People who thought it was okay to call me on my honeymoon

9:00am Sunday, also known as The Morning After. My phone was in the car, but it turns out my mother called and left a message wanting to know how things were going and if we'd made plans for church.

8:46am Monday, our first morning in San Diego. We were just waking up (and stuff) when I heard my phone buzzing. Figured this must mean someone was dying so I answered it. This was a mistake. It was someone from the HR department at my recently-ended job.

Me: "Hel-lo?"

HR person, brightly: "Hi!"

Me: "Um . . . hey."

HR: "How was the wedding?"

Me: "Fine . . . "


HR: "Is this a bad time?"

Well, since I got married all of 45 minutes ago and it's the crack of dawn, YEAH it's a bad time.

Me: "No, it's fine, what's up."

HR: "Well, remember before you left when you called to see if there was any paperwork you needed to fill out or anything and I said no, you were all set? Well it turns out I was forgetting a few things. Completely spaced on that."

Me: "Really."

I will not tell you how NOT a surprise this was to me.

HR: "Yep, so I'll need to ask you a few questions so I can process your last paycheck and get that out to you."

It was a special, special time. And what makes it even more special is that someone else from the office called later in the week and left a message tell me that she was sorry but my paycheck wouldn't be deposited right away because there had been " . . . a lapse . . . " (nice code for "someone screwed up") and it would come the following Monday. Again: No surprise at all.

The other phone conversation I had was with my brother coolboy. He sent me a text that read "Hey, I know you're probably busy but is there a time when I could talk to you?" I immediately assumed that he must be having a Situation so I phoned him right back so that I could offer counsel and emotional support.

CB: Hello?

Me: Hey, it's [Nem], I just got your text. What's up?

CB: Oh hey, yeah, I was just calling to ask you about mutual funds. You have some, right?

Blink. blink blink.

Me: You know what? I think this could wait until I get back.

CB: Oh. Okay then.

Me: Yeah.

Thank you though, to everyone who did not call me. Or who just texted. And I realize that I did make a phone call to Cicada but that's just because I was in an Italian market and needed to know if she wanted anything. She would have done the same for me if she stumbled into a British market on her honeymoon.


Azúcar said... [reply]

Calling on a honeymoon? Taaaaaaahcky.

Science Teacher Mommy said... [reply]

I don't know, mutual funds and paperwork can really set the mood. If you are a stock broker. Or an accountant. I guess.

Hannah said... [reply]

I should forward this post to J's family. They need to learn honeymoon etiquette.

Cicada said... [reply]

Yeah, I was going to make a comment like, "Wait a minute... didn't you call me on your honeymoon?" Or at least, "And weren't you on google chat a lot during your honeymoon, which is just really weird?"

Lady Susan said... [reply]

Please tell me that your mom had a good reason for calling you The Morning After.* I think that in this case....no news would be good news. And if you do decide to go to church on The Morning After, it really should be to a ward where you don't know anyone. Otherwise it is a bit uncomfortable for everyone involved.

*By this comment I mean no disrespect to your mother. Rather, this is what I would be thinking had any of my family called me The Morning After and asked me similar questions.

Nemesis said... [reply]

Yeah, Cicada raises a good point. I had my laptop with me just in case there was a signal--not because we intended to communicate with the outside world, but because I couldn't wait to see the pictures and recaps from Daltongirl and Cicada. So we used it for looking up San Diego stuff and addresses, and for getting our Internet fixes.

Kelly said... [reply]

I remember this one couple who showed up all bright and shiny for church on Sunday the day after their wedding and I just thought, "Really...?" I mean, I know church is important, but the day after?! I think God understands that there are priorities.

Maybe I'm just going to hell. All I know is, the day after my wedding, we weren't at church.

cooldad said... [reply]

Nem is so funny. she sometimes leaves out parts of a story for dramatic effect. Coolmom was calling because Nem had mentioned previously that she wanted us to meet with her and the new hubby that afternoon to watch them open wedding gifts before they left for the honeymoon. Coolmom was attempting to see if, when, and where this was to happen. Nem called back later that afternoon to say that she and hubby had decided to go ahead with the opening of the presents without coolmom and cooldad. We forgave her the error of not letting us know sooner and then dissing us completetly since it was her wedding and all.

