PBS Kids Giveaway and Dinosaur Train at Hogle Zoo!

Behold, my very first giveaway, and it's to do with public television! That's all the warm feelings, right there.

You all know how much I love me some Sumptuous Literary Adaptations, and PBS is basically my SLA dealer. It brings good things to my life, like Sherlock. It's what I watch when I'm up in the night feeding babies (Downton Abbey Season 1 with the Tiny Dark Lord, The Paradise Season 1 with Loki). Did you know they even have apps that let you watch stuff? Best. Ever. 

And then I learned about PBS Kids, which is basically how the Tiny Dark Lord coped with me ruining his life (ie., creating a sibling). During those rough first weeks months after Loki arrived he just wanted to watch Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood, over and over and over again.

proof of the Daniel Tiger love

TDL goes through phases now of loving Daniel Tiger, Curious George, Dinosaur Train, and Peg + Cat. I must say the Peg + Cat is my least favorite. Yes, it helped him learn to count by twos and stuff, but it also taught him to say things like, "OMG" and "I am toootally fuh-reaking out!!" Anyone else out there feeling me on that one?

Dinosaur Train, though, I really like. (Alternate title: "Hey, grownups. Everything you learned about dinosaurs as a kid is wrong, neener!")

Now we come to the point. This Friday, August 8th, KUED Kids (the local PBS Kids affiliate) will be at the Hogle Zoo for a "Dinosaur Train Classic in the Jurassic" event from 10:00am to 1:00pm. There will be hands-on activities and crafts, obstacle courses, educational goodies to take home, a mobile educational lab where you can try the new Dinosaur Train app, and a sneak peak of the new Dinosaur Train Classic in the Jurassic special (airing on August 18th). So if Hogle Zoo is still on your Summer Bucket List (or if you're looking for an excuse to go back) this would be a great day!

If you print this ad from their website you can get $1 off your Hogle Zoo entrance fees. Or you could stop by a Les Schwab Tire Center and grab a couple of their Hogle Zoo "Buy 1 Adult Ticket, get a Kid Ticket Free" coupons.

So, here's where the giveaway comes in. The good people at KUED are sending me a box of goodies to give to some lucky blog reader!

We've got books, pencils, stickers, a photo holder, and temporary tattoos! Your dinosaur fan will approve. And then will want to rush out and get a real tattoo because apparently that is what temporary tattoos do. Or something. To enter the giveaway, go ahead and leave a comment by 11:59 pm MST on Thursday August 7th. I'll randomly select one winner and announce it here on Friday (and I'll get in touch with you if you include your contact email in your entry).

For extra entries, here are a few other fun and personally fulfilling things you can do. You get one extra entry for each thing, just leave a comment telling me what you did!

Like KUED Kids on Facebook
Like KUED on Facebook (because hi, everyone should)
Like Hogle Zoo on Facebook
Share this giveaway on Facebook

On Thursday night we are seeing the Paul McCartney concert in SLC, so it's going to be a late night. If I can drag my sleepy carcass back down to Salt Lake on Friday morning I might see you at the zoo!

TM and © The Jim Henson Company. All Rights Reserved

Disclaimer: KUED Kids contacted me about this event and offered goodies to give away, plus a couple of extra stickers for the Tiny Dark Lord.

Party in Panguitch, Part 2

We made it home safely just as everyone got sick and it started to snow. Wheee! 

Trip highlights:

I need to get a guest room for the Tiny Dark Lord to sleep in. Kid never got out of bed and slept like a log as soon as we put him down. Must have been a combination of exhaustion + nothing to get up and play with.

Also, the Tiny Dark Lord really is the best. He was just up for anything, and spent the whole time telling us how great everything was. "I love this bunk bed, Mom!" "I love hiking!" "Oh, this is so very beautiful!" "This is my one special rock from hiking!" I will cherish these memories when he's a teenager sulking his way through our family trips (or trying to get out of them altogether, which was my tactic as a teenager). 

Loki was also great, aside from the constipation issues. He was fine in the Ergo carrier and even fell asleep in it a few times. He's just so chill and happy. I love him.

Our friends John and Loni brought their little guy Max, who is around 18 months old, and he and TDL actually enjoyed each other's company. The best was when they both rode in a double stroller around town and just jabbered at each other. GH's theory is that the Dark Lord can still remember Max's language ("Baby") and so was comfortable conversing. (Or it has something to do with being a Parseltongue.)

Max also loved little Loki and paid him way more attention than the Dark Lord ever does. Loki, in turn, loved Max a whole bunch. 

