Groupon, groupoff: On becoming a travel discount master (mistress?)

We leave for London in a week! A week! Don't know whether to get really excited or to throw up about leaving my babies. It maybe kind of helps that little Loki has been a lot like this lately:

adorable but also dangerous and maybe slightly deranged

When I started dreaming about this trip, I signed up to receive notifications of London and Liverpool deals through Groupon.co.uk, Livingsocial, and Wowcher. And then my inbox exploded so full of offers for afternoon teas and Brazilian waxes that it was insane. Also alcohol. Sooooo very much of alcohol.

But it was worth it, because I have scored some really great deals for things. I did have to use some self-control, though. It would have been easy to buy a ton and then basically have our entire schedule dictated by needing to use up the Groupons we'd paid for. So I really only chose things that were actually on our list. I also spent a lot of time on Yelp and Tripadvisor to make sure that the restaurant/experience/whatever was worth choosing.

I installed the Ebates button into my browsers so it could remind me when I'm on a site where I can get cash back. (For example, 6% back at Livingsocial.) So that happened too. And here's what I've got so far!

Groupon for London Fish & Chips in Covent Garden (yes, it looks like a weirdo chain but actually has great reviews)

This wasn't actually on my list, because I didn't know about it. But it looks fun.

Groupon for the Liverpool Big Wheel

Groupon for an afternoon tea.

I've never done the tea thing, but decided that a civilized afternoon tea in London is a thing I probably should do in my life. Also it's pretty much my birthday. So there. I spent, no lie, at least a month researching afternoon teas and checking out every Groupon/Livingsocial/Wowcher/whatever that came my way. I agonized. Agonized, I tell you. My salvation finally came through Christin, a lovely blog reader living in London (lucky!) who was also looking into afternoon teas. She sent me a link for the Wellington Afternoon Tea at the Wellington Lounge in the InterContinental Park Lane Hotel and the heavens opened and I may have started sweating. 

You guys. This tea. Go read about it right now I am not even kidding. 

And while I enjoy my afternoon tea, I can think about the part where I am sitting exactly on the site of Queen Elizabeth's childhood home, where she lived with Colin Firth until they moved into Buckingham Palace. Which turned out to be a good thing, since the house was destroyed during the Blitz of London. So, um, I guess thanks for that, Wallis Simpson?

Colin Firth not shown.

Except yay, there he is!!

Seriously. If this thing turns out to be a disappointment, I may level the building a second time.

Picture: Tolga Akmen/REX

2 for 1 Tower of London entry. (Why thank you, 2for1 London.) The red ceramic poppies filling the moat are a special installation to commemorate the 100th anniversary of WWI. Each poppy represents a British military fatality, and there will eventually be almost 900,000 poppies covering the moat.

image source Porters Restaurant

2 for 1 dinner at Porter's English Restaurant in Covent Garden. I'm leaning toward the chicken, mushroom, and bacon pie myself.

image source Porters Restaurant

And a dessert. Because culture.

2 for 1 Thames sightseeing cruises

Discounted Beatles London Walking Tour (You'll never guess who needs to see every single Beatles site in London. But I found the tour and the discount because I am awesome.)

Discounted tickets to see Jeeves and Wooster in Perfect Nonsense. But before we get too excited, is Matthew Macfadyen still playing Jeeves? Answer:

But that's ok. It will still be delightful.

And then there are the things I'm just going to have to suck it up and pay full price for:

Matilda the Musical

The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime

The private taxi Beatles tour of Liverpool

Warner Brothers "Making of Harry Potter" Studio Tour

All the foods at Borough Market. (Pssst. Click on this link, but don't let the people around you hear the sounds you are about to make.)

And of course we are going to hit museums and the British Library and walk all over the place, but do any of you have some spots we should consider? Tell me now before I miss out and hate myself forever!
                             

Party in Panguitch, Part 2

We made it home safely just as everyone got sick and it started to snow. Wheee! 

Trip highlights:

I need to get a guest room for the Tiny Dark Lord to sleep in. Kid never got out of bed and slept like a log as soon as we put him down. Must have been a combination of exhaustion + nothing to get up and play with.

