Smart choices made by me

These were all yesterday.

Choice #1: Oversleeping, so failing to pack a lunch.

#2: Lunch = two handfuls of peanut m&ms from the breakroom candy dispenser. Pregnancy fail!

#3: After dinner, realized that I don't know if the slice of lunch meat in my grilled-cheese sandwich reached high enough temperatures to kill the potential listeria. Pregnancy fail again! Except I seem to be fine, so we'll just say it did.

#4: Picking up GH's library-borrowed copy of The Stand by Stephen King. Began reading and kept reading in bed. (GH: Is this going to give you nightmares? Me: Psssh. No, this isn't even scary.) Went on to have terrible, terrible, awful dreams and my first waking-up-in-middle-of-night-with-charlie-horse experience.

#5: Did not wash face before bed, as was busy reading, even though that seems to be the only thing keeping my new froke-out pregnancy face at bay. (Yeah, I made this super-scientific observation on my own, because I'm brilliant like that. "Washing your face makes your skin better! Wacky!") Woke up looking like a bridge troll.

Today is, I hope, on track to be better. I have an actual lunch with fruit in it. Which I plan to eat while soaking in a 110-degree hot tub for a few hours. Just before I go to Harmon's and lick all the deli surfaces.


goddessdivine said... [reply]

Actually, what would be really smart would be to go visit your old chain-smoker neighbor. I hear that's great for a fetus.

Not washing my face = complete disaster for my skin. I could never get away with NOT washing it both morning and night.

Breanne said... [reply]

I had a hormone surge the night before I went into labor and my photos in the hospital are of some hideous bridge troll, too. I didn't even know labor could do that to you.

Kimi said... [reply]

Coming out of lurkdom to say a few things:

#1: Congratulations on your bundle-of-snark-to-be!
#2: Don't you love the wonderful new things you have to think about when you're pregnant? Like having to make sure your deli meat is steaming, your soft cheeses are pasteurized, etc. Good times.
#3: Love, love, love, love your blog. Seriously.

Elsha said... [reply]

I'm not gonna lie, I pretty much ignored all warnings about lunchmeat after my doctor told me that in like 15 years of being an OB he's NEVER seen a case of listeria.

Jenny said... [reply]

Yeah I wouldn't worry too much about those choices if I were you. I'm pretty sure that causes premature aging. When you have swearing at small children, drinking drano and tattooing your face then you can be like, I make stupid choices.

Kind of like when people are all, I fed my kids organic milk but I didn't milk the cow myself, I am such a bag mom!

Kimi said... [reply]

First off... I got charlie horses while I was pregnant and they were HORRIBLE. Good luck with that. Second... I ate lots of deli meat while I was pregnant. Like every day for lunch. Unheated. Oops. Third... I am SOO excited to have another neice/nephew... or maybe both?? haha. See you guys in a couple weeks!

Kimi said... [reply]

I was really confused for a second when I scrolled down to check my comment... you must know another Kimi. AND she even spells it the same! Weird! Don't see too many of those.... Well now you have three comments from Kimi. :)

jeri said... [reply]

My name is not Kimi but I hope I can still comment here. I never not ever heated up a slice of lunchmeat in either pregnancy because my doctor said "there's nothing quite like a hot cold-cut.'

Jenny, I'm signing up my fetus for a competitive dance troupe but I'm skipping out on the mom-n-me matching hairpieces for now. I'm such a bad mom.

Desmama said... [reply]

Yeah, when I asked my doctor about listeria he laughed and was like, I've never seen a case of listeria in all the years I've been an OB (which was 28 at the time). So I didn't worry about it at all and things were fine. He hated that I was reading What to Expect While You're Expecting 'cause he thought it made moms too paranoid about everything. Including hot tubs, which he also said were fine. ;)

Nemesis said... [reply]

Okay then what the crap is WITH people saying all the antiquated mess? Also, I love how the Internet trots out gems like "avoid soft cheeses" which makes you scared to have a bagel. Freak-bags . . .

Cannot WAIT to go tell GH that hot tubs are back in and that I won't be boiling the baby. Niiice.

Jenny said... [reply]

OH! I forgot to tell you, staying hydrated really helps a lot with the charlie horses. So have water on your nightstand. I always liked to punch Ed in the arm and wake him up so he could get my charlie horse out for me. I think it helped him feel more involved with the pregnancy.

ALSO. Jeri, you are a bad mom, not a bag mom like I typed. I'm on a PC.

Anonymous said... [reply]

You CAN eat peanuts when you are pregnant...at least that's what they say in the UK nowadays!!! Bring on the Peanut M&M's!!! Yummy!!!

mj said... [reply]

I was super careful early on and slowly became less so. I mean nine months without some delicious brie? Besides my baby was sensitive to dairy and I had to go off everything after she was born so it sucked extra. I mean sure you shouldn't eat lunch meat or cheese that was left on the counter or out in the sun or something gross like that, but you shouldn't be doing that anyway. Otherwise you should probably enjoy it while you know you still can. Maybe avoid the unpasteurized stuff if you want to be careful.

Bridget said... [reply]

This post made me laugh. I love it!

cooldad said... [reply]

"M. O. O. N. That spells scary."

Anonymous said... [reply]

potassium. It helps with charlie horses. So, eat a banana or serving of raisins(1/4 cup) a day.
Love your blog.

Science Teacher Mommy said... [reply]

I didn't even know you could make a dumb choice Nem. Maybe these are somehow good choices in disguise.

I was plagued by charlie horses during pregnancy. Here are the tricks I figured and only had ONE during pregnancy #3: take a calcium supplement (with Vit D) in addition to your pre-natal and the 80 tons of dairy you might already be craving. I also second the potassium thing, though bananas can be terribly constipating if you already have issues there.

I also found that if you sleep with your feet outside the covers, or just under a sheet that helps. It always seemed to be hot late in my pregnancy (shocker!) and would kick the covers off, but not completely off. The weight of the covers would press my toes down as I slept causing muscle cramps in the calves. Because pregnant women (the fetus is sucking leeching of the calcium and vit D and potassim from you--needed for muscle health)are prone to muscle cramps anyway, this simple covers thing points your toes just enough to cause major problems.

I also had to give up any oh-so-fabulous heel-type shoes that defined my calves and made me want to wear "short" skirt. Such shoes, if worn for any amount of time, greatly exacerbated the cramping.

Let GH know that from here on out he is on the docket for middle of the night calf rubs and pushing your feet so that they flex hard enough to overcome the evil effects of the gastrocnemius (calf muscle, but I just love to say gastrocnemius). He needs to be alert the minute you start pounding is arm and screaming is okay too. Good practice for labor.

Oh, you weren't looking for advice? My bad. ;)

emandtrev said... [reply]

My doctor echoed what pretty much everyone else's did--if you want a turkey sandwich, don't freak out about it and just have the sandwich.

I've heard that both pickles and bananas (separate, of course!) help with charlie horses.

Anonymous said... [reply]

Bananas bananas bananas! they work miracles with Charlie Horses. Try and eat one every day-seriously once i started eating them, i never got another charlie horse during my pregnancy.

Anonymous said... [reply]

Mark me down for the bananas - I'll bear my testimony to that one. Also, I love your blog.

Anonymous said... [reply]




oh well.

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