Panguitch has lots of dogs and cats roaming around. And lots of red brick buildings.

We learned the small town business customs in Panguitch. The stores and restaurants don't list their hours. If it's dark and locked, that's how you know it's closed. When our friends asked an employee at Joe's Main Street Market (the local grocery store) when they close for the night, I think he said something about sundown. Plus you've got the whole tourism and not-tourism season happening. So I bet more places are open (and open for longer) during the summer.

Burgers at Henrie's Drive-In are good. And cheap. The friends who grabbed their shakes, though, said they were kind of icy. So maybe watch out for that.

Bryce Canyon National Park is pretty. And expensive. It's $25 per car to get into the park, but you get a 7-day pass. Of course no one could double up with us in the Accord because our two car seats take up the whole place. Yet another opportunity to dream about a Swagger Wagon. (The other opportunities involve TDL pushing open his door and narrowly and/or actually hitting the car next to us in parking lots. But I digress.) 

The couple who doesn't have kids did all the long hard-core hikes, and the rest of us did easy baby stuff. We did the Sunrise to Sunset hike one day and the Mossy Cave trail the next. We weren't there at a great time of year for Mossy Cave, because the waterfall wasn't running yet and the ice in the cave was almost melted. And it kind of seemed like you could do Mossy Cave for free, since it's before the park entrance where you pay your $25. Just a little something to think about . . .  There was a big group of teenagers there on a "prom date," which (I believe) is a Utah (or Utah-influenced) thing for extending the prom festivities all day

On our way out of the park we took Kim's recommendation and stopped for lunch and pie at the Bryce Canyon Pines restaurant. It was a little pricey for sandwiches and burgers, but everything was good and the portions were huge (like, you could probably share, especially if you're going to get dessert). GH got the chicken cordon bleu sandwich and I got the club sandwich on marble rye (which I could not finish). They also had some of the best fries I've ever eaten. I didn't want to ask how they made them so good, because it probably involves double-frying or batter or some other artery-clogging thing. Loni ordered Dr. Pepper and they brought it out to her in a quart-sized mason jar. And then gave her a huge refill for the road.

Sorry about the poor lighting . . .

 

And then . . . came the pie. It's about $5 a slice, which should be your cue to share. I wasn't picking up on cues, though, so GH and I each ordered a piece, like idiot people. I got coconut cream, which was tasty. He and John ordered the strawberry banana (plus ice cream) and oh my word. That stuff really was so good.

On Sunday morning we packed up and drove home. When I wasn't driving I got to knit, and we watched the beginning of Saturday night's General Women's Meeting on my phone until I couldn't get a signal anymore. The drive home took a lot longer (6 hours instead of 4.5) because we stopped for lunch at In-N-Out in Centerville and then had some lovely snow to deal with. The boys were really good, though:

I had the iPad loaded up with movies, but I never had to give it to TDL. He was happy with his magnetic drawing pad and took a long nap.

On the whole, the trip was a success! We might try it again some day.

Party in Panguitch

We decided to some awesome parent-style partying this weekend, which is called "go be parents in a different place but at least your friends are there too."

We are in Panguitch, Utah, because our friends have access to an house in town. And it's a really nice house with room for the 6 adults and 3 kids.

Things so far that I was smart about:

Driving the 5 hours at night while the boys slept

Remembering to pack diapers and formula

Remembering the Dark Lord's blue potty seat, without which he refuses to go near the scary porcelain beasts that are toilets.

Things I've NOT been so smart about:

Forgetting the baby monitor

Forgetting a 2nd pair of pants for the Dark Lord

Showing TDL how to climb bunk bed ladders. (Good thing I only showed him how to go half way up! Oh wait, crap. He just figured out the rest.)

Not arranging to have a non-constipated baby.

Not realizing that constipation was the reason why little Loki spent all night crying before presenting us in the morning with the massive rock-solid Easter Egg he'd been passing.

This is me learning, see.


Today after a delicious breakfast of French toast, scrambled eggs, and bacon, which I did NOT make, we took a drive to Bryce Canyon National Park and did a short hike with the kids.

(Friends' child not pictured in case they are not cool with that)

Now off to explore downtown Panguitch and wonder who exactly lives here and what they do for jobs.

Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Waiting for the fireworks

Last night we watched the Logan fireworks, which they always do on the night of the 3rd rather than the 4th. 

