Letter to my neighbor

Dear Neighbor,

I am normally a dog lover. I do not, however, so much love your dog.

I do not love the way that it growls and rushes at me every single time our paths happen to cross. I do not love the way that you, sitting up on your balcony smoking (which, by the way, appears to be the only thing that you do, in life, ever) just call down, "He won't hurt you!" Cuz guess what? Being barked at and growled at and hounded by a miniature doberman is actually annoying enough without actual pain. I'm just saying.

This morning it was snowing. So I carefully made my way down my slushy apartment stairs, balancing several items in my arms, and about 5 steps from the bottom I heard the tell-tale bark and growl of your nasty little alpha rat. That animal followed me from my steps out to my car, growling all the way and darting around like it was going to go for my ankle.

You might have heard me repeating aloud the words of "I will kick you in the face, I will kick you in the face, I will kick you in the face." When I got close enough to your balcony for you, smoking in a Slanket, to notice, you just called out "He won't hurt you . . . sorry."

Here's the thing. I almost wanted your dog to nip my ankle, because then I would have had the satisfaction of lashing out with my massive, prehistoric Danskos and possibly breaking something. And I'm a dog lover!!!

Also? This is the third time your dog has harassed me. I can only assume he does this to everyone, which would include children and people who have a legitimate fear of dogs. Clearly, your animal does not belong off a leash when there are people around (or even the possibility of people, which, in a large apartment complex, is pretty much a given). And you can hold a leash and a cigarette at the same time, lady.

Will be wearing heavy shoes from now on,


So, friends. Here's where I need the advice. Do I just accept that I'm having a cranky day and let it go? Do I call the office and make a complaint against her and her little dog too? Do I tell her that I'll be making a complaint if her dog bothers me again? Or, you know, that I'll be kicking her dog in the face?

What to do?


Zannah said... [reply]

It may feel like today is just A Day of Crank, but I think you ought to call and report the dog. I'd be surprised if Neighbor's dog-related behavior weren't against your complex's policy (id est, not letting dogs outside off of leashes) and if you don't stand up for the little people who will?

Seriously, though. Call.

Elsha said... [reply]

Make the complaint. If this dog is getting to you and you're a dog lover (normally) it's DEFINITELY annoying other people as well.

Señora H-B said... [reply]

hmmm...that's a tough one. Do you know if the dog bothers other people? Is the neighbor friendly? Do you know what your complex's leash policy is? Ours is strict, though we have an area where dogs can be off leash.

Our crotchety downstairs neighbors called the office because we "stomp" in our apartment. I wish they would have said something to us instead of complaining to the complex. But we're nice. If your neighbor's not nice, the office might be the best way to go.

You're less likely to be pegged as the perpetrator of the call if other people have to interact with the little dog. You can just feign innocence no matter what, though.

Seriously, though, as a dog owner, irresponsible care gives us all a bad name. My dog sat on the porch at our old apartment (and she sits on our balcony here), but she had a tie-out. She couldn't get down to where people were walking. She's also friendly and had a little fan-club that would stop and see her on their way to the mailboxes.

But, yeah, no matter what, something's got to give.

Nemesis said... [reply]

Hass, I have no idea if the neighbor is friendly or not. She just sits there on the porch and silently watches everyone. And she calls out "he won't hurt you" when her dog goes after people.

Nemesis said... [reply]

Our complex is very dog friendly and a lot of people have dogs. This is the only one that I've ever had a problem with--and it's hard to imagine I'm the only one he's barked at.

East of Eden said... [reply]

No, you make that complaint. I have been attacked TOO MANY TIMES to count by stupid dogs whose owners are under the impression that 'he won't bite/hurt you' etc. If the dog is barking and snapping, it will bite you eventually -- and then that will lead to other consequences and situations. Leash up, or shut up dog owners. No one likes your dog but you.

Mechanica said... [reply]

I think you should complain! My (now former) neighbor had dogs that would bark and keep us up at all hours of the night. My other neighbor finally complained, first to them but when they were rude and threatening back, he complained to animal control. It was such a night and day difference after that and I am still sooooo greatful to the neighbor who complained. They finally decided to move and take their 3 yappy dogs with them. Hurray! However, I too am usually a dog lover.

