6.01.2009

But I never got to be a mother!

This morning I reached down past my skirt to scratch my bare leg and felt a large hard lump on my calf. For a split-second I was terrified that it was a tumor and I was about to die. Then I realized that it was my rock-hard, grapefruit-sized calf muscle. On account of I have worked out like 7 times in the past two weeks. And that is the kind of instant gratification with which my body (or at least the leg portion of my body) chooses to reward me.

I tell you. It's a good thing they're only 2 feet long and so pale and translucent as to resemble zebra haunches (if they were to make white & blue zebras) because otherwise? These legs would make you cry.

(Note: What is extra awesome about my oh-my-gosh-I-have-a-leg-tumor-and-now-I'm-going-to-die experience is that I forgot the part where I already had one exactly like it over two years ago. So, you know, the last time I was working out.)

(Note the Second: I was going to go find a body-building woman pic to post here so you'd know how hot my legs are except I did a Google image search and then I had to go pour Clorox into my eyes at how awful it all was. You can go look here, but I beg you not to. Seriously. You shouldn't.)

8 comments:

Natalie said... [reply]

Congratulations on the awesome calves.

Also, I ignored your impassioned warnings and looked at the pictures. I think the lady (can you call female bodybuilders 'lady'?) on all fours looks like an incredibly scary dog.

Moral of this story? Know when to say when.

coolmom said... [reply]

That one guy reminds of the balloons in that "Up" movie, sort of waiting to take off.

Science Teacher Mommy said... [reply]

When I think of women body builders I get an image in my head of that woman who was married to the Rex Kwon Do guy in Napoleon Dynamite. She might have been a man.

Jenny said... [reply]

Phew! What a scare.
And only to find out how awesome you are. What a relief to be sure.

Scrappycook said... [reply]

Oh, my eyes!!!! Yikes. I even thing my pasty white flab looks better than that - maybe.

cropstar said... [reply]

i wasn't going to look until you told me to look and all i can say is wow. just... wow.

Audra said... [reply]

Did you know a lot of these major body builders can not wipe their own behinds?

Just something to think about!

Levi told me that!

Now, I challenge you not to put your arms to your side like you have big muscles and see if you think you could reach your behind if you were built that way!

It could be a myth... but it is something to think about!

april said... [reply]

curiousity got the better of me, and yes, i should NOT have looked!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (i just don't think i can put enough exclamation points there.)

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