers awake at night

This is a recent IM between my sister Jenny and me.

me: I'm worried about my blog.

My stats are going down.

Jenny: I'm sorry.

me: Am I not being funny?

Jenny: I think you are funny. Maybe you should start posting nude photos.

me: Ooooh, good idea.

Jenny: What do you eat at Costa Vida?

me: I've only had their salads. I mean, do people like it better when I'm bitter or something?

Jenny: I guess so. Which isn't good. Bitter is bad.

What does [Spitfire] order?

me: Tiny things.

Jenny: ;) I'd like a half a quesadilla please . . .

me: :-)

me: Maybe it is that I'm not bitter and angsty and unemployed.

Jenny: I bet it is.

me: Because people read my blog when I was home in AK more than they ever did before--I was sure everyone would stop.

Jenny: I always get the most comments when I bemoan life. Remember when I was pregnant and I would bash my in-laws? I was a roaring success. Now, not so much.

me: Hmmm. Must think about this. Only, I'm not angry or miserable, and I don't want to be looking for things to get upset about.

Jenny: I know. So I don't know what to tell you. Maybe you could tell stories.

me: If only people would insult me more . . .

Later that night I talked to my sister Spitfire. It went like this.

Me: Okay, so I'm worried about my blog. My stats are going down.

Spitfire: Maybe it's because you're not as funny anymore.

The End

So. You got your story and I got insulted. Everybody wins!


scienceteachermommy said... [reply]

At least they were UP once to go down!

Your word verification at the bottom (why do people do this anyway?) is meele. That is really close to melee. What a fun word melee is. It makes me think of a big rowdy soccer match where there is lots of beer and pommy accents.

lilcis said... [reply]

Post more pictures. And tell us funny stories about bad dates. That'll get you more hits!

CoolMom said... [reply]

Misquote your mother and make up some more stories about how she made you wear stupid clothes to school. That's one most people can relate to. Or how she wouldn't buy you clothes at all and you went to school naked.

Anonymous said... [reply]

Maybe a little edginess would help. Don't be afraid to piss people off.

I know you have some crazy opinions so just be you; some people will love it others will hate it but everyone will read it.

Jenny said... [reply]

I didn't sign a release or a waiver for you to share this conversation, so my lawyer may be conacting you.

Cooldad said... [reply]

This may be a radical view of this post, but who cares? Do you have a blog with the intent of establishing a growing readership or because you like writing whatever happens to be on your mind? I say just be yourself. If what you write stikes a cord with readers, so be it. If not, so be it.

Scully said... [reply]

It could be as simple as it is spring and people are involved in yard and home and various projects taking place outside. The snowbound are much more likely to spend time commenting on blogs than those enjoying lovely sunshine and 60 degree weather. Just a thought.

Nemesis said... [reply]

Scienceteachermommy, you make a valid point. And I love the work melee too.

Lilcis, thanks! Do you mean more pictures in general or more pictures that I've taken? Also, bad date stories coming right up.

Thanks, Mom! I'll get right on that.

Anon, are you my brother-in-law? My apologies if you aren't--that just sounds like him. And thanks for your advice!

Jen, I can buy your lawyer.

Dad, your advice is sound and rational. But I'm afraid I'm not so much. I guess I've always had the reader in mind as I've written this, since it was started as a way of keeping in touch with my friends.

Scully, wise words from you. Thanks! Also, I need to email you about this absolute weirdo from your hometown who wrote me on LDSLinkup. He was in his 50s! You need to watch out for him.

Scully said... [reply]

There are a lot of those here, Nem. About 8 years ago, my dad was in the High Council and he and my mother were called to serve the Single Adults (not to be confused with the YSAs) and there were some crazies. But do email me, I'm aching for good gossip!

Spitfire said... [reply]

That's not EXACTLY how our conversation went...but it definately puts our sisterly relationships into perspective.

TheMoncurs said... [reply]

I personally love your dating stories and pictures. I'm a pretty loyal reader of your blog no matter what, so I'm not a factor in your numbers going down, but maybe other people like that stuff too?