Also, the Tiny Dark Lord really is the best. He was just up for anything, and spent the whole time telling us how great everything was. "I love this bunk bed, Mom!" "I love hiking!" "Oh, this is so very beautiful!" "This is my one special rock from hiking!" I will cherish these memories when he's a teenager sulking his way through our family trips (or trying to get out of them altogether, which was my tactic as a teenager). 

Loki was also great, aside from the constipation issues. He was fine in the Ergo carrier and even fell asleep in it a few times. He's just so chill and happy. I love him.

Our friends John and Loni brought their little guy Max, who is around 18 months old, and he and TDL actually enjoyed each other's company. The best was when they both rode in a double stroller around town and just jabbered at each other. GH's theory is that the Dark Lord can still remember Max's language ("Baby") and so was comfortable conversing. (Or it has something to do with being a Parseltongue.)

Max also loved little Loki and paid him way more attention than the Dark Lord ever does. Loki, in turn, loved Max a whole bunch. 

Panguitch has lots of dogs and cats roaming around. And lots of red brick buildings.

We learned the small town business customs in Panguitch. The stores and restaurants don't list their hours. If it's dark and locked, that's how you know it's closed. When our friends asked an employee at Joe's Main Street Market (the local grocery store) when they close for the night, I think he said something about sundown. Plus you've got the whole tourism and not-tourism season happening. So I bet more places are open (and open for longer) during the summer.

Burgers at Henrie's Drive-In are good. And cheap. The friends who grabbed their shakes, though, said they were kind of icy. So maybe watch out for that.

Bryce Canyon National Park is pretty. And expensive. It's $25 per car to get into the park, but you get a 7-day pass. Of course no one could double up with us in the Accord because our two car seats take up the whole place. Yet another opportunity to dream about a Swagger Wagon. (The other opportunities involve TDL pushing open his door and narrowly and/or actually hitting the car next to us in parking lots. But I digress.) 

The couple who doesn't have kids did all the long hard-core hikes, and the rest of us did easy baby stuff. We did the Sunrise to Sunset hike one day and the Mossy Cave trail the next. We weren't there at a great time of year for Mossy Cave, because the waterfall wasn't running yet and the ice in the cave was almost melted. And it kind of seemed like you could do Mossy Cave for free, since it's before the park entrance where you pay your $25. Just a little something to think about . . .  There was a big group of teenagers there on a "prom date," which (I believe) is a Utah (or Utah-influenced) thing for extending the prom festivities all day

On our way out of the park we took Kim's recommendation and stopped for lunch and pie at the Bryce Canyon Pines restaurant. It was a little pricey for sandwiches and burgers, but everything was good and the portions were huge (like, you could probably share, especially if you're going to get dessert). GH got the chicken cordon bleu sandwich and I got the club sandwich on marble rye (which I could not finish). They also had some of the best fries I've ever eaten. I didn't want to ask how they made them so good, because it probably involves double-frying or batter or some other artery-clogging thing. Loni ordered Dr. Pepper and they brought it out to her in a quart-sized mason jar. And then gave her a huge refill for the road.

Sorry about the poor lighting . . .

 

And then . . . came the pie. It's about $5 a slice, which should be your cue to share. I wasn't picking up on cues, though, so GH and I each ordered a piece, like idiot people. I got coconut cream, which was tasty. He and John ordered the strawberry banana (plus ice cream) and oh my word. That stuff really was so good.

On Sunday morning we packed up and drove home. When I wasn't driving I got to knit, and we watched the beginning of Saturday night's General Women's Meeting on my phone until I couldn't get a signal anymore. The drive home took a lot longer (6 hours instead of 4.5) because we stopped for lunch at In-N-Out in Centerville and then had some lovely snow to deal with. The boys were really good, though:

I had the iPad loaded up with movies, but I never had to give it to TDL. He was happy with his magnetic drawing pad and took a long nap.

On the whole, the trip was a success! We might try it again some day.

Party in Panguitch

We decided to some awesome parent-style partying this weekend, which is called "go be parents in a different place but at least your friends are there too."