Bridget said... [reply]

Yeah, probably make a complaint. I get the feeling that if you complained directly to her, she'd just tell you "he won't hurt you."

Is a slanket like a snuggie, but skankier?

Holly (2 Kids and Tired) said... [reply]

Make the complaint. Seriously. If the dog does this to you, you can bet he does it to others and yours is probably not the first complaint. I'm not a dog lover, but I try and tolerate that others are. I do have, however, a child with a healthy fear of dogs. A fear we are working very diligently to overcome, and morons like this one don't help our situation.

Pet friendly complex or not, dogs need to be leashed. Period.

lilcis said... [reply]

I don't know what the Utah laws are for pets, but I say forget the complaint and go straight for animal control and report a vicious animal that's out without a leash! I doubt the complex will do much other than give her a warning. But animal control will probably take the dog away.

I'm pretty mean, though.

goddessdivine said... [reply]

One word: Taser.

Jenny said... [reply]

Hello yes you complain! Also, tell that woman the next time this happens her dog needs to be on a leash and you'll call animal control. Or just the next time you see her. That is total crap.

CoolBoy said... [reply]

Yeah, just do it. You'll only be doing everyone else a favor.

cooldad said... [reply]

Make the complaint and get yourself a can of pepper spray. I guarantee two things will happen if you spray the dog. 1) The dog will run anytime it sees you coming. 2) The owner will make sure the dog is never around you again. In all cases, problem solved.

Maggie said... [reply]

Report it to animal control. Our neighbor's dog was never on a leash and barked at everyone passing. Then I got fed up and filled out a complaint and guess what? The dog is now on a leash. Bonus is that I could fill it out online.

Brandi said... [reply]

Complain! Complain, complain, complain. And kick it in the face.

Someone is going to be the first person it hurts, regardless of what the owner says. And while you obviously don't want it to be you, I doubt you want it to be anybody else, either.

Make the complaint.

Bone Junior said... [reply]

I find that a little air-soft gun goes a long way.

I'm just saying.

Giggles said... [reply]

Complain, and see if you can't get a hold of a super soaker.

Ana said... [reply]

What to do...? Hmmm...we have "difficult" neighbours. One time we came home to find two sheep eating our lawn - but then that was some neighbours renting down the road...I know this probably seems quite funny and ironic as I'm in NZ, but trust me - NZ is not the "overrun" by sheep place it's made out to me so we were as surprised to find two sheep at our house as the next person. I mean REALLY - sheep?!
Our immediate neighbours living nextdoor in what I like to refer to as the "condemned" house have in the past had lambs, and a horse (although not at the same time). Currently they have 3 "yappy" dogs - "yappy" is probably too nice of a word, but we'll just leave it at that. They also have a gazillion cats - you can read ALL ABOUT my "joys" dealing with them here at my other blog http://pintokonai.blogspot.com/2010/02/cat-gauntlett.html
Search through the archives and you'll also find several posts regarding the use of our property as a public walkway by them, other neighbours and pretty much anyone else passing through.
Also here's a beaut from just yesterday - http://pintokonai.blogspot.com/2010/03/top-five-clues.html - one of the many instances of using our property as their personal garbage tip.
I guess basically what I'm saying is being yapped at by one little dog would be a "welcome reprieve" relatively speaking....but yes, I TOO think you should make a call or report or whatever you feel you need to do. AND carry a water pistol full of WHITE VINEGAR :D

Ana said... [reply]

*be (NOT me)

Anonymous said... [reply]

I'd definitely complain to some one of authority about the dog if I were you. Or if you're feeling extra snarky, you could write a Liz Lemon-esque letter to her and leave it on her door stating that even though her dog won't hurt anyone (or so she says), that doesn't mean that some one won't kick it in the face when it inevitably follows them around. Then I'd end with "By the way, nice slanket".

perkiwindy said... [reply]


Yankee Girl said... [reply]

Sounds like it is time to move one county to the South.

