Harnessing the wisdom of the collective

If your brain isn't too busy hurting from the other choices you're having to make on this our country's day of voting, wanna do me a quick favor?

I'm trying to put together a "best of" list for the blog, mostly because I think it could be nice to have something good to offer people when I'm having an off day and the only thing I can think to talk about is something really really boring like the corn on my left pinky toe. So see? I really am thinking of you, and of how you might not want to have to barf at your computer, at work.

The other reason is that I might go to this Utah Blog thing later in the month where you read something from your blog. I'd like to pick a good 'un if I do that. And not, you know, one of the foot corn posts.

I realize that there's a lot to choose from, and that there may not be anything that stands out. And it's not like I want to make you slog through 2.5 years of posts. Unless, of course, you are in a procrastinating mood and have a good supply of food and an empty Snapple bottle in reach. In that case, slog away, friend!

But if you do have some faves, or even the kind of posts that you generally like the most, I'd love to hear about it. I'm going through the labels now to see which things seem most popular--it looks like I get the most comments when I talk about (read: poke gentle (or not so much) fun at) the LDS culture. I don't know that those are necessarily my best post, though.

So. If you could please do all my work for me, that would be lovely.


Sherry said... [reply]

First comment! Wheeeee! (Unless somebody gets his/hers up before mine. I better type fast!)

I liked the very recent post about terrorist negotiating skills. And I really loved the one about your non-Victoria Secret slumber party. And I loved the review of Beauty and the Beast, particularly the part where you said that if you could find a twenty-something professional in London without a mobile you would take off your shirt and eat it. Made me laugh. Hysterical.

I'm not sure how funny any of those would be if they were delivered as a speech, though.

Saxon said... [reply]

whats a snapple bottle?

I think any of your posts where you poke gentle fun at some parts of LDS culture are good.

especially the one about the lessons on the law of chastity and the chewed gum analogy.

It always makes me smile in lessons when we talk about the law of chastity because I always remember that post

Nemesis said... [reply]

Sherry, thank you! I actually had so much fun writing that movie review. So thanks for the suggestions!

Saxon, Snapple is a brand of iced teas & juices that was very popular when I was in high school. Rumor was that a guy in our freshman dorms would urinate in them when he couldn't be bothered to walk down the hall to the bathroom. And then he would leave them in other people's room. Because that's charming.

Anonymous said... [reply]

I read your blog on my lunch hour. Next time I will make sure I SWALLOW my food just in case there's another edition of Corns of Our Toes. *gag*

Desmama said... [reply]

Remember waaaaaay back when you posted about playing your flute at the prison? And how you found out on your way up there that it was like, sex offender night or something? That was really, really funny.

Maggie said... [reply]

How to pick just one or two?? Well, I loved your post to parents of L**** and environs about appropriate places to bring their screaming brats...er, angels. Also loved the recent post to your landlord about the condition of your driveway and using fertilizer in an attempt to get out. (M2nd)

lilcis said... [reply]

I liked the one about you're friend who's mom wanted her to plan her sister's wedding. Whatever happened with that situation, anyway?

Anonymous said... [reply]

I think the most adorable posts are the ones where you say sweet things about your mom..............hehe

jeri said... [reply]

The post that made me laugh the hardest, as in "spray Pepsi on the monitor" hardest, was the one called "Riiiiight" where you refer to the Christ-like qualities of children. Because that really it home.

Oh, and the one where you wanted to tell the guy in front of you in church that his girlfriend wasn't really that awesome, because she was clad head-to-toe in denim.

And the one where your friend had to try on wedding dresses for her sister because Bridezilla was too busy. So those are my votes.

MadMadameMim said... [reply]

my favorite post was the one that got me totally hooked on your site. I was laughing so hard I was seriously in danger of hyperventilating, as I have a terrible child damaged memories and can't recall the actually name I fondly refer to it as "the nut-sack post" it still brings tears to my eyes :)!!!!!!!!!!

The Stancliff Family said... [reply]

So the one was the most memorable for me was one where you posted about an LDS online dating service. I was DYING (in a good way, from laughter, you know). Anyway, you had some excerpts from the user's profiles and they were so funny. So funny that I read your post to multiple people. By the way, I have since tried to find this one but haven't been successful. Any hints on where to look?

The Stancliff Family said... [reply]

OH NO. I left out a word in the very first sentence. I am always so paranoid about grammatical errors when commenting on a former editor's blog!

April said... [reply]

This was easy because I just sent some links to my non-blog-reading friend as a way to lure her into my world. My favorites are:

2/1/07 During Which I Experience...
7/3/07 I Weep for the Future...
6/5/07 You Obviously Don't Know...
6/11/07 So What Can You Do
4/30/07 Riiiiight...
1/30/07 Why We Don't Drop Infants...

Eva said... [reply]

my favorites are your cute little rants about stupid people not taking care of their kids :-)

Tusk said... [reply]

The one where you diss the brits for liking sweetcorn. Which is delicious. And should be in everything.

Sherry said... [reply]

Doh! It wasn't a review of Beauty and the Beast, but of Anxiously Engaged. I know that you knew what I meant, but I wanted to clarify for those others.

But really, what's the difference? They are both probably equally bad. I don't know because I did not see either of them.

April said... [reply]

I love reading about those wacky library patrons--mostly because I can relate. But even if I'd never worked in a library, they're still really funny.

Nemesis said... [reply]

These are wonderful, PLEASE keep them coming!

Miss Hass said... [reply]

I agree with lilcis. That was a good one. I really love your indignant rants. All of them.

skye said... [reply]

There really are too many to choose from, but of the few I just rescanned, these were my favorites.

Letter to the parents. . . 12.10.07
Forget the high road. . . 8.30.07
I hate everyone. . . 6.20.07
Today's soapbox. . . 5.15.07
Actually, I do mind. . . 4.03.07

And I believe they'd make excellent speeches.

Please be sure to tell us which one you end up using! :)

Lady Susan said... [reply]

Very difficult to narrow it down but here I go:
10-2005 my-colors-are-blush-and-bashful
11-2006 blind-date-scoop
10-2007 this-will-likely-be-anticlimactic
03 2007 must-mock

I must admit that I highly enjoy all references to drying/graying ovaries and egg freezing.

Natalie said... [reply]

I loved the LDS dating site and Bridezilla, but IMHO, the very best was the wedding invitation poem. I am laughing right now just thinking about it.

BEFore said... [reply]

For the lazy. Which would have been me, but oh well.

The prison one:

The try-on-a-wedding-dress one:







LDS Dating Site

I'm sorry if I didn't hunt down YOUR avowed favorite. My ADD kicked in. But I DID find some funny posts I hadn't read, so thanks ya'll. :P

BEFore said... [reply]

Oooooh, looks like you'll have to copy the entire line to be able to use those. I should have HTML-ized it.

Anyway, on the subject of "Are you aware of your breasts?" -- Corinne (the engaged girl who lives in England but came to visit) is the creator of:
Apparently she's a crusader for breast-cancer awareness. But she likes Alias, so you know she's not an insane crusader. Just in case you wondered.

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