A post is coming
And it's going to be about my most recent blind date. But first I have to go to a mother-long meeting, so please excuse me. If people would like to get the party started by offering details of some of their best (and by best, I mean worst) blind dates, that would be fabulous.
I'm Steph, a librarian and mom of 3 (not sure how that happened). Let's chat books, food, Sumptuous Literary Adaptations, poop, knitting and maybe some crazy Mormon Feminism.
17 comments:
I don't think I ever went on a oh WAIT. I DID. It was with this wierdo. To the Mayan back when it sucked. I heard it was good now.
I ended up doubling with another couple and I didn't know anyone and the other guy's date was actually a high schooler it turned out as she started talking about how she had to get home by 10. That was awesome.
Anyway, we were crammed in this tiny two door car, he drove real scary and didn't wear a seatbelt, he didn't have enough cash to pay for our dinner and I ended up paying for it.
That's my only one. I think. But I am SO EXCITED to hear you tell your story!
Oh man, I've had so many bad blind dates.
I went to Preference my freshman year at BYU on a blind date. My date's grandpa died suddenly and he had to cancel to go to the funeral so a girl on my floor found me another guy to go with. He was in deep smit with her, apparently because he spent most of the night trying to get between her and her boyfriend.
One of the first 3 questions out of his mouth when he met me was, "So..what'd you get on the SAT?" Then the rest of the night he would say stuff like, "oh, ya, she's smarter than me."
He ordered the most expensive thing on the menu at dinner and kept disappearing during the dance. When I asked him if he was having fun, he said, "No..not really."
Actually, that date is good blog fodder. I think I'll do a post about the rest of the stupid stuff that kid did. It was a long, long night.
My first date was a blind date. It happened when I was in high school. Two of my scheming friends (one girl went to my high school and the other girl went to high school in a neighboring town) thought it would be great if a bunch of people from the two different high schools were paired up for one big blind date. For some reason I agreed to go.
I don't remember my date's name, mostly because he did not say one word the entire time. Not one word! Now, I'm not an incredibly talkative girl myself, so two quiet people, forced to spend the evening together, made for an incredibly awkward time. I used up nearly all my brain cells trying to come up with things to talk about -- to which he'd always reply with a shrug of his shoulders or a grunt.
And to top things off, everything the 2 girls in charge planned was dumb. If I remember correctly, it involved things like being handcuffed together while wandering around the mall gathering napkins from mall vendors. Or something. Luckily, as we carpooled to the mall, we all got separated from each other so I didn't actually have to experience that nightmare. Instead we all spent the rest of the evening wandering around the mall trying to meet up with the missing group of date-goers.
Yeah, pretty miserable evening.
Can't wait to hear your story!
In sad, boring life I've only had one blind date. And it was actually really good. We had everything in common, and we ended up dating.
Of course, he was TOO perfect. And everything about him was amazing. So, naturally, I dumped him.
Worst. blind date. ever:
1. Ugly as sin--buggy eyes, bad teeth, fuzzy beard, carrot top.
2. Kept referring to me as his girlfriend.
3. Ate food off of my plate, without asking.
4. Harrassed the waitress and made her return his drink THREE times.
5. Loudly told me a story about a surgery on his esophagus, which "exploded" and blood was everywhere.
6. After a gentle suggestion that blood and surgery convos may not be appropriate in a restaurant, he angrily announced that if anyone was listening in, it was their fault if they didn't like what they heard.
7. Made racist comments about not one, not two, but three ethnic groups of people who attended our campus.
And the next day he emailed me to invite me to a hotel hot tub party. *cries*
Oh. Oh April. My story will be so, so insignificant next to that. I am so sorry!
I've enjoyed only two blind dates in my entire dating life. And while neither one was bad exactly, they were both odd.
The first was as a freshman at BYU. There was some sort of Heritage Hall dance and our apartment decided it would be fun to fix each other up. It was a costume party or something so we told the guys to come up with the idea. They picked stuff like Superman and Lois Lane, Hans Solo and Princess Leia. My date picked Capt. Hook and Peter Pan. Um, ok. I tried not to judge. But the whole evening was just weird.
The second blind date was earlier this year. He was very nice, but as I was moving home the next weekend, it didn't really seem like it would go anywhere. Then, after I assured him his car was safe parked on 3rd S in Salt Lake, we were walking back from a Jazz game and someone had stolen his back license plate. Also, it was the night of the Trolley Square shooting and my roommate wasn't home and didn't answher her mobile, so the date was quickly pushed aside by the stress.
And April, you win and I'm very, very sorry!
Sound Effects Boy
A blind date once picked me up in an old beat up 1970's truck. He used "The Club" on his steering wheel because he must have been terrified of someone steeling his truck with rust spots and wholes all through the body. The best part about "The Club" is that every time he would take it off he would make the noise of cocking a shot gun "Chic, chic".
