How you know it's time to quit working
A sweet elderly lady asked me about a book today, and after checking the catalog I told her it was checked in.
Then she asked me if I could find the book for her and I told her to go &*&^%$ (#$%. And then I shot her in the face.
Or, I just sort of stared at her for a millisecond while the following ran through my mind.
"Are you FREAKING KIDDING ME. No, no, that's great. Your legs work and everything but sure. I'LL get it. I will just heave myself out of this chair and stagger my way over there while He Who Must Not Be Named plays break-dancing bouncy castle on my cervix. I will just luuuuuumber over there, wincing all the way, taking out small children with my errant hips. Let me go get that book for you. LET ME."
Clearly, I have possibly reached some sort of expiration date. It's a good thing I only have a few days left. It will be safer for everyone.
11 comments:
I hope you don't mind me commenting, as you don't know me from Adam, but I wish you the very best and hope all goes well for you. I've been reading your blog for a couple of years, and always enjoyed your cheerful snarkiness, so I'll take the opportunity to thank you as well :)
Ooh, the cranky has hit! Time to have a baby! I still feel bad for all those sixth graders who got to feel my wrath when I went up to and past my due date. Poor kids were probably scarred for life...
Ha! Great post. I felt the same way at the law office during my final few weeks. Good luck with the birth.
Are you on facebook? I'm afraid of the LONG wait between posts once that little one arrives....maybe more current info on facebook? Could I follow?
And PS - those hormonal crazies just keep comin - even AFTER the birth - so get ready.
Yet another reason to work in a special library. We don't get up and down that much. I had a co-worker that stopped working on a Friday and had her baby on a Sunday. Her last week was pretty painful for her.
I totally remember your pain. So sorry, yet so happy for you!!!
Good luck with the little one! I am excited to read about your baby adventures.
And how do you know Marci? It's crazy the people I know that know the other people I know. You know?
Bwahaha!!! He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named made me laugh out loud, love that you have nicknamed your baby after Voldy :) I swear towards the end of pregnancies we are no longer glowing-mothers-to-be, but snorting buffalos daring someone to cross us... it is such a sweet time ;) Also errant hips was hilarious, so so true!!
I get to that point too--just with different workplace scenarios and people.
This made me laugh, because I was this way practically my entire pregnancy--"What? You want me to do some actual work? You are lucky that I dragged my pregnant butt out of bed today and showed up. Now leave me alone why I search baby stuff on the internet."
Man up, you're still getting paid aren't you? Nobody forced you to procreate!
(haha-just kidding)
Post a Comment