Times like these I realize PMS is a real thing

My mother thinks I get really grouchy at certain phases of the moon. This is, of course, absurd. And if there have been times when a simple question from her (like, "So, how was your weekend?") has made me start Googling such terms as "discreet professional killer" and "make that moose attack look like an accident" then I'm sure my responses were warranted and not at all overreactions.

It is, however, kind of uncanny that my mother and sisters know exactly when I might be entering the grouchy moon phase, if in fact I do such a thing. So maybe there actually is something to that. And maybe I should consider the fact that my mom can hint that once I do get married I'd better start having babies right away to lower my children's risk of birth defects, and I can deal with that and even laugh about it. But the other night she told me that she received the "I Read Banned Books" tote bag I sent her and that she's excited to have it but is now reconsidering the whole "carry it to church" thing. I was paralyzed with rage and had to stop myself from throwing my cell phone against the wall and screaming IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT THEN JUST GIVE IT BACK, YOU BOOK BURNER!!!

Obviously, not rational. Should probably get tested for rabies or something.


Azúcar said... [reply]

You didn't say that? Oh, I would have. I think you exercised remarkable restraint.

But, in our case I think it's less to do with PMS and more to do with being Latin. Having PMS AND being Latin? A recipe for social dynamite.

amyjane said... [reply]

You nutter. Hey, maybe you're not PMSing, you're just pregnant. I'm just saying, I act like that pretty much 24/7 right now. If the feelings persist for more that one lunar cycle you should probably investigate further.

Science Teacher Mommy said... [reply]

Who is the father?

April said... [reply]

I would have had difficult from restraining myself for similar comments. But I'm usually grumpier with family than with nonfamily. I don't know why.

Also, I had a run-in on the phone yesterday with another librarian who sounded exactly like Dolores Umbridge, complete with high-pitched "Hm!"s. I wanted to set some centaurs after her.

DanaLee said... [reply]

I wouldn't knock behavior associated with the cycle of the moon. I swear I can tell when it's a full moon by the behavior of my students. Those are days you give up on lesson plans and just let the little heathens do all that self directed learning because you trying anything is pretty much pointless.

Squirrel Boy said... [reply]

Here, Nemesis. I got you something.

cooldad said... [reply]

Geez. Eat some chocolate and move on.

Nemesis said... [reply]

You wanna start, Dad? You and your vast knowledge of PMS?

Audrey said... [reply]

Amen to what Danalee said. I can count on a week every month getting nothing done at school, and it's not because of me.

coolmom said... [reply]

There's hope. Mine started fading around age 45 or so, or maybe it was just when everyone left home.

Rynell said... [reply]

A very real thing indeed. I sometimes think I should lock myself in my closet for a few days until the real me has returned.

Lizardbreath McGee said... [reply]

Um, I just thought I'd point out that Googling "make that moose attack look like an accident" now brings up this blog.

(Personally, I think that's pretty awesome.)

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