Now that my vision has cleared

On Saturday we moved into a different apartment. (Same complex, but different apartment.) This was not one of my absolute first choices under Ways to Resolve This Smoking Situation. Higher-ranking items included.

1. Get steel-toed boots and take up kitchen-floor clogging.
2. Start playing Beatles Rock Band at 2am on regular basis.
3. Flood downstairs neighbors out in some supersneaky way.
4. File a public nuisance lawsuit as provided for in the 1997 Utah Code.
5. Wait till one of us developed smoke-related health issues, then sue.
6. Wait to give birth to flippered baby, then sue.

See how good all my ideas were? Unfortunately none of them would offer any sort of timely resolution to the problem. And I was kind of needing the timely. I already have sexy genetically built-in shadows under my eyes, much in the manner of one of those Cullen kids, but once they start getting even shadowier then we're in dangerous territory. I don't need that kind of storage space.

So we decided to transfer to a different unit and just wait out the 4 remaining months of our lease. And yes, it did suck having to move. What did not suck were all the people who showed up to help out. They were angels straight from heaven. And the part where they had to duck under smoke clouds and then go exerting themselves with heavy lifting will, I hope, make them even more blessed for their service. I'm also very sorry about the part where GH called and left frantic messages on all of their phones a few hours later because a box containing the Tivo, Blu-Ray player, and Wii equipment had gone missing. I'm really sorry about that, guys. Turns out I'd set it on the washing machine--and then closed the sliding "laundry area" door over it and forgot. Woops.

Last night we finished cleaning the old apartment, not that it SHOULD be cleaned on account of its stench means it's never going to be inhabitable by humans again. I probably should have just pooped in the middle of the living room and called it good. Except it turns out that you don't really get to move your bowels any more once you're pregnant. So your ability to make dramatic scatalogical statements is somewhat diminished. I did, though, leave the black widow I found in the window there. I might have even whispered to her that there was a really good party downstairs that she might want to check out.


Ana said... [reply]

Ah, you never fail to amuse :P

Giggles said... [reply]

If you ever have that problem again, can I help with options 1-4? I've always wanted to learn steel-toed clogging.

For my last move I was absolutely floored by how many people showed up and how fast they were able to empty my place. They actually looked disappointed that I didn't have more stuff.

I hope your new neighbors are nicer.

FoxyJ said... [reply]

We've had two last-minute moves and both times I've been astonished by the number of people who come to help. My favorite was our elder's quorum president who brought all his kids, and the little five-year-old kept insisting on carrying everything he could.

I hope your new place is smoke-free and that you have friendly neighbors. At least for the next few months.

Elsha said... [reply]

"turns out that you don't really get to move your bowels any more once you're pregnant" HA. One word: Miralax. And take it preemptively after the birth. Seriously.

Pie said... [reply]

So glad you're back! congrats on your little fetus- canNOT wait for future snarky pregnancy and parenting stories... for some reason the miracle of life makes people ram their feet down their throats left and right.

Th. said... [reply]


It's not too late for #6.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...