I'm going to go back to lurking now :)


lilcis said... [reply]

Pictures you've taken. Such as . . .what does your apartment look like? Not the oustide (so as to be stalked) but the inside (so as to have your decorating ideas stolen). BTW, you were the inspiration for my wedding reception. Pink Martini and parasols. And a chocolate fountain. It was fantastic.

Lindsay said... [reply]

Do you need me to visit more often to get the stats up? Because I really like your blog. You're an excellently hilarious writer.

Nerd Goddess said... [reply]

I've started visiting your blog since you've been less... bitter. I think. Maybe you should just be self-pitiable, so we'll all reasure you in our comments. Like right now.

Me: Ur lyk teh most mazng blggr evah!!!!!!!!!111one

Jimmy said... [reply]

You don't have to change anything. From the comments I have read here, you have a great readership to go with your great blog. Your comment section is like a perfect encore to every entry.

Believe me, you UT bloggers have no idea how great you all are. I need my daily fix! Great writing that involves the use of the BRAIN!

Thanks. Now don't change nuttin' ok? Or I starts sendins me Joisey frends here ta leave lots more dum comments

Eva said... [reply]

Your numbers may be going down, but then again... I don't even know you and I've been reading this blog since it started and I keep coming back

Tusk said... [reply]

Get rid of your feed reader, or make it display only half the post.

April said... [reply]

For some reason, most of my hits come from people looking for the lyrics to "Thriller."

I know what you mean, though. It gets a little depressing looking at the stats and wondering why the numbers are so low. Personally, I like to hear about stupid people. Luckily, you work in a public library, and those stories aren't hard to come by. :)

daltongirl said... [reply]

If I were Billy Joel, I'd sing you a song right now. Id go a li'l sumpin' like this: "Don't go changin' . . . to try and please me . . ."

Plus, now that you've heard Elder Holland's talk, you can't do edgy or bitter anymore. Bummer!

I will love you no matter what--just the way you are.

JB said... [reply]

I think you're every bit as funny. I just rarely have the time to comment. I hardly have the time to keep up to date on blogs! Yours is a priority, though, I love your blog!

Nemesis said... [reply]

Will do, Scully. I tried to find him and it looks like his profile is gone--which is a durned shame.

That was how the beginning of the conversation went though, Spitfire. :-)

K Moncur, thanks for coming out of hiding! I always love hearing from new people. Not that you have to comment, because you don't. But still. I appreciate it.

Lilcis, you'll laugh when I do share apartment pictures. The whole thing looks like a "before" spread. I love that picture of you two, btw. And your wedding sounds fabulous! I bet it was amazing.

Yes Lindsay, could you please make me your homepage? That would help, I think. ;-) I like your blog too, btw.

Nerd goddess, I think you're onto something there. I mean, everyone loves a pity-party hostess, right?

Jimmy, you make me laugh.

Nemesis said... [reply]

Eva, thank you. I promise I didn't write this so that people would rush to reassure me, although the suggestions are really helpful! I'm glad you're still here, though. :-)

Tusk, you are a smartie--maybe there are still plenty of people reading, they're just doing it through a reader. In which case I should just stop worrying about it.

That is weird, April. I like your blog--I especially love the story about your gparents. They crack me up.

Could you please sing the song anyway, Daltongirl? I think we could all use a song. :-)

Aw . . . JB, you're good to me.

foodie said... [reply]

Not that my puny little foodie opinion/blog is even in the same league or worthy enough to comment on this the almighty blog, but from the looks of things I don't think you have anything to worry about!

kristen said... [reply]

I'm with foodie. The mere fact that you have 23 comments as of right now tells me you have a lot of fans. So quit yer whining! ;-)

Still love ya'

Nemesis said... [reply]

Holy crap, foodie. Git over here so I can smack you. Chuh, puny . . . but thank you.

Love ya too, Kristen. I watched a movie tonight and OUR song came on. I thought of you. :-)

chosha said... [reply]

Maybe Britney pierced her eyebrow and the world got distracted by the shiny object. Don't be concerned about the fickle public. Your loyal readers will always be back for more.

Panini said... [reply]

Don't look at stats~ they're as bad as scales--invented to plague us!

Saxon said... [reply]

Hey at least the stats your getting for your blog are significantly better then mine!

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