How you know it's time to quit working

A sweet elderly lady asked me about a book today, and after checking the catalog I told her it was checked in.

Then she asked me if I could find the book for her and I told her to go &*&^%$ (#$%. And then I shot her in the face.

Or, I just sort of stared at her for a millisecond while the following ran through my mind.

"Are you FREAKING KIDDING ME. No, no, that's great. Your legs work and everything but sure. I'LL get it. I will just heave myself out of this chair and stagger my way over there while He Who Must Not Be Named plays break-dancing bouncy castle on my cervix. I will just luuuuuumber over there, wincing all the way, taking out small children with my errant hips. Let me go get that book for you. LET ME."

Clearly, I have possibly reached some sort of expiration date. It's a good thing I only have a few days left. It will be safer for everyone.


Janet said... [reply]

I hope you don't mind me commenting, as you don't know me from Adam, but I wish you the very best and hope all goes well for you. I've been reading your blog for a couple of years, and always enjoyed your cheerful snarkiness, so I'll take the opportunity to thank you as well :)

AmyJane said... [reply]

Ooh, the cranky has hit! Time to have a baby! I still feel bad for all those sixth graders who got to feel my wrath when I went up to and past my due date. Poor kids were probably scarred for life...

Heather said... [reply]

Ha! Great post. I felt the same way at the law office during my final few weeks. Good luck with the birth.

Anonymous said... [reply]

Are you on facebook? I'm afraid of the LONG wait between posts once that little one arrives....maybe more current info on facebook? Could I follow?

And PS - those hormonal crazies just keep comin - even AFTER the birth - so get ready.

abby said... [reply]

Yet another reason to work in a special library. We don't get up and down that much. I had a co-worker that stopped working on a Friday and had her baby on a Sunday. Her last week was pretty painful for her.

MJ said... [reply]

I totally remember your pain. So sorry, yet so happy for you!!!

Natalie said... [reply]

Good luck with the little one! I am excited to read about your baby adventures.

And how do you know Marci? It's crazy the people I know that know the other people I know. You know?

Brittney said... [reply]

Bwahaha!!! He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named made me laugh out loud, love that you have nicknamed your baby after Voldy :) I swear towards the end of pregnancies we are no longer glowing-mothers-to-be, but snorting buffalos daring someone to cross us... it is such a sweet time ;) Also errant hips was hilarious, so so true!!

emandtrev said... [reply]

I get to that point too--just with different workplace scenarios and people.

Lady Susan said... [reply]

This made me laugh, because I was this way practically my entire pregnancy--"What? You want me to do some actual work? You are lucky that I dragged my pregnant butt out of bed today and showed up. Now leave me alone why I search baby stuff on the internet."

coolmom said... [reply]

Man up, you're still getting paid aren't you? Nobody forced you to procreate!

(haha-just kidding)

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