THEN, when he would accelerate in his crappy truck he would silently go "Vrooooommmmm" and when he would break he would make a screeching noice "Errrkkkk". And finally, when he turned he would say "Weee!!!". I'm not exaggerating about this one single bit.
I sat there wondering if I was on a hidden camera show. Seriously. I asked him to take me home early and he had to go with the rest of his friends by himself to play games. I didn't feel sorry.
Nem, please see comment #30 in "the combo" post.
My blind dates have never been too terrible, but I've had some rotten regular old dates.
One was a 13 hour first date. He had a great time. I did not.
Another time a young man invited me to a dance but then told me after we got there (to the DANCE that HE invited ME to attend) that he didn't feel like dancing. We didn't dance a single song. I finally struck up a conversation with him about a girl he loved but couldn't have, which is the only thing he was enthusiastic about the whole night. And he hit on the high school catering staff working at the reception center where the dance was held, while I was standing next to him.
Yeah, he was a total creep. With apparently no sense of social graces. I still can't get over that, not only was it a horrible "date," but he actually thought I'd go to a hot tub party with him!!!
Makes for a funny story now, though. I can't wait to hear how your date went, Nem. And I laughed a lot about Sound Effects Boy!
Well... all MY blind dates have been uneventful. I think.
But I was INVOLVED in a very odd one. That would also be the time I went on a date with an engaged girl.
[I want to stop right there. The suspense would be KILLING me.]
Sooo anyway. There was this girl, Kristen, I had asked out a few times. She had 2 friends, whose names I can't remember. One was a great cook and fed us all weekly. One was engaged to a guy in the group. Well, the cook girl and the engaged girl called me out of the blue one day to tell me of the predicament they were in.
Apparently Cook (we'll just pretend these are names OK?) had been emailing some guy from the internet for a bit and he wanted to meet in person and go out to dinner. No worries so far. However, he showed up 45 minutes early. And about 15 years older than previously disclosed.
That was apparently the point at which emergency measures had to be taken. Kristen was gone, so she couldn't double. Engaged's fiance was gone so THEY couldn't double. But desparate times call for desparate measures and Cook was NOT going alone with Stranger-Than-Previously-Believed.
So I became Jim (Engaged's Fiance) -- sort of. I didn't have time to get a full disclosure on how much of an acting job I was doing so I played it long-term safe and did not make Jim mad at me (at the risk of seeming like the most hands-off engaged man on the planet).
----------------------
Which brings us to story 2 (that I didn't plan to originally tell, but hey -- I've got 5 more minutes before I can stop monitoring this class.)
Cook had another stupendous date. (Actually, I think she had a large number of stories that were amusing, but only in retrospect.)
Short version (I hope I'm not mixing stories here, but it's possible I may be combining multiple stories):
1) They go to the arcade where date has an argument with kid about who gets to play INSERTGAMENAME next.
2) They go to his trailer for dinner / movie.
3) While driving (somewhere) he asks (and I quote), "Have you always been big?" To which she replies (kindly) that she had always been tall. "No, I mean big."
fin. (date AND post)
Before, wow. The first one had me laughing, and the second one had my mouth hanging open.
What is WRONG with people!!?
My aunt always felt the burning need to set me up on blind dates with guys that were NOTHING like me. There was Almost Albino Guy--I've never like blonde guys; Strangely Clingy Guy--he insisted that I needed to hold on to his waist while we sledded down a hill. I refused.
None of the dates were particularly bad, but I've been on at least 10. I'm done with blind dates.
Hands down, April wins. WINS.
The only way I'm ever able to score a real date is if it's a blind one. Sad, but true.
I've had good and bad. But seriously, the Bug-eyed Racist...although the Sound Effects Guy -whahahahahahaha!
So I'm kind of being a blog stalker... but this post reminded me of one bd I went on, and it was pretty good, nothing unusual (except he was a little too touchy-feely for my tastes, especially as he was very fresh off the mission)... but apparently the guy fell head over heels for me. I left a couple weeks later for a semester abroad, and he kept emailing me the whole time, despite the fact that I didn't email him back (maybe a couple one-liners). Then when I got back and had to not-as-subtly inform him that I wasn't interested, he fired back "Well, don't blame me when you don't get married!"
I loved it, what a classic line! I'm married, btw...
Geeky boy took me to animated feature. Not the fun kind of animated feature, but a stupid one. Had no conversation. Awkward, very awkward indeed. Returned home directly after the feature. It was 9 o'clock, said I was tired. Then I went out with other people for a rockin good time. Ran into said geeky boy upon returning home (much later) from having a blast with other friends. How mean am I?
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