April said... [reply]

The very next morning after my friend Jolene's wedding, her friend called all hysterical about how one of the wedding guests crashed into the pastor's car and the pastor was really upset. So Jolene called the pastor to apologize and find out the damage. The pastor, confused about why the bride was calling morning after her wedding, said that someone had just nudged the bumper of her car and there wasn't any damage at all.

So, to sum up, people are idiots. Happy Honeymooning!

Jon Boy said... [reply]

Nobody called me on my honeymoon, and I don't think we called anybody. It was beautiful.

However, I believe we showed up to church the day after the wedding. Not our new married ward, though (that would've been really weird). We just found some random ward. And I think maybe we just stayed for sacrament. But still, what were we thinking?

Nemesis said... [reply]

Wow, SPEAKING of going for dramatic effect there, Dad . . .

cooldad said... [reply]

Just the facts...just t he facts.

TheMoncurs said... [reply]

When my friend got married the sealer specifically instructed them to ALWAYS go to church, honeymoon included. So the next day they showed up to the ward she had grown up in. She told me that everyone kind of ignored them and she was kind of put off by that. I have to imagine that it's because most of the ward had seen them the previous evening and didn't want to be like, "So, how's it been going since..I last saw you..ahem."

Th. said... [reply]


Further evidence cellphones are evil.

Mrs. Hass-Bark said... [reply]

Yeah, we definitely went call-less on our honeymoon. Thank heaven! We had to handle a few calls two days later for the reception, but that was it. So sorry!

Janssen said... [reply]

Hahah. . oh dear.

Audrey said... [reply]

My brother called me from his honeymoon to ask me if I could get online and find out where the closest Blockbuster was to where they were staying. I was like, "Really? You really can't find anything more interesting to do right now on your HONEYMOON than go rent a movie from Blockbuster?"

I am nearly 100% certain that Blockbuster will not be remotely involved in my honeymoon, and after reading this post I have determined that my phone will be turned off the entire time.

Nells-Bells said... [reply]

Hahahaha! Mutual funds. Hahahaha!! What a kick in the pants. We were lucky. NO ONE called us while on our honeymoon. I did call my parents just to let them know we were okay. Oh. And the time we locked our keys in the car. That was a blast. My dad said he laughed all the way to the hotel and back. :)

Pie said... [reply]

I've been a reader for a while and thought it was time to pipe up and congratulate you on your lovely wedding! I'm the sister of a friend of Amyjane's, so that makes you and me practically related :)

On the Morning After my wedding, Brand Spanking New Husband was putting our luggage in the car when a Nasty Biker Chick comes up to him:

NBC: See this tattoo on my arm? (a heart with tally marks)

BSNH: yea...

NBC: It's the number of men I've slept with that were half my age. I'll be in room 17 if you need me.

I maybe would've preferred a phone call...but that's just me. Glad you had a good time!

kip said... [reply]

I also saw Nem on google chat a lot but refrained from initiating any chats out of a respect for honeymoon etiquette.

Pamela said... [reply]

I came across your blog through a friend, hope you don't mind. I've enjoyed reading when I need a few chuckles.

We had the same thing happen to us. My mother called from the airport (at 7am) the day after the wedding to see if we were going to meet them before leaving. Uh, right. And then my husband's siblings sent us texts that evening to let us know they were all at Sizzler wondering what we were up to. I should make sure to text them when they get married. And to top it off, my new husband's work called to see if he could cover a shift on Monday morning. I don't think people will ever learn. Or maybe it's because it happened to them and they want others to feel of the ackwardness?

AmandaStretch said... [reply]

My roommate (before we lived together) had some friends show up at her house about two days after their wedding. "We're bored, so we thought we'd come see you." Um, yeah . . .

I'm all in favor of not even telling anyone where we are going (except maybe a quick text to say we arrived to our destination safely) and only turning the cell phones on once a day or so to check for emergencies.

Cicada said... [reply]

I'll also add that we couldn't have our cell phones on in Costa Rica for our vacation. We gave our parents a phone number of someone who'd know how to get ahold of a Costa Rican neighbor in case of emergency, but that was it. It was soooooo nice.

But of course the moment we arrived in the States again, we turned on our phones so that we could read what you and Daltongirl blogged about our wedding.

Azúcar said... [reply]

Let me clarify, accept a call from your parents always.

April's story of Jolene's morning after is exactly what I was thinking when I mentioned a honeymoon call. Unbelievable.

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