When I asked my sister Jenny if she wanted us to save a spot for her on the lawn outside of Lee's, she wondered if I'd suddenly become the kind of person who watches fireworks from grocery store parking lots. Except then she saw what I meant (it's this long grassy area that runs along 600 East past Lee's grocery store) and is now a fan. Plus when you get bored or want a break from running around after escapee children or just remember that you need peanut m&ms or dish soap, the store is right there.

The Dark Lord kept busy while we waited for it to get dark, and the 2nd and 3rd pictures are photo documentation of the only two times that he rested his body.

"Oh my gosh, are you getting this??? It is bubbles from a gun and also other kids!!!"

It was a great fireworks show--it seems like every year they do something I've never seen before. 

Here's hoping we all have a wonderful Independenc Day today. And if you live in the West, especially in Utah, especially anywhere near my farm house, please be smart with your fireworks and do not burn the place down. I'm just saying. Thank you.

ps. Remember the Declaration of Independence on NPR! (You know, that place where you get the news and also the Spirit.)

Well done, us!

source

Remember that one time when a bunch of us froke out about the new health education bill and asked the governor to veto it because it was crap? He did! (Or, if you want to be able to feel the Spirit while you read, He did!) Yay for more information and less teen pregnancy/abortion/girls with chlamydia!

Now I guess we need to call/email to thank him for the veto, and then let our representatives know that if they even think about overturning it we will leave dog poop on their porch. And believe me, I know where to get a ton of that stuff. There is a neighbor on my street who has not picked up a single piece of dog poop from their yard since maybe 2006, I kid you not. Some of it could qualify as fossils.

To celebrate, I took the young Dark Lord to Cook's Farm & Greenhouse in Orem. It's that time of year again where I kill a garden, and I'd like to get a jump on it. My brother coolboy didn't have to work until this afternoon, so I barged into his apartment and made him come with me too. This turned out to be a win for both of us. The win for me was the pleasure of his company, and also the part where he wrangled both compost and Dark Lord. While I chose seed packets, Coolboy strollered the young child around the greenhouses while said child wailed like a firetruck because I wasn't holding him. We were the only customers there, so I didn't worry too much about the noise. And then we let him out so he could toddle around and seek out poisonous plants to ingest.

The win for Coolboy was "The Cactus Room," as it shall now be known in hushed tones of reverence. There was this huge, warm, misty, breezy, tropical-feeling room with cacti and herbs and palms and acres of geraniums. It felt like standing in Hawaii, but without the beach or the feral chickens. We just basked in the loveliness for a nice long while.

I guess that was technically several wins for me. But it really was the perfect thing to go experience the morning after a jerky March snowstorm, and it makes me feel like I possibly will survive the rest of the winter.

Is anybody else doing anything to get themselves geared up for spring? And if you Californians and Southerners get on here and say, "I just go outside where it has already been spring for forever, neener," you will make me sad. You can still say it, just know that it's like a teeny, tiny, daffodil-shaped dagger in my heart.

Let's get political, political . . .

source

If any Utah friends are feeling particularly livid right now about the health care bill that just passed, welcome to my club!

For those who don't know what it is, House Bill 363 would allow schools to drop their sex ed programs. Schools that choose to keep sexual education on the curriculum would be restricted to teaching "abstinence only." No discussion of contraception, no discussion about the idea of sex outside of marriage, no acknowledgment of homosexuality. It could even be taken so far that if kids did approach an educator with questions about how to prevent STDs or pregnancy, the educator would not be allowed to give them that information (except to say, "Just don't have sex until you are married.").

It seems like the logic here goes something like this: "Parents are the best people to teach their children about their bodies and about sex. So the best thing to do here is make sure that nobody else is allowed to. Of course, there are all those teenagers whose parents are too embarrassed/unaware/uninterested to talk about it. That's too bad for those kids, but at least when they make poor decisions as a result of being completely ignorant and/or misinformed and wind up pregnant or diseased, that will just go to show how important parents are."

Way to turn teenagers (and their babies) into collateral damage, jerks.

The current program is an "opt-in" one--kids have to have parental consent to participate. And the fact that over 90% of Utah parents choose to opt-in should say something. Here are the majority of parents feeling that there is value in allowing the schools to participate in arming their children with accurate and appropriate information, and a few lawmakers are going to be all, "Well, forget what those parents think. I'm talking about this other kind of parent that I have in mind, and they don't want anyone to know anything. So there."

If you are so inclined, there is still time to sign this petition to the governor, encouraging him to veto the bill. Or just contact his office directly even though he already kind of said that he doesn't care what the citizens of Utah think.

