While we're pinning all our hopes and dreams on one man

Did everyone watch the inauguration today? Or are you planning to? Have been excited about this ever since Election Day and am happy to report that Michelle Obama's coat was awesome. Whew.

While watching the coverage this morning I realized that I missed a prime opportunity to do a bit of live blogging, especially during the parts where all the staff and Cabinet and such were walking down to their seats.

Me: That lady's American flag scarf is a bit much, I think.

GH: Mmm.

Me: Except her husband has that really natty fedora on, so . . .

And then we both made the "balancing the scales" hand gesture.

One thing I've been thinking about for the last few days is how this inauguration seems roughly on par with the wedding of Charles and Diana. (Get your commemorative plates, pins, tea towels here!) Let's hope this thing goes better than that thing did.

But the other thing I'm thinking about is how much I do not envy anyone who is being handled the reins of the presidency right now. Especially someone who is being billed as Son of Promise, Child of Hope or He Who Has Come to Save Us All in the Manner of Jesus As Foretold By Ancient Prophecy.

Because really, how can anyone live up to that? I mean, no matter what the man says about what is and it not possible, you know there people out there who are going to expect way too much of one person. So. While we're handing out unrealistic expectations for the new President, I'd like to add a few of my own:

Get rid of plastic grocery bags like they did in China. Because that would be awesome.

Please go back in time and cancel No Child Left Behind.

Fix the part where women are still earning less than men for doing the same jobs.

Ban gum chewing, because people don't seem to be able to do it without showing me their tonsils.

Please make everyone understand the value of libraries, or at least make the bunker-livers shut up about what a waste of tax dollars they are.

Let's get rid of Hummers for personal use. Because they're just stupid and take the Compensating for Something syndrome to new levels of unattractiveness.

How about getting some more English Oaks over here? I love me an English Oak. Also hedgerows. Let's get some of those too.

Outlaw leggings. Immediately.

Anybody have some to add? I'd love to hear 'em.

Of course, at some point I remember that a President can't do all these things, even if he agrees with me about the leggings. Which, hi, he totally should and probably does and dreads the day when his little girls want to go out in public wearing them, because then the terrorists will have won.

And then I realize that what we CAN do is become more aware of and put more effort into our local, county, and state governments. Too many of us (ME being the absolute worst offender of all time) know next to nothing about what is happening there and have never even tried to educate ourselves or make our voices heard. And then we complain about the kind of officials who get elected and the kind of laws that get passed (or don't). I think at least in Utah we fall into the trap of supposing that if we elect people who belong to our party or our religion (and they are two different things, ahem) then we can sit back and rest easy in the knowledge that everything is being taken care of nicely and we don't need to take any further notice.

Which, hi, no. I think we need to do more than that and I think we need to know more than that. Again, I am the worst about this. It has taken me roughly 10 years of living in Utah to finally realize that this is my actual home now and that what happens here affects me, my family, and the people I work and play and worship with.

So. That is my plan to help out the Son of Promise--by being a better citizen myself. Also by avoiding leggings. And Hummers.


Liz Johnson said... [reply]

You can actually track your representatives' actions at www.govtrack.us, and even add a widget to your blog or suscribe to an RSS feed that will inform you of every bill they sponsor and vote they take. It really takes a lot of the work out of it. :)

And leggings really should go.

Nemesis said... [reply]

Ooooh, nice one Liz! See? These are things I need in my life. So clever.

Sherry said... [reply]

Yes, I would like to add to the list.

I think the Son of Promise should make a law that gets me a job. A good job. That's all I ask. :)

I'm totally with you on outlawing leggings and hummers. Don't you look forward to telling your great grandaughters that you never did anything so foolish as to wear leggings or drive a Hummer? I do.

Janssen said... [reply]

I would totally outlaw flip-flops in church. Because that is wrong.

I would also fine people who threw recyclable things away when there was a recycle bin RIGHT NEXT TO THE GARBAGE CAN.

P.S. Because I am the type of person that cannot leave well enough alone, I would also outlaw partial feeds (all hail Feedburner and Google Analytics as ways to track readership without subjecting readers to a partial feed).

EmAndTrev said... [reply]

Well said. The title of this blog post alone had me nodding my head in agreement. It is definitely a day for the record books. It would also be lovely if we could rid the world of Hummers (in their capacity as mall crawlers). And leggings. Except for those worn by my three-year-old, in which case they're okay.

AmandaStretch said... [reply]

My 82 layers, 2.5 million of my closest friends, and I actually went to the Inauguration. It was really cold, and we stood for a looong time, but by golly, it was awesome.

Jenny said... [reply]

Son of Promise, Child of hope?
I'd really like to see him maintain STRICT eye contact with someone who calls him that. Seriously. I'd be scared. I'd like to see you take a poll about how long this love-fest is going to last. How long till the ratings start to dip? Because never do the American people stay enamored with the man holding this job for very long in a consecutive stretch. Dang. Why would anyone want that job, anyway?