We are in Panguitch, Utah, because our friends have access to an house in town. And it's a really nice house with room for the 6 adults and 3 kids.

Things so far that I was smart about:

Driving the 5 hours at night while the boys slept

Remembering to pack diapers and formula

Remembering the Dark Lord's blue potty seat, without which he refuses to go near the scary porcelain beasts that are toilets.

Things I've NOT been so smart about:

Forgetting the baby monitor

Forgetting a 2nd pair of pants for the Dark Lord

Showing TDL how to climb bunk bed ladders. (Good thing I only showed him how to go half way up! Oh wait, crap. He just figured out the rest.)

Not arranging to have a non-constipated baby.

Not realizing that constipation was the reason why little Loki spent all night crying before presenting us in the morning with the massive rock-solid Easter Egg he'd been passing.

This is me learning, see.


Today after a delicious breakfast of French toast, scrambled eggs, and bacon, which I did NOT make, we took a drive to Bryce Canyon National Park and did a short hike with the kids.

(Friends' child not pictured in case they are not cool with that)

Now off to explore downtown Panguitch and wonder who exactly lives here and what they do for jobs.

Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

I tell you what, Costco never would have pulled this s***

Because I am bad at filling out W-4s (but adequate at producing babies) it turns out that the gub'ment people owe me some money this year. And I am using that money to get passports for the Gentleman Husband and myself. It's freaking me out not having one, because I'm sure I will end up missing out on some amazing last-minute adventure. (And yes, maybe I do have my life confused with the lives of TV and movie people and folks with, you know, money, but a girl can dream.) I realize it's not uncommon to be an American without a passport, and have previously defended my fellow Americans from the scoffs of the British on that very subject. But still. I want one.

Of course, once I get one I will want to go somewhere with it. That's the bit I'm still trying to sort out. But it won't matter because I will never get our passports processed and it's all Sam's Club's fault. They keep screwing up our pictures! We all went in on Saturday and took our passport photos (mine, GH's, and the two boys) because they only charge $5 per photo instead of the $15 per photo that the passport office charges. I'm trying to be thrifty. In my picture I'm trying not to smile but also thinking about international travel which makes me want to smile and so I ended up looking a bit smirky.

Today GH and I met up at the Post Office on his lunch break for our passport application appointment (which, yes, you have to make). Aaaaaaaand both of our photos were too small. Like, the girl who took our pictures didn't zoom in enough or something. So we made a new appointment for tomorrow and hauled ourselves and the kids back to Sam's Club for retakes. (Note: I had no make up on and was wearing a hat over my disgusting, matted down hair.)

GH: Yeah, but that's what most people probably look like after an international flight anyway.
Me: Tired and pissed off with crappy hair? Sounds right.

Unfortunately, the woman at the photo lab was the same one who took our initial pics on Saturday.We took the new pictures. (This time I looked like I was staring with dead eyes of hate at the camera, which, not far off.) We grabbed a not-at-all-healthy lunch at the food court while we waited for the new pics to process since that's all we now had time for. GH went back to work, and I got the new photos. The employee tried to wander off while I opened them, but I called her back over.

Me: My husband's photo still looks really small. It's barely bigger that the one from Saturday.
Her: No, it's fine. I checked it.
Me: Really? It's smaller than mine. I'm worried that they won't take it at the passport office.
Her: Well . . . I mean . . . I coooouuuuld resize it . . . if you really want . . . (translation: if you really want to be an anal cow about it) but I checked and double checked and I'm positive it's the right size.
Me: And if it's not?
Her: Then you can just come back in!
Me: Yeah, except that would mean I've been in here three times. I don't want to come in three times.

I knew she had to be sucking crack balls, so I drove straight to the post office, hoping that TDL wouldn't pee his pants, and showed the guy at the passport office the pictures. He burst out laughing and told me that not only was GH's picture way too small, but it wasn't centered and there's no way the government would accept it. Also my picture was now too big. And then I said the word of Whore and I really hope TDL didn't hear me. He says they get the worst photos from Sam's Club and Walmart (shocker). Your best bet if you don't want to pay $15 for them to do it at the office? Walgreens, who charges $12.

