He's lucky he's cute

This kid coerced me into feeding him half a can of black olives yesterday. He did this by trying to say the word "olive" and then by putting the olives on his little fingertips before eating them. Also by crying.

Today I am scraping an unholy version of tapenade off all of his parts every couple of hours.

Do NOT ruin tapenade for me, kid. Do not.

Grossest thing you've ever had to wipe of somebody's butt, friends? Any takers?


Amber said... [reply]

I used to babysit a kid that loved to eat olives... a few hours later I would cleaning up the "olive bomb" I can empathize... oh can I empathize.

AmyJane said... [reply]

Hahahaha! Been there. My kids love olives.
The scariest/worst diaper ever was the first diaper full of....um....rehydrated raisins. I was sure he was dying of some horrible disease to have such a thing come out of him.
If they would just CHEW, this would not be such an issue.

Jenny said... [reply]

The worst for me is things with lots of food coloring. Like fruit loops (never again) and BYU homecoming parade pancakes and those blue corn chips. The kids are all officially afraid of unnaturally blue foods now.

Desmama said... [reply]

Oops, sorry, Jenny! I'm afraid the BYU corn chips might be my fault. :/

Christina said... [reply]

It's probably not the grossest, but whenever my kids have raisins and they come out as grapes, that weirds me out. Grossest smell? "Processed" blueberries. Gag.

Rachael said... [reply]

Ha, my foster daughter's system doesn't love tomatoes, and recently I had the very surreal experience of watching my husband pull a bit of undigested tomato skin out of her butthole, from where it had been sticking out. She was about ad unhappy as he was on that one.

Lauren said... [reply]

After having three kids, I thought I had seen just about all forms of poo possible... Until the latest round of the flu. The texture! The color! The smell! The unholy frequency! You think I'd have learned by now never to think I've seen it all when it comes to children.

Kayla @ Freckles in April said... [reply]

I'm with the above commenters on the rehydrated raisins. Soooo weeeeird.

Also, a couple years ago I gave my oldest kid a pack of wiggle eyes in his stocking for various craft projects. My baby found them to be quite palatable and I frequently opened his diapers to find eyes staring back at me. Heart attack.

Cathy said... [reply]

Wow! I'd forgotten what I've been missing the last 23 years or so. Not much!

Brittney said... [reply]

Haha! good to know my child isn't the only one to produce unholy tapenade or hydrated raisins. Gross. I did have to laugh last week when she ate blue cake and everything came out looking like play dough.

On an unrelated note, Nem, are you going to weight in on "wear pants to church day?" Fortunately like you I am married to a feminist and a questioner, but I want to wring the necks every other male family member making ignorant comments on facebook: "angry feminists, blah blah blah, want the priesthood, blah!"

Kristine said... [reply]

Corn. It comes out looking the same as it went in but smelling like some unholy sulfuric compound. My firstborn ate pretty much nothing but corn for about 6 months.

“And thank you so much for bringing up such a painful memory, while you are at why don’t you give me a paper cut and pour some lemon juice on it.” ;)

GoodsonFL@aol.com said... [reply]

The night before I gave birth to my third child I served chili with beans for dinner. Thank goodness my water broke a few hours later so we were off to the hospital, leaving my teenaged SIL to babysit the 3 year old and 17 months old. Apparently the next morning there had been a bean explosion from the 17 month old. My husband came home to find all of his bedding in the trash! LOL. He is a good man and cleaned it outside before throwing it in the washer.

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