Nemesis said... [reply]

Janssen, your hints are very vague, but I believe I can decipher them. Am looking into getting Google Analytics on my feed, do not despair.

CoolBoy said... [reply]

I heard he was transfigured and angels came down and gave him the keys of administrating the kingdom of heaven! I can't BELIEVE I missed that!

He should outlaw the BCS. It's a piece of junk.

beckyww said... [reply]

Let's all show our birth certificates, shall we? The real ones.

Jenny said... [reply]

You KNOW he's working on the BCS about as hard as he's working on the stimulus package, coolboy. Hasn't he scheduled or already met with some person to Put The Smack Down? Patience.

I would outlaw grownups who are no longer blonde but still insist on bleaching their hair. I hate it. Bleached highlights is one thing. When the top of your hair is white and the bottom layer is dark dark brown that is just annoying. Stop doing it. Give yourself a more natural look. We all cannot be immortal youths or Gwyneth Paltrow.

stacey said... [reply]

The Son of Promise will not outlaw leggings because his wife AND daughters have been photograhped in them. I think that means they like them and well, he wouldn't want to piss of the 1st Lady would he?

Scully said... [reply]

AMEN! That was also my commitment to myself after watching the inauguration. You should have heard the sighs of relief and outright cheers on my liberal Western Washington campus after the Oath of Office was finished. And I will join any campaign against leggings, Hummers, and No Child Left Behind. Where is Doc and his DeLorean when you need him?

Science Teacher Mommy said... [reply]

I'm wondering if there should be laws about hats like Aretha Franklin's. I mean, what was THAT all about? Her song was nice enough, I suppose, but I was really so distracted by the behometh bow on the front of her chapeau that it was nearly impossible to pay attention.

And in four years, could Roberts and Obama (or whoever the new schmuck is when the Son of Promise gets his turn being run out of town) PRACTICE first before trying to say the Oath of Office. I'm not sure it is something you should just wing, you know? I'm still not sure SOP repeated what he was meant to say. Is he really the president?

coolmom said... [reply]

Janssen, I think actually flip flops ( and other beach like attire)might have already been banned (or at least mentioned in a very negative way) at church but some people must've missed the memo. (That would be those who don't pay attention to General Conference.) Unless I dreamed it. But I am behind you 100%!

Audra said... [reply]

I laughed when he flubbed the Oath of Office (or Levi said it was the judge's fault... I bet the media won't harp on it, because Obama does no wrong)! I thought "Yeah, he is not PERFECT!"

That said, being the republican I am, I am still happy he was elected and was happy to see his inaguration, and I hope he does great things! And it was nice to see an AA president being sworn in as I sit at the lunch table with my all-different-colors kids and they really have no clue that it is a big deal that he is AA because they are the most colorblind kids in the world! So, I am excited to see what he does, and I hope he can take some pressure off teachers in at-risk schools when they are supposed to perform like the "rich side of town" schools, so they spend the day cramming the material into the kids so they can pass the test! And then if they are caught not cramming the principals panick and say "No playing, smiling, or having fun... cram cram cram!!! We have numbers to make!" So, ditto on getting rid on the no child left behind!

AmandaStretch said... [reply]

STM - I decided that only Aretha Franklin can pull a hat like that off. Everyone else would look ridiculous.

Also, it looked to me (on the Jumbotron on the Mall) that the judge messed it up first, but I could be wrong.

Still, maybe he really isn't president . . .

Scully said... [reply]

Audra, the flub was highlighted by quite a few outlets because some are calling for a redo to make it completely legitimate. Slate has the transcript and what, exactly went wrong. Both the President and the Chief Justices made some mistakes. http://www.slate.com/id/2209298/

Kelly said... [reply]

According to the 20th Amendment, the president is the president as of noon on January 20th. The oath is really just a formality.

amyjane said... [reply]

Hee. I love you sometimes. Most times, really, but yes. And yes. And yes.
Being a SAHM I had the fun opportunity to watch news coverage pretty much ALL DAY, kind of like the accident that you just can't look away from even though they're just replaying the same coverage over and over again? Anyway, I had a lot of these same thoughts. He seems like a good man, I'm looking forward to positive change but REALLY. He's just a man. We can all change for the better and help the guy along but this One Historic Day may not be enough to get us all translated.

heidikins said... [reply]

I resolve to not wear leggings...because really, the inversion is enough to make one nauseous, leggings just make it worse.

Ditto on Janssen and the flip-flops at church.

Aaaaand, I'd also like to banish those ginormous bags that you can put a small child inside and lug around on your shoulder. Shudder.


Yankee Girl said... [reply]

I guess you didn't notice that he was chewing gum after the lunch as he drove back up to the Whitehouse?