Kristeee said... [reply]

I say complain. If you knew the neighbor (or if you want to get to know the neighbor) you could kindly go over and tell her you're going to report her dog. It might be nice to have some warning, and she might not be aware of how irritating it is. Or you could leave an anonymous note. Or tie a threatening note to the dog's collar. Or maybe just a sign that says, "Kick Me When I Bark"

Missy W. said... [reply]

all of the above!

Mrs. Clark said... [reply]

I want to know what a Liz Lemon-esque letter is! But kill your neighbor with kindness. Give the dog a treat. Tell the neighbor how concerned you are about the safety of the dog--he could get hit by a car, kicked by someone not as nice as you, etc. Then, if it doesn't work, make the complaint.

emandtrev said... [reply]

Make the complaint. People that think the rules don't apply to them are just ridiculous--especially in the case where the dog seems aggressive and is bound to hurt someone sometime.

Carrie said... [reply]

A year ago this month, hubby was out walking our dog (a goofy Golden Retriever)late at night when another dog came out of nowhere and attacked. Attack dog went for dog first, then jaws locked on hubby's hand and despite hubby punching dog with other hand, attack dog would not let go. Two men heard hubby yelling and came running out of their houses. By the time the men got to hubby, his shirt was covered in blood, and the dog had hubby down on on his knees. It took all three men to get the dog to let go. Hubby is now permamently disabled--little or no use of two fingers (amuptation was considered),and he is in constant pain. The doctor has done all he can do.
This was a dog who, according to the owner, slept with the kids, ages three and five, and was never agressive until the unprovoked attack.
Complain, before somebody gets hurt.

MJ said... [reply]

Make a complaint. You might be crabby today, but that mutt is a nuisance everyday.

She gives dog owners a bad name.

Azúcar said... [reply]

I'm with East of Eden.

This is the equivalent of allowing unattended children to run all over the library throwing books around while the parent just laughs. NOT COOL.

Complain. Kick. Not acceptable behavior by the owner or the dog.

norteamericoyajr said... [reply]

Animal control report of vicious dog (yes, it will bite eventually - probably a small child). In the meanwhile, a little shot of pepper spray should be enough to keep the little beast away from you without causing it permanent damage, such as a kick might (plus you get the guilty satisfaction of knowing the owner will get pepper spray on her hands when she picks up her yelping rat).

Anonymous said... [reply]

How about an "anonymous letter" sent to her mailbox letting her know how you really feel. Cuz courage sucks and giving people a piece of your mind which you later don't have to take responsibility for rocks.
Also, a book sent in the mail would work - possibly "How to keep your stinky annoying dog on a leash" or something along those lines.

Anonymous said... [reply]



And I'm a dog lover too.

Janet said... [reply]

*wanders in randomly*

1. Find someone with a very large fierce dog you could borrow for a few days.

2. Walk in and out with it on a leash a few times (this will ensure it gets irritated by the yappy one).

3. The next time she yells down that hers won't hurt you, yell back that it's not yourself that you're worried about.

4. Accidentally let go of your big dog's leash.

5. Watch it eat the little monster (with a suitable expression of horror, of course).

6. Apologise profusely and suggest she keeps her next dog tied up safely out of the way.

Alternatively, just make the complaint :)

coolmom said... [reply]


Hornbill said... [reply]

Give the dog the Eyebrow

Ana said... [reply]

I agree - the eyebrow will sort them out for sure. I was just reading over this and thinking that I should report my neighbours' dogs which bark almost incessantly. In fact yesterday whilst I "chatted" over the fence with my neighbour concerning her kids throwing rubbish onto our property, one of their dogs looked keen to rip my arm off. In their favour though is the fact that when my baby boy (2) fell over the fence into their yard the two dogs didn't touch him - however I'm not so sure now that this was all the dogs - methinks it might be likely that an army of invisible angels formed a protective circle around my wee guy. yep. that's it.

I think I may just report their dogs. She has accused my too older boys of riling the dogs up - but the dogs bark at ANYTHING - me weeding the vege garden for instance.

crazy dogs.

Ana said... [reply]

*two - NOT too. Darnit.

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