Ugh. So now I will call Sam's and speak to a manager and explain that they need to get their staff freaking trained if they are going to take people's money in exchange for something they claim is a passport photo. And when you don't know how to do your job the right response is not to tell the mom dragging kids around that she can just keep going back and forth between Sam's and the post office. And I want all my money back and I won't be giving them another chance to get it right because they are awful.

You know Costco would have gotten it right the first time. I'm just saying.


UPDATE: I just got a call from the woman at the passport office (the one we had our initial appointment with). I guess when she came back from her lunch break the guy there told her I'd come in. So she was calling to tell me to go to this specific store to get our photos tonight by 7pm because she knows that GH is rushed for time tomorrow and that way I can just come in by myself and get everything processed. THAT is some service! Way to be, government agency!

Pass the Xanax

Did I mention that I'm flying to Alaska in two days with the Tiny Dark Lord? What? No?

This is because I like to be secretive, kind of like an international spy or similar. Or maybe it's because you can't type messages to the Internet when you are curled into a ball thinking about spending 5 hours crammed into an airplane seat with a thirty-pound toddler on your lap. Except, see, I really want some good seafood. I am willing to do lots of things for good seafood.

source

My parents downsized their lives this summer and moved into an apartment in Seward, Alaska. (Population: 2,700. Smell: fish. And maybe bear.) One of the reasons they did this is because my mom is going to start a culinary arts program there in the fall, which is awesome. Also she says they have baby rabbits in the bushes near the apartment. That is awesome too. Mom has actually been down here in Utah visiting, so we will be on the same plane back to Alaska. Having another pair of hands and/or lap to help with the Dark Lord will be a really nice thing, I think.

Although I'm not excited for the flights, I'm really excited about the two weeks between said flights. A few highlights I'm looking forward to:

Hanging out with my parents.

Watching the Dark Lord hang out with my parents.

Seeing my brother and his family, who also live in Alaska.

Enjoying the cooler temperatures, while still hoping for a bit of sunshine.

The Alaska SeaLife Center, where the fish-loving Dark Lord will get to see and touch all manner of sea creatures. (And, GH points out, where TDL will surely end up licking the aquariums because his mother is not as vigilant about such things as his germophobe father is.)

The bunnies.

Maybe taking this train between Seward and Anchorage:

source

Knitting, especially since I may need to immediately wear the projects as I finish them. There is even a yarn store in Seward that we'll go check out.

Eating. I always eat (too) well when I'm with my parents. You need a bit of extra blubber in Alaska, don't you know.

Doing little baby hikes like this one to work off the blubber:

source

And all other sorts of tame adventures.

Am packing the diaper bag with snacks and toys, have downloaded highly-recommended apps and the Dark Lord's two favorite movies (The Muppets and Up) onto my iPad, and will be calling on the angels. Anybody else have some good suggestions?

Home safe!

The baby angels did not have my back quite as much on the trip home. The flight was completely full, there was a delay in taking off (which meant that with the early boarding the Tiny Dark Lord and I were sitting there for an hour before the four-hour-flight even started), and then the fun began.

Imagine trying to contain a very strong, determined, young chimpanzee on your lap during a flight and trying to keep him from throwing himself at the people sleeping around you. It is fun times. Add to that a disgusting diaper, an airplane bathroom changing table where we probably both caught hepatitis, and a bit of screaming from him and some almost-crying and shooting-self-in-the-face wishes from me and you've got yourself a party. He finally fell asleep at the halfway point while I held him standing back in the galley, only then I felt awkward and intrusive when the flight attendants came back and sat in their seats and got out their lunches. Also there was this random guy also standing in the galley who would lean over and ask one of the seated flight attendants to top off his drink. I didn't want anyone to think I was with him, so I left and went to stand by the stinky bathrooms for a few more minutes until I thought TDL was far enough gone that I could get us back in my seat. He stayed out until we landed and then we both took massive naps when we got home. Whew.