Audra said... [reply]

Scully- Thanks! I watched the "real" news on and off after the event... but I had heard nothing of it. I just thought kind of like Kelly, if it is said wrong it really does not matter. It is more for show and a ceremony of sorts. Kind of like getting married, you sign the licence and the officators signature means you are legally married, even if the wedding vows got all flubbed up :)! I just liked the little reminder that he is indeed human and not diety! Although I must say I admire him a lot and am looking forward to his presidency... despite my southern yellow dog republcan ways... haha!

But truth be told: I probably did not hear the speculation because I was watching yesterday more of my... gulp... "fun" news: Colbert Report, TMZ, The Daily Show, Oprah! I truly am the Queen of getting my news through trashy sources! I love to hear what celebrities were there, what Michelle Obama was wearing, who sang the best song... Basically it is good stuff to have in the background while cooking dinner and doing dished :)!

Cafe Johnsonia said... [reply]

Oh...you and I could totally be best friends.

Stephanie N. said... [reply]

please tell me that someone was not suggesting that obama is not a "real" american and that his birth certificate is "fake"

please tell me i'm over-thinking that comment.

liz johnson, whoever you are, you've done me a solid by telling us about that govtrack thing.

and lastly, i nominate to keep no child left behind (it's been around since the 70's under various titles and has actually done good things for minorities and special ed. students) except remove all the additions the bush administration made. (i.e. unrealistic standards that force teachers to resort to cramming instead of teaching.)

and also, no leggings.

rant over.

rant over.

Nadia and Jeremy said... [reply]

I'd outlaw the pollution in SLC and skinny jeans (those are kind of like leggings...but honestly they don't look good on anybody either).

Fiyero said... [reply]

Skinny jeans may not look good on Utahised women. But here in Europe, where we have attractive ladies, they can be very pleasing to they eye. However they should never ever be seen on any self respecting man.

JustMe said... [reply]

“Son of Promise” sounds good, but I refer to him as “The Anointed one”.

You can wear leggings if you promise to NEVER chew gum, especially on the stand at church. I once had a teacher who said “Chewing gum makes you look like a cow chewing its cud.” My mother didn’t allow gum and I didn’t allow my children to chew it either.

Please don’t outlaw Hummers. When I am filthy rich I plan to buy a Hummer and have it painted pink with purple stripes. Tastefully lettered on the back it will say “All cash – no taste”.

You are my new favorite blogger. I really enjoy you thoughts.

Desmama said... [reply]

Back to the Obama oath thing--he retook the oath later, so there "wouldn't be any mistake," which is weird since, as Kelly pointed out, taking the oath is really a formality (as far as I'm aware). At any rate . . . here's the link (I'm too lazy to hyperlink it): http://www.cnn.com/2009/POLITICS/01/21/obama.oath/index.html#cnnSTCOther1

abby said... [reply]

I talked to some African American co-workers about Aretha's hat. They loved it. I guess beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I personally thought that hat was going to fly away on the wings of the bow.

The legal news has been abuzz about the oath flub. Obama redid it the next day.

As Kelly said, he's still the president at noon that day. It's not like Roberts messed up the sacrament prayer.

Paige said... [reply]

THANK YOU for this! A friend showed it to me because she said it reminded her of me.
Check this out...my husband is the Ward Mission Leader which is extremely time consuming. I am the 1st counselor in the Relief Society Presidency. We also are expecting our 6th baby. We are completely overwhelmed with all the church duties as well as trying to balance 5 children, ages 15, 13, 10, 7 and 3 and then we will have a newborn in about 8 weeks. My husbands calling alone involves me SO much.We have correlation mtgs here every week, a fireside once a month, we feed the missionaries every week, I have a presidency mtg every other week on top of everything else. Our stake seems to loooove training mtgs and mtgs of all kinds! They have not read Elder Ballards talk! I am trying to balance 4 kids in 3 different schools, one that is in seminary, 3 are in scouts, one is home with me 24/7 and I am huge and cranky. So when I hear that sister so and so needs meals brought in for a hangnail or sister so and so should get released from her once a month calling cause she's about to have newborn and 2 other kids, I want to scream "WHAT ABOUT ME??" I'm about to have a newborn and FIVE other kids and we have 2 callings that are very heavy! Oh, and last week my son was called as the Teacher Quorum President. Let's put us aaaaall in leadeship positions and see how soon until we break. Ugh.
Last Saturday I spent 4 1/2hours doing a funeral luncheon. The same day I planned my husbands suprise bday party.Then we got an email saying sister so and so just moved and needed someone to clean her empty house that same day. Forget it. I was so wiped out that I actually missed church the next day. I ached and my feet were swollen from standing so much. Same as when we had so many sisters we were supposed to visit each month that i wasn't even getting my reg. vting done! How's that for messed up?? I finally had to point that out.
Wow, thanks for the laugh AND the vent! lol

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