I know lots of things, actually

Another warm day in the library. My big clue was when a guy came in wearing shortshorts and a mesh muscle shirt. I think the armpit holes had been enlarged even more, so it was pretty much like he was wearing one of those mesh pinnies with the flags that you wear during 4th-grade PE. (Remember that game where you try to run across the field without getting your flags torn off or your teeth elbowed out? Good times.)

But I digress.

I have decided that there probably needs to be a patron dress code for the library. I would settle for a simple sign that reads, "Unless you're feeding a baby with it, I shouldn't be able to see your nipple. Thank you."

Because that's what was right in my line of sight the entire time I was helping this gentleman. He was trying to track down what turned out to be an out-of-print cd by Wings.

Him: Are you sure you can't find it? It's by Wings. That's Paul McCartney's band. Do you know who Paul McCartney is? Or the Beatles?

Me: Dude, I know enough to keep my boobs covered in public, so yeah, I know who the Beatles are.

Except that last part was maybe my head.

Also, we have tickets to see Paul McCartney when he comes to Salt Lake City in July (not that we know who he is or anything). Please pray that Sir Paul doesn't die or get maimed or snagged by a(nother) gold-digger or any other bad thing before the concert, because if something were to go wrong then I'm pretty sure GH would never recover and I'd just be married to a broken shell of a person who will then be useless as a birthing partner.

You can see how straight my priorities are here.


Giggles said... [reply]

I recall seeing an old woman wear a shirt like that once. The arm holes weren't huge, but, well, the mesh was enough. Especially since she had no support.

I say take it as a compliment that he considers you extremely young. Or just realize that a guy who doesn't know how to dress himself probably also knows very little else. I judge guys who don't know how to use the shift key like that too.

Mrs. Clark said... [reply]

If he's old enough to remember Wings or the Beatles, he's too old to run around in a mesh shirt and short-shorts.

Totally jealous of you seeing Sir Paul.

Jenny said... [reply]

my favorite part because it's posted on the library door:
Unless you're feeding a baby with it, I shouldn't be able to see your nipple. Thank you.

Ana said... [reply]

Giggles - mmmpffft! I like your shift key comment.

And I totally think you should run with the sign. TOTALLY. DO EEEEEEEET! (it)

coolmom said... [reply]

I think we have the LP of that CD!

Hornbill said... [reply]

Apparently, there are 12 kinds of nipples :
1) Bologna
2) Silver Dollars
3) Pepperoni ('Ronis)
4) Blind Pigs
5) Bubble Gum
6) Muffin Tops (aka Smurf Houses)
7) Puffles
8) Dipples
9) Pencil Erasers
.....a) Tart 'N Tinys
.....b) Lincoln Logs (aka Hot Dogs)
10) Candy Buttons
11) Fade-outs (aka Ghosts)
12) Crunchberries

and I know that you do not need to know


Bean said... [reply]

We, too, have tickets to see Sir Pail so I whole heartedly agree with your sentiments!!

Anonymous said... [reply]

not to be mean but as a smoker i feel i should be able to smoke in my oflat that i own. been lurking on your blog for about a year (in scotland) - my question would be - how terrible is your housing if you can smell your neighbours smoke in your own home?? maybe houses are less solid in utah? love your blog and not having a go, think you're amazing :) emma x

Nemesis said... [reply]

Hi Emma, welcome! I absolutely agree that it's the fault of the crappily-built apartments that all of the smoke downstairs can come straight up into ours. That's why I didn't make a big issue of it with the new neighbors when they didn't show any kind of willingness to smoke outside more--they found an apartment that will let them smoke inside, so it's completely within their rights to do it. It's just unfortunate that it can affect us so much and make our apartment unliveable. And it's too bad that the actual owners of the apartments haven't made any provisions for such a situation, such a having buildings for smokers and for non so that everyone can do their own thing. Blah to them! And thanks for delurking to say hello!

emandtrev said... [reply]

"Unless you're feeding a baby..." Yep. I pretty much laughed and laughed as I read this whole post.

And Sir Paul! Lucky you. I hope you'll share the experience here!

chosha said... [reply]

Wow. After a long absence from reading your blog, that was pretty exciting news to come back to. The pregnanacy, not the weird guy in the library. Congratulations!

Also Paul McCartney is great live. At least he was several years ago when I saw him.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...