One thing that did help while he was awake was my iPad--specifically, the new Make it Pop app designed by my friends. Why yes, that's right, my friends design apps.* They are just talented like that. And seriously, friends aside, I kind of love this one. The Tiny Dark Lord loves it too. Even though he is not quite coordinated enough to play all the games yet, he loves looking at it and touching the different images and watching me play. He actually started giggling during the popcorn game, which was precious.

This app holds his attention for much longer than some of the others I've downloaded for him, and we can stay in the game for longer because he can't accidentally touch any "locked" icons that prompt us to pay money, or a button that close the whole thing down, or any of the other annoying things that can happen when an infant is scrabbling his little hands over the screen.

As for me, if it weren't for the young chimpanzee on my lap I probably would have just popped the bubbles in the bubble/shape game for the entire flight because it gives me the same de-stressing satisfaction I get from popping bubble wrap (but it's much quieter).

Y'all should check it out. The graphics are beautiful, the music is quiet, it's fun, and there all these cool little details. Example: there is a crow in the balloon game that will squawk if you touch him. It is funny.

*Note: my friends did not pay me to say any of this, nor did they give me the app for free. I bought it, I really liked it, I wanted you to know about it, and I want Alma to become a millionaire so she can buy me really nice birthday presents. That is all.

Winter Wonderland

The week has zoomed by and tonight we fly out of Anchorage at 1:00 a.m. Just checked the seat map for our flight and there are only about 3 open seats on the whole plane. Not sure the tiny baby angels have my back this time, seating-wise. But hey, they could still come through for me. Or maybe my chunk of a Dark Lord will just slumber peacefully in my arms for 4 hours until they turn white from loss of blood and fall off, at which point I will have to just leave them on the floor because like I want to wake him up.

Finally got a good outdoor shot in my parents' back yard. (Aaaand now all the Alaskans think I'm talking about guns.) TDL thought the falling snow was great, even though as you can see he is STILL refusing to wear his hat, like a turd-bucket. We've had at least 13 inches of snow in the last week, which has me feeling all Christmassy and "let's go drink another gallon of hot chocolate and hey sure I have room for some more brie"-y.

And because I haven't eaten enough in the last week, we are heading to my parents' ward's annual Thanksgiving Dinner over at the church building. My mom was asked to bring stuffing and, get this, funeral potatoes. Does anybody else eat funeral potatoes with their Thanksgiving dinners, or is this just an automatic Mormon Ward Dinner reflex?

More pictures and recaps to come once I'm home!

Thank you to everyone except Verizon*

We made it safely to Alaska and all your prayers and the help of the baby angels combined together to make things go absolutely smoothly. The snowstorm held off that night until GH was on his way back home from the airport. Previously full seats somehow opened up and I ended up in my OWN ENTIRE ROW with the baby and his carseat. Kind and good people jumped forward to help me with bags when my arms were full, and one older gentleman silently stood guard over a sleeping Dark Lord while I slipped off to go catch a disease from the airplane bathroom.

True to form, little Lord Voldemort was a trooper--patient, content, and interested in the proceedings. He is just such an accepting little fellow. Unless pants are involved. He is not accepting of pants. He must get the accepting nature from his dad, because I don't think it came from me as much. It took him a long time to fall asleep (nearly two hours) but then he was out for the duration and I breathed a sigh of relief, along with all the other passengers.

And then I got out my iPad and found out that there was free wireless on the plane. Best. Ever. The only tiny gnat in the ointment was the group of women traveling together. Three of them were in the row behind me, and my word they all loved each other so much that they did not stop talking the entire 4.5 hour trip in the dead of night. We took off at 9:45pm, so you do the math on how late it was, and how much crankier I got every hour. They weren't being loud enough to be truly disruptive, but it was annoying enough that I couldn't drift off to sleep once TDL was settled and a nap seemed like a good idea. They even had some sort of computer game that they were playing in the beginning of the flight with the sound on, and I did turn around and ask them to turn the sound off. They looked at me like I was crazy but did turn off the sound (and, unfortunately, turned on their voices). But really. You are on a super late-night flight with babies right next to you and sleeping people all around and you think they want to hear your computer games and your voices?

