You're still you

Yesterday I drove downtown to the Capitol Theatre to try my luck at the Wicked tickets drawing that takes place before each performance. You show up, put your name on an index card, put it in a cauldron (because hi, witches), and 30 minutes later they draw 10 names. If your name is called, you can buy 2 tickets for that night's performance. You pay $25 in cash for each ticket, which you then wave in the faces of scalpers while you tell them what they can go do to themselves.

I knew there would probably be a big crowd. What I forgot was that the crowd would be made up of Utahn cultural-performance-goers. So, you know, pretty much my most favorite people in the world, right up there with suicide bombers. (Motto for both groups: Let's go ruin it for everybody!)

I must send out a big thank you to Daltongirl and Lola, who waited in line with me and kept my brain inside of my ears and my claustrophobia at bay while we chatted about things like knitting and Facebook and junior high courtship rituals, which consist of girls hissing things like "Just go talk to him!" and "Ohmygosh not so LOUD, I will!!!!" at each other repeatedly. I'm sorry you two didn't get tickets.

And now for the other notes of thanks.

Thank you, families who brought every single child you own (and remember, this is Utah, so that number can get quite high) to the theatre so you could submit more names into the bucket than anyone else. That didn't suck of you at all. Never even mind the part where there's no way you planned on actually taking your five preschool- and elementary-aged children to the play. Unless, of course, you actually did, which leads us to:

Thank you, parents who fully planned to take 3, 4, 5, and 6 year olds to the performance. Because that is absolutely who the show is for, and there's no way your kids could ever bother anyone else by getting bored, or tired, or antsy, or insane between the hours of 7:30 and 10:30pm.

Thank you, dad who urged your 10-year-old daughter to gaze soulfully into your eyes while singing Defying Gravity right next to me. That was a highlight. Also, I suspect that you might be creepy.

Thank YOU, red-scarfed old lady who never once moved from her spot on the sidewalk even as theatre employees were pleading for everyone to please make room for those who needed to exit the building, like me. You're lucky I'm a gentlewoman, because you were SO very close to getting elbowed. Thanks again for ignoring the fact that an actual ticket winner was trying to make his way around you to get to the front, and for just standing there determinedly in his path. I'm sure that helped your chances.

Thank you, Wicked employees, for drawing the name of a lady who looked like she was not at all excited to have just won, and in fact possibly did not even know what the drawing was even for.

Thank you, parking garage, for charging $4 to park for one hour. That was awesome.

Much love,



Jenny said... [reply]

All those are good reasons to go to see Wicked in another city.

Nemesis said... [reply]

Yeah they are. San Francisco, anyone?

megs said... [reply]

So I take it you didn't get a ticket??? Darn it all!!! Wicked is by far my favorite play ever! (Well maybe not ever, but at least right now. I also really really love Les Miserables.)

Ooh ooh I know, just for all your pain I will sneak a camera in when I go and see it and I will record the whole thing for you :) (Actually I think that may be illegal... humph...)

katydid said... [reply]

hahaha holy toleto. a pal just alerted me to your blog. hilarious. and so true! i heard wicked was coming here, and happy thoughts lasted for about forty-nine seconds (which is when i realized this is utah, where everyone and their dog shows up for such an event). thank goodness for the soundtrack.

AmyJane said... [reply]

So, I take it you did indeed get to see the show? You neglected the important part of: was it any good? I mean, it's ALWAYS good, but was this particular show good?

Also, my friends and I are plotting to run away from our husbands and kids and go to SF and see it there. Wanna come?

Nemesis said... [reply]

Oh, and no way did I get to see the show, sorry. If I HAD, I would perhaps not have been in as bad a mood over the potentially-polygamous families who ruined my chances!

Breanne said... [reply]

I often wonder, when I attend an event and become so annoyed/frustrated by everyone around me that I start glaring and the person I'm with asks me if I'm all right: is it just me? Do I have a bad attitude? Am I ruining this for myself by noticing all of this craziness? I found your post incredibly liberating, because I now think: 1. It's not just me. and 2. People are crazy and annoying and frustrating at events. Thank you.

beckyww said... [reply]

I heard ads for "Wicked" in San Antonio today. You've scared me out of it. Thanks, Nem. :-)

Sherry said... [reply]

So this is what I have to look forward to tomorrow night. With my mother-in-law.

Thanks for the warning.

Giggles said... [reply]

Sounds like you had a great time!

goddessdivine said... [reply]

Utah = idiotic behavior

Next time you should round up some kids and just take them with you, so you can increase your chances of winning.

Kristeee said... [reply]

I think there are some venues that should have age restrictions. Children under 8 aren't allowed for performances in the Conference Center, for example.

And you were brave. I'm getting more agoraphobic (or fuddy-duddy-ish) the older I get, so I try to avoid such events. :)

Maybe you should take advantage of some great flight prices and take GH to NYC for the real deal.

Lola said... [reply]

I wanted to punch a couple of people, especially that lady that when her daughter's(?) name got drawn and she yelled, "Oh my gosh! It's her birthday present!"

Um. Mine too. Thanks for making me want to run away crying.

Ravishing Rick Rude said... [reply]

Hello. I live in England. If I wish to see Wicked I can buy a ticket for as little as 17 English pounds direct from the theatre for a show next month.

Remember living in England? Where salads are free from dessert. :b

Th. said... [reply]


Not a single kid or cellphone in SF last Wednesday.

AmandaStretch said... [reply]

And now I'm reminded why I like attending the theatre on the East Coast. We know how to behave. :) Usually. Except tourists. Clueless.

lilcis said... [reply]

I stood in line for the pre-show ticket drawing in LA last year. There weren't a ton of people there, we got in line pretty early so we were in the front. Which turned out not to be a good thing. They took names for about 45 minutes before the drawing, and with a minute to spare a scalper casually walked up and added his name to the bucket. And wouldn't you know, his name was drawn. So if you try it again I recommend using his method. I had the feeling he did it before every show, because the guy in charge of the drawing seemed to give him a stern lecture before giving him his tickets.

Miss M said... [reply]

Oh, I feel your pain. Why, why are there so many clueless, idoitic people in this state? And why do they have to ever be around those of us who are polite and sane and mindful of others?

This is why I am seeing Wicked in SF next month. You're welcome to come along.

Chillygator said... [reply]

I really want to see it in SF!

I also wanted to do the lotto just for the experience, so if you're doing it again, I'll come add my name for you.

Mrs. Clark said... [reply]

Oh, I can just imagine the scene. You're making me glad I don't live in Utah--which is where I was last month when my husband and daughter were seeing Wicked in London. Yes, England.

Laurel Jensen said... [reply]

Okay, Steph... I saw Wicked yesterday. I paid $88.00 a seat but we were up close and personal and I enjoyed it more than the first time in L.A. I didn't see any little people (under 6) in there, but the line for the women's restoom was incredible (...ly long) at intermission! I hope you get your way eventually! Laurel

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