It's getting warm and the clothes are coming off!
Working in the library, I can tell what kind of day it is outside by the way the library visitors dress. The other day I could tell we'd cleared 60 degrees because everyone who came in was either naked or wearing a beach cover-up.
This was fun when two little damp chlorine-drenched boys asked me for help finding Go, Diego, Go! DVDs. (My response: "I will absolutely help you, as soon as your little brother hops on down from that shelf." And yes, I will hold Diego hostage in order to bend children to my will.) The little boys (ages 6 and 4) crowded around me as I did a search in the catalog and one of them proudly whispered, "We just went to swimming lessons!"
Me: "I can smel--I mean, tell that you did! How was it?"
Little boys: "Really good."
Me: "Did you put your face in the water?"
Little boys: "Yes!"
Me: "Way to go! Now go teach my scaredy-pants niece how to do that." Except that last part was possibly in my head.
The "it's warm out and so I don't have to wear clothes" thing was less fun today when I helped a very nice mother and her (also nice) teenaged daughter reserve a book. The daughter was wearing teeny weeny tiny shorts, and she'd rolled down the waistband several times so that the shorts covered even less of her.
"I'd really like to help you ma'am, but I'm slightly distracted by the part where I can see your daughter's cervix."
I'm Steph, a librarian and mom of 3 (not sure how that happened). Let's chat books, food, Sumptuous Literary Adaptations, poop, knitting and maybe some crazy Mormon Feminism.
13 comments:
Oh I HATE those tiny shorts. I see them all over the campus now. They're like denim granny panties.
18 days. no post. tears shed.
(oh yeah, and, word verification today is "undresta"...)
Bahahahahaaaaa! EXCELLENT.
I walked past some short-shorts in a store the other day that boasted, "With slimming panels!" on the sign.
a) If you NEED slimming panels should you be wearing low rise shorts with a 1 inch crotch?
b) Sure they will hold your Twinkie gut at bay, but what about your cellulitis spilling out the bottom?
c) The best part? You could buy these babies in any number of sizes up to 18. There. are. no. words.
At first I thought you were going to talk about your own self running around naked and I was appropriately horrified.
Who even takes their kids into the library after swimming lessons? Wierdos.
Sean wants to know why it is that I laugh and laugh when you make jokes involving inappropriate mentions of body parts, but I smack him when he does it. I told him it's called a double standard for a reason.
Science Teacher Mommy - you're a woman after my own heart. SO logically and hilariously well put :D
The other day I laughed when my ten year old niece looked out the window of the car and commented,
"She is going to be so embarrassed when she realizes that she forgot her shirt."
I died laughing.
Both Undresta and my word verification, Radele, sound like Utah names.
I can remember when people didn't go into University Mall in shorts.
I'm old.
You gotta look at the Wal-Mart People website.
I do not know what tiny shorts you are talking about.
Over here, in the Pacific, we wear just leaves to cover our private parts
And we do not have libraries
The whole jungle is our library
You can see the photos in my blog
http://hornbill-hornbill.blogspot.com
Those teeny clothes are the worst!
I feel similarly about the ads for things like those Reebok shoes that tighten your leg muscles... Ran into this life-size picture outside the shoe store at the mall the other day, and was less than thrilled.
http://www.priceculture.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/19.jpg
This post made me laugh out loud! (Love the title of your blog!)
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