So I saw Spiderman 3 last night

***Gah! I wondered why no one was commenting and then I realized that I'd accidentally blocked people from being able to make comments! How could I do that??? I live for comments! I'm sorry! Please, please make some!***

I don't usually do the whole "midnight showing on the day it comes out" thing, on account of I'm normal. I also don't wear a cape and blue Hanes underwear on the outside of my tights for the same reason. Which is more than I could say for some of the young men there that night. I went because some friends were going and I decided to try living a little as a way to stave off wrinkles and menopause.

Only here's the thing. I haven't read the reviews yet (except for one small one) but this was not my favorite Spiderman movie. I'll do the good things first, though.

Good things:

Opening credits. They were awesome. I want to see them again.

That hot Harry Osborn gets amnesia and morphs back into a normal, happy human being for a while and is all cute and funny and grinny with the crinkly eyes. I enjoyed that. He has a lovely smile, as it turns out.

Topher Grace. I love him even when he is playing a bad guy and has freaky sharp teeth. He's just that snarky an' cute.

There were some really good moments of Spiderman being pretty awful and cruel. They were impressive.

The Sandman's story is sad and sweet and he made me cry and I was never actually mad at him.

Now, bad things:

That movie was forever long, and they could have cut out some stuff. Watch out for the omelet-making scene that lasts like 15 minutes while you're sitting there thinking, "The heck? It's an omelet! Move along, people!"

There was some sloppy writing--people said and did completely unlikely things (or didn't say or do the natural, reasonable thing) just so that the story would go where the writers wanted it to. Look for the "Meh, it's probably just a bird" line as an example.

So Peter Parker turns all bad and evil and does horrible things, and then suddenly we have to watch 20 minutes of him strutting up and down the street being all dancey and cocky and silly like something out of Jim Carrey's The Mask to show that he's different now. That's when it kind of seemed like we were suddenly watching a completely different movie. It's true the Tobey Maguire cracked me up doing it, but I got more and more exasperated as it went on. "The crap!?! He just blew up Harry and broke up with MJ and we don't even know what's going on and bad things are happening out there and why is it that all we're seeing is Peter prancing up and down the street like a complete lurp???" It lacked focus.

The way you know Peter is being evil is because he starts looking like he's in a band--I swear I saw that hair on every goth teenager boy in the UK.

There were way too many villains and none of them got enough screen time. Thanks for that, Prancing Pony.

So MJ is this famous model-slash-actress and because of one bad review the only work she can find is as a singing waitress? I hope she doesn't actually pay that agent of hers.

The butler scene at the end: What. Freaking. Ever. Also, where was he with that information for the last 5 years, huh?? Another example of the slopping writing.

But do go see it, because there are lots of good parts. Just be prepared to sit there and wonder every now and then if the creative team is on drugs, and not the good kind.


Lady J said... [reply]

I saw it reviewed last night on BBC News 24. They pretty much agreed with you. First comment was - 2 hours and 20 minutes!!! Then they showed a scene that looked really good - and said that's what they wanted to see. Then explained that although there are lots of SCENES that are good, there was no sensible storyline. They said it looked as though the script had been written by committee - a group of people round a table who had all written a bit or had a favourite character that they wanted in their movie - so they just pasted it all together. It meant that characters like sandman would disappear for 20 minutes, so the audience forgot about them, then they get reminded that - oh yes! we still have this one to worry about.

The reviewer pointed out that you can sort out the scene length and special effects in the cutting room after filming - but the storyline? - well that HAS to be in place first.

Tusk said... [reply]

I probably will end up renting it. What really annoys me these days is the chronic need to make films 2hrs+ long. It ruins the film. Who cares we got more film for our money?! It'll just ruin the experience, you end up dissecting the choice of scenes, after about 1.5hrs!

Noelle F. said... [reply]

I saw it last night as well. I was pretty OK with the whole thing...but after reading your comments about it, I'm like, "Oh yeah. I agree there!"

Scully said... [reply]

See, your comments actually make me want to watch it more. If it is a mess, I can handle that. If it is an emotional tour de force disguised as a blockbuster, that is what I don't have the energy for!

blackjazz said... [reply]

Not for the first time, I agree with Scully. It looks like we'll be having an FHE trip to the local cinema next Monday...

Jimmy said... [reply]

I was gonna comment last night *ahem* that I hadn't been to a theatre since the release of Spiderman II. In my quest to get a life, I figured a good step would be to actually visit one again, and that you made Spiderman III a leading contender. I'll get to it in the next week!

blackjazz said... [reply]

I've seen it now.

I liked it.

There was sloppy writing, the storyline didn't always make sense, the people didn't always do things in character, I didn't really care about any of the characters very much and it was long, but... hey! Didn't you see the first 2 films?

Nemesis said... [reply]

Yay, it's Lady J! I hope this is the first of many comments from you! And I'm glad that BBC agrees with me. Shows they know what they're talking about. :-)

Yeah, Tusk. I agree that they take a risk when they make movies that go past the 2 hour limit. Because then they have to justify it and that doesn't always happen.

Thanks, Noelle! Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed watching it, but I couldn't help noticing things . . .

Your logic is impeccable, Scully. As always!

Blackjazz, glad you've seen it now! And as long as you're not expecting Lord of the Rings then you don't have to be disappointed, right?

Jimmy, I hope you enjoy the movie. But if you don't then please don't blame me--I did warn you about the flaws! It looks like this might be a good summer to start going to the theatre again, though!

Saxon said... [reply]

I haven't been to see it yet, mainly because I don't want to go on my own. I much prefer going with someone else

Edgy said... [reply]

I just got back from the movie. Your comments make me roll on the floor with laughter. Because they're Oh. So. True. It's just a bird, indeed. :)

Granted, I was in a good mood for the movie after watching all the wonderful and happy trailers for all the summer blockbusters that are likely going to suck in terms of storyline but that are going to have lots of pretty people and cool special effects.

kristen said... [reply]

I'll agree with some of these, esp. the butler scene. I was thinking the exact same thing. Seriously, where was he the last few years? And Harry, what a hotty--esp when he was all nice and cute.

I laughed heartily during Spidey's transformation--the dancing was awesome and the prancing down the street with finger pistols was pretty hilarious. In the second movie he went through a phase as well, so I didn't find it totally out of place.

I didn't totally get the sand guy. It was a little too out there; but it made sense at the end how he was involved with Uncle Ben. And while there were too many villains, it came together at the end--one of them actually turning into a good guy.

I would definitely go see this again.

April said... [reply]

I avoided reading this post until I actually got to see the movie, you little spoiler.

The Jim Carrey in "The Mask" reference was EXACTLY what I was thinking while Tobey was strutting around town. It was funny, but it went on FOREVER. Enough already!

I did like the movie, though. It's my favorite out of the 3.

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