Thanne longen folk to goon on pilgrimages

Multiple points for you if you catch the reference. Plus it will make me happy to think that there were people out there spending just as much time NOT kissing boys in high school as I was.

Last week GH and I hit the new In-N-Out that opened up in Draper. There were several highlights, the most surprising of which was GH's strawberry milkshake--I don't even care about strawberry milkshakes but daaaaang that was good.

Also there was the part where we really were, in fact, in and out. Even though there were loads of people, they had everything moving at a very fast and smooth pace. Within 10 minutes of walking through the door we were sitting down eating on a clean table. They imported a seasoned crew from California to get them through the first several weeks, which seemed very smart. You could tell that there was plenty of training going on and all the staff seemed cheerful and capable. (Then again, after the baptism-by-fire that was the opening weekend with its traffic directing and 2-hour lines, our crowd could have seemed like nothing.)

This is where I have to tell a story that is not mine. From the looks of things, everybody in the store was trying to be courteous about the seating thing. There was maybe a tiny bit of circling and hovering as people tried to stake out tables, and people who were eating left quickly when they were finished. So it seemed like everyone was being taken care of. When I told my sister about this, she shared with me the awesome experience that just happened to my friend (and blog designer) Jeri. Jeri and her crew went to In-N-Out, got their food, waited for a table to be cleaned, and then made their way over there. Just before they sat down, a woman behind them threw her purse over their heads so that it landed on the table, then shoved her way past them and sat down, all the while refusing to make eye contact. So Jeri, her small children, and her pregnant sister-in-law just sort of stood there, stunned.

At this point a nearby group of men, who had seen the whole thing, started laughing at that crazy beast and invited Jeri and her family to come over, where they made some room for them to sit. Because they were nice. And not crazy insane people like some other purse-throwers I could mention. Seriously, people. It's a table. At which you are going to eat a burger. Seriously. Do you really want those kind of karma points over a burger? Technically you should never behave like that at all, ever, but it just seems especially stupid over something so small.

But back to my meal, which did not contain purse-throwing. It did contain highlight #3, which was when an attractive, smiling woman stopped by our table and said "Excuse me," just as I was unhinging my jaw to take another bite out of my Double-Double Animal Style burger. For a second I thought maybe I had accidentally inhaled a small child of hers during my frenzy and she wanted it back, but no. Turns out she is a reader of this blog and just wanted to say hi. (Hee! I got to feel semi-famous!) So I chatted with the lovely Marci for a minute, which was delightful. After she left I realize that I forgot to properly introduce her to GH, because I am a jerk like that. I did, however, also refrain from introducing her to the massive zit on my chin which is named Chuck. So it's kind of even, I think.


Lisa said... [reply]

Ah, Chaucer. I had to memorize the Canterbury Tales in the 8th grade. In Middle English. So when I read the title to your post, I suffered from an involuntary shudder. Understandable, no?

Kim said... [reply]

Whan that Aprille with his shoures soote . . .

Oh, I don't think I'll ever forget that Prologue.

Jenny said... [reply]

I can't believe you named your zit Chuck. That is an insult to the name. Should Charlie Brown, Chuck Charles and Chuck the intersect be tainted? NO.

AuD said... [reply]

I became addicted to In & Out on my mission in Southern Cali. One of the best burger places!

Janssen said... [reply]

We went to In-n-Out a number of times before my husband ordered the chocolate shake. And then his life was never the same again.

Jonathon said... [reply]

I spent the entirety of my time in high school not kissing boys, so of course I got the reference.

FoxyJ said... [reply]

If Utah ever gets Trader Joe's I will no longer have a reason to move back to California... Sigh. Oh yeah, the beach.

I'm glad In-N-Out is here; when I crave a burger I'd rather eat there than other places. I've also rarely had a bad experience in the many different ones I've eaten at. The food is always fresh, the place is clean, and the employees are always nice. Even at the one in the scary strip mall near my parents' house in Vegas.

Anonymous said... [reply]

Heck, I have a lot of practice not kissing boys, so of course I understood your allusion. And I teach high school English, so there you go.
And I hope Purse Lady gets her comeuppance some time.
P.S.--Welcome back after your hiatus!

MommyJ said... [reply]

Holy cow to the purse throwing. That's wrong on all kinds of levels. As to meeting a reader in person... it's happened to me once. And I totally felt like a mini celebrity. The weirdest thing for me, in this particular case, is that this person was a little over the top excited... talked about my family like she knew them all, absolutely acted like we were best friends. Except... I didn't know anything beyond her first name. It was weird, to have someone know so much about me, without me knowing a single thing about them. Odd, but the nature of the blogging world, I guess.

MommyJ said... [reply]

Oh, and Jonathon's comment made me laugh out loud. I had a young woman tell me tonight at our meeting that she had to recite Canterbury Tales in her English class today. She asked if I remembered them. And all I could say was Ugh.

emandtrev said... [reply]

You have no idea of how hard you just made me laugh. Thanks for that! Purse-throwing and a zit named Chuck. I loved this post through and through.

Anonymous said... [reply]

Yay - I just got my computer working again - it's been down since Friday and I've been dying to see if you'd post about the delicious burgers there! Seriously so fun to meet you - I love your blog - thanks for the funny posts - and, btw, didn't even notice the zit. :)

Kelly said... [reply]

Canterbury Tales! My college Chaucer professor was this ancient man in his last semester of teaching who had spent significant amounts of time teaching at Oxford and who had a gravely voice a la Boyd K. Packer. I actually really loved listening to him read the Middle English.

And yeah, bad karma over a burger is really not worth it.

coolmom said... [reply]

Purse throwing? That's lower than saving whole rows of seats at the movie theatres (which I will never recover from, by the way). Oh well, too bad she had such good aim.

elliespen said... [reply]

Chuck as in Chuck Norris? Because that is one zit I would not want to mess with in that case.

Somehow I managed to escape the Canterbury Tales in high school, but I did spend a lot of time in college not kissing boys, so I suppose that makes up for it.

AmyJane said... [reply]

I really, really seriously miss In'n'Out. A lot. I SOOOO took it for granted when it was just down the street in Reno and we hardly ever even went there. Maybe one every other month. But still. Hardly ever. And then I go to Utah, all jazzed about Cafe Rio and Gandalfo's and the like and totally miss out on the In N Out. I think Sean had some while he was at Jenny's. The bum. (Sean, of course, not Jenny the lovely hostess). Anyway. I'm jealous and also salivating.

annie said... [reply]

i carry a laminated card with the prologue printed on it in my wallet that my ap english teacher gave us all just in case we ever forgot it. but after reciting it every week all of that year, i couldn't get it out of my head if i tried. even if i kiss boys.

Eva said... [reply]

You know what else is good? The vanilla shake.
I'm not quite sure why I ordered it the first time. I think it had something to do with pregnancy and heartburn.
Anyway, I'm a chocolate lover who orders a vanilla shake every time I go to in-n-out.

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