At one point one of them laughed loudly. I had been dozing off so I jumped about 3 feet in the air. TDL didn't wake up, but the nice grandpa across the aisle was very, very concerned that he could have. I think he wanted to punch those ladies in the boob for almost waking up "the handsome little fellow." Or maybe that was me with the boob-punching fantasies. For sure the one where I grabbed the middle lady by the hair and smashed her face down on the tray table was mine. Please remember, it was like 2 a.m. by this point. Also they kept using my seat back as some kind of hand rail for standing when it actually is not one of those at all.

But still. Considering all the many, many things that went blessedly right, I'll take a few yappy bridge-dwellers. When we landed, suddenly everyone wanted to turn around and compliment the baby, especially the older men who I'm sure were cringing in their seats when they saw him coming. "That's a fine boy you have there." "You were such a good boy, I never even heard you!"

Well played, baby. Well played.

Discovering the toys at Grandma & Grandpa's house

*Verizon is on my crap list because they don't have service in Alaska, so if you have tried to call my cell phone I am very sorry. I've gone off the grid--you know, if you don't count Facebook and email and everything.

Because it won't be cold enough here in November

Remember that one time when we flew to Pittsburgh? That trip gave me just enough Skymiles to fly somewhere for free, which is a great deal as long as I choose a place where the hotels, transportation, and food are also free. So next month the Tiny Dark Lord and I will be flying to Alaska to visit my parents for a week! Please pray that he sleeps on the planes, because it's a late-night flight one way and a red-eye on the way back. Any opinions from the group about the ethics of travel doping? (Note to self: Must figure out if he's one of those kids who gets MORE hyper when drugged.)

What Alaska looks like in November (and October, and April, etc)

Speaking of little Lord Voldemort . . . he has thrown off my groove today. I was racing around, gathering my purse, coupons, and shopping lists so that I could run to Macey's and get groceries before his morning nap. I set him down on the floor while I looked for my keys and he instantly burst into tears. (Translation: "My naptime is now. You lost your window.")  

So I put the kid in his crib and he has now spent the last 30 minutes in there singing, giggling, and reaching between the bars to drum on the lid of his diaper pail. I think he is just messing with me now.

Modeling the scarf I knit for Ethan's Halloween costume

Making a run for it while I reach for a clean diaper

Trip Teaser 2

Sorry about the pictures not showing up in the previous post, let's just have ourselves a do-over.

I now realize that the title of this post makes me think of "strip teaser," which is not at ALL what I was intending. There was none of that on this trip. Unless you count the part where GH and I staggered back to our nice hotel in Arlington each night, tore off our sweaty, grubby clothes, and immediately passed out in separate queen beds.

 We had a great trip. Kimi and Jeff (GH's sister and her husband) hosted us in their charming, 100-year-old home in Pittsburgh. They took us around and showed us the city. Kimi cooked great meals and even went out beforehand and bought enough Frosted Flakes to keep GH blissfully happy and diabetes-prone. And, nicest of all, they kept the Tiny Dark Lord home with them while GH and I went to go run ourselves ragged in DC for a couple of days. TDL had a great time playing with his cousin Trey, whom he finds hilarious.

Now, the pictures!

Pittsburgh from the top of the Duquesne Incline

Downtown Pittsburgh

Coordinating Cousins

Two sexy tourists at the National Mall

After our White House Tour--thanks, Jim Matheson's office!

New Martin Luther King Jr. monument

Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, Cleveland OH

Lake Erie

Kirtland Ohio Temple

Newell K. Whitney Store in historic Kirtland

Hotcake crepes (I got strawberry, GH got banana + chocolate chips)
at Pamela's Diner in Pittsburgh

Trip Teaser

I promise a recap is on the way, but here are a few pics of our trip! We had a great time. And Little Lord Voldemort was an angel on the planes despite only sleeping for about 15 minutes each way. Sigh. 

View of Pittsburgh from top of Duquesne Incline

Downtown Pittsburgh

 

Cousins!

Two super sexy tourists on the Mall

  

After White House tour--thanks, Jim Matheson's office!

Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland, OH

Lake Erie

Historic Kirtland, OH

Amazing breakfast at Pamela's Diner, Pittsburgh

Our fabulous hosts