Other articles:

Deseret News: Abstinence-only sex education bill passes Utah Legislature

Salt Lake Tribune Opinion Piece

St George News: Ignorance of sex is best remedy

Half-priced tickets to the Utah Shakespeare Festival!

I know it's late, but here is my report about last month's trip to the Utah Shakespeare Festival. (Hint: skip to the end if you are just here for the "half-price tickets" part. Or if you want to read that first.)

Highlights:

The company. I went with my friend JJ (we are old Festival buddies at this point) and this year had the added bonus of Desmama. I always have such a wonderful time being around these two women (separately and together). I mean, there is the part where Desmama reads really super trashy books*, but I'm a true friend so I don't judge. The nice thing about going on a Girls Only trip is that you can do things like drive to Wal-Mart at 11pm because you have just convinced one member of the group that not only can she wear dark blue nail polish, but she is going to. Also you can buy and eat like 9 tarts all together and nobody thinks that is excessive at all. Somebody wants to go back to the hotel and change into something pretty before the evening play? Let's ALL do that!



The food. Did I mention the tarts? Because they figured prominently in our adventures. (As did my growing bottom.)


We also hit Lefty's Hideout for some tasty Mexican food and The Pizza Factory for pizza, pasta, bread sticks, and salad. I shared my tip for getting the most out of the salad bar. You put the dressing on BEFORE you are completely done, and that way your last few toppings like the grated cheese and sunflower seeds and peas will stick to the dressing and not just roll down the sides of your heaping salad plate. You are welcome!

The Renaissance Fair. This was going on at the same time, so we checked it out. JJ crossed "riding a camel" off her bucket list:


We watched a belly-dancing performance (the little guy in the wrap was hilarious because every time his mom spun around he started giggling):


And what I thought was going to be a nice little photo op in the stocks turned into me being stuck there while people threw wet sponges at me:


Never trust Germanic men in leather pants. They are trouble. And possibly they will squeeze a wet sponge down the back of your neck and it will run all the way down to your underwear and make it look like you peed your pants in the back. Upside is, I haggled a vendor into selling me a jingly hip scarf thing at a discount to cover up the huge wet spot.


And now I shall take up belly dancing. Take that, Germanic guy.

Shakespeare First Editions. On loan from the Folger Shakespeare Library in Washington DC, the library on SUU's campus had this cool exhibit that included some first edition quartos and folios. It was insane to stand there and look at a copy of Romeo & Juliet that was over 400 years old. We couldn't take pictures inside the exhibit, but the special collections area was beautiful and peaceful.


The plays. We bought tickets for three of the plays beforehand--The Glass Menagerie, The Music Man, and A Midsummer Night's Dream.

The Glass Menagerie was very well done, and the actors were all great, but it was still Tennessee Williams. So you just knew it wasn't going to end well for people. And it was at 2pm in a cool theater after our early morning and long drive so . . . there might have been a tiny bit of dozing off happening. Oops. I even moved us into some empty seats in the orchestra section after the intermission but it didn't help. (That's my other tip: From the nosebleeds you can get a great view of the empty seats in the front. Make a beeline for them as soon as intermission hits, and then sit knitting like the own-business-minder that you are.)


That night we saw The Music Man. I've seen the 1960s musical once and to be honest it didn't do a lot for me. So I went into this performance not expecting very much but looking forward to my BF Brian Vaughn as Harold HIll. It was wonderful, though. I hadn't realized how funny it was, and during the finale I could not wipe the delighted grin from my face. The choreography during "Marian the Librarian" was perfect, and for days afterward I kept humming and singing "76 Trombones."



The next morning we stopped by one of the Actor's Seminars where the actors who played Romeo in Romeo & Juliet (directed by my other BF David Ivers) and the mother from The Glass Menagerie were speaking. It made me want to go see Romeo & Juliet, but it wasn't going to be on again before we left. Except by that point I just could not STAND that I was missing Noises Off! so we bought tickets for the afternoon performance and went.

Michael Frayn (who is brilliant) wrote this as a play-within-a-play. In the first act a group of actors and their director are struggling to get through the dress rehearsal of a comedy called "Nothing On," and everything is going wrong. The second act occurs later in the tour with a view of backstage, when morale is down and personal bickering and backbiting and relationship angst between the actors has escalated. The third act shows us the front of the stage again, months later, as everything and everyone is falling completely apart. I saw the 1992 movie version first in high school, which I thought was okay but kind of crude. I watched a friend in a community theater version at the Springville Playhouse a few years ago. But I knew that I could NOT miss the chance to see what this festival could do with such material.


And oh . . . friends.

I laughed so hard that my cheeks ached afterward. I shrieked like a hyena. Not even kidding. If it is at all possible, you need to get down there and see it. My only complaint is that there were SO MANY hilarious things happening all over the stage that I knew no matter where I looked I was missing something that somebody else was doing. If it had been possible to turn right back around and pay another $30 to see it again (and then sneak into the $46 seats during admission) I would have.

That night we watched A Midsummer Night's Dream in the Adams outdoor theater, which is always a treat. And speaking of treats, there were more tarts. They did a great job with this play. The sets and costumes were cool and the acting was loads of fun. The physical comedy was hilarious, especially during Bottom's play-within-the-play at the end. I may have shrieked some more at that part. Also I got to wave at goddessdivine, who was on the other end of the theater with her group.




Now for the good news. Tere are still seats available for all the plays, and the festival is running some discounts to get them filled. If you go online and book an evening performance for The Music Man, The Glass Menagerie, or Noises Off!, you can enter the coupon code BOUNCEBACK11 or HOTAUGUSTNIGHTS to get 50% off your tickets! I would love to drag GH down there to see Noises Off! and maybe The Music Man but I don't know that we'll be able to swing it. The summer season ends Saturday, September 3rd.

And just so you know, Noises Off! runs through the fall season, along with Dial M for Murder starring David Ivers. That's September 23rd through October 22nd. So you have no excuse for missing it!



* Sigh . . . fine. She doesn't read really super trashy books. I just like to say that she does.

Independence Day Highlights

Hope you all had wonderful Independence Day Weekends and that everyone still has all their eyebrows and digits intact after the crazy fireworking that went on pretty much everywhere!

Here's what I was up to:

Watched Hudson and Ethan for a couple of hours. They all had a good time together, but I think the baby was slightly confused when Hudson tried to lick his face as a means of love-showing.



Went to see the Abbey Road Show in downtown Provo on Friday--it's part of the Rooftop Concert Series and was really a lot of fun.


I forgot to pack both of our camping chairs, which meant we had one chair and one blanket. But this turned out to be fortuitous when we ran into Cicada and Murray and were able to share our blanket with them. So it was probably The Spirit that made me forget. (Note to self: Try to find other opportunities for attributing my own forgetfulness to the mysterious workings of Deity.)

You can see the great views we had from our rooftop vantage point:



The bands sounded great, the weather was perfect, and during an encore of "Hey Jude" someone nearby started lighting a bunch of aerial fireworks, which I feel added a certain something. This was little Lord Voldemort's first concert and he did just fine.



Went up to Logan the next day and took the baby to the Cache Valley Cruise-in. He was impressed at first, but after a little while he started acting like a teenager, all "I'm way too cool for this and it's sooo boring." The part where we were melting from the heat may have contributed.

One of the things about my life that has changed since marrying GH is that I am now one who buys Big-@$$ Boxes of fireworks in July. I don't know how this happened, but there it is. We took our BAB over to Grammy's once it was dark and had a little family gathering devoted to pyrotechnics. Has anyone else noticed that there's a particular chuckle that males do whilst lighting fireworks? Because there totally is. Didn't matter which guys were the designated lighters, the chuckles were basically the same.

Monday we got up early and drove to Lewiston for its parade (a GH family tradition). The family felt that it wasn't as good as it has been in previous years, but I thought it was fine. At least I thought it was fine once I found a gas station and could get some Hostess Donettes to appease the angry vengeful gods that dwell in my stomach and make me hate everyone and everything.

LV seemed to enjoy it.




Sorry, I have to say it. Isn't he the cutest thing you ever saw?

Later that day there was a big family party to celebrate Grammy's birthday. We had enough fried chicken to feed about 27 families, beans, "salads" (mostly Jello or potato, 1 with lettuce), fruit, veggies, chips, dips, rolls, pies, sheet cake, and an amazing banana cream pudding.



We drove home that night and almost wrecked because we were both trying to see the fireworks that were everywhere. It was amazing, and when we got home there were still plenty to see all around our house.

Any highlights you care to share?

Bridal Veil Falls and me being an old fart

Recently we had some of the first sunny weather since I do not remember when, so I made the executive decision that we would go experience some outdoors. We drove to Provo Canyon to see Bridal Veil falls and met much of the Utah Valley population there. I dipped my big toe in the water at the bottom of the falls and it promptly turned white and fell off. So don't ask me what kind of bionic toddlers they've got here who were splashing around like it was nothing.

Two good-lookin' guys.

The Provo River, looking very rapids-y.

Bridal Veil falls. Told you they're obsessed with marriage here!

Just the cutest baby ever, that's all.

When it started to look like rain, we went to the very cool Blickenstaff's toy store and looked around. They have a phone booth filled with imported British candy and I got myself a Cadbury Whole Nut bar. (The REAL kind of Cadbury, mind you, not the Hershey-created imposter. I shake my fist at you and your ways, Hershey.)

We also grabbed a Clark Bar and an O Henry bar, because we'd never tried either. My verdict? Enh. The Clark Bar was a lot like a Butterfinger. Neither were as good as a Dairy Milk. Because the bathroom at The Shops at Riverwoods didn't have any kind of changing facilities, (really, The Shops at Riverwoods?) I changed the Tiny Dark Lord's diaper on the grass in the middle of the pedestrian area. Grass on his nekkid bum was a new experience for him, but he bore it nobly. It wasn't very crowded so I don't think anyone even noticed what I was doing. Which is too bad, because I was all prepared in case anyone decided to have a go at me.

I had a Groupon for Sammy's Cafe in Provo, so we went there for dinner and sat outside. Now . . . this is the part where I betray myself. I realize this place is cool. It's this little hip hole-in-the-wall spot just off Center Street. They play the loud music and have the cool art and sponsor bands and have Polaroids covering the walls and name their burgers after local personalities and the people who work there have feathers in their hairs. I get it.

Only . . . it was really dirty. Does it have to be dirty to be cool? There were no other customers when we went showed up, and yet the counters and tables had not been wiped down. The floor didn't appear to have been mopped in days, if not longer. GH saw an employee lick their hand after giving a customer a melty shake. (And yes, I'm going to assume this person washed said hand before doing anything else, but dang. . . )

The people who worked there were very friendly, but it took a while to get all of our food ready--it seemed like the cook could only work on one thing at a time. So first we got our fries, and then a few minutes later we got GH's burger, and then a few minutes after that I got mine. And the food? I really wasn't that impressed. It could be that we didn't order the best things (we both just did the "Make Your Own" burgers). But our burgers were tough, and when GH realized that he was eating bread & butter pickles instead of dill this look of bewildered hurt came into his eyes. The fries were good, and the pie shake (we got the Mint Oreo Pie) was tasty but nothing to write home about. I think the ones at JCW's are much better. (Note: the ones at JCW's are also huge. Get a small and share it. I'm not kidding.)

So yeah. Maybe people go more for the atmosphere than for the food. Or maybe they know what food to order. Or maybe they just love hearing Chris Brown at higher-than-healthy volume levels. Or they like to boost their immune system by sitting in other people's crumbs. As for me, I think I'll just find some kind of old-person cafeteria and start going there for dinner around 3:30 pm, thank you.

She & Him & Him but not so much me

Last Thursday GH and I went to Pioneer Park in downtown Salt Lake with my brother coolboy and his wife A (just realized I don't know if she wants me using her real name here so I'd better not). We were there for the final show of the free Twilight Concert Series, even She & Him, starring GH's girlfriend Zooey Deschanel and some other guy.

Note: we tried to go to the first night of this series back at the beginning of summer when somebody called Modest Mouse performed, but we had to leave because we were all having Food Inc. flashbacks of all the squealing pigs crammed into the slaughterhouse just before the lights went dark and they all died in some terrible way. I wasn't waiting around for that to happen to me. Seriously, they wrote newspaper articles about how insane it was.)

This time it was much less crowded, which was great. We sat on the grass before and during the opening act, during which time I experienced Zen whilst consuming a calamari taco from the Chow Truck and then a Nutella-banana crepe from the good people of Flippin' Good Crepes. Both were excellent. I wanted another taco. And maybe one of those goat cheese crepes.

So far, so good. My problems began during the 45 minutes between the opening act and the main event. By this time the crowd standing in front of the stage had grown so that it reached us. We went ahead and stood up too. But I think maybe a hot pregnant woman who has no more crepes to eat can only stand for so long pressed up against other bodies. I wouldn't let GH touch me because that added heat. He, towering over my head, could feel a breeze, but I couldn't. People were smoking, and the smell was bothering me. Some group behind me positioned a friend of theirs so that he was standing pretty much on top of me, so I had to turn around and kindly inform him that his friends were wrong and he needed to move. The music they were playing through the speakers was really, really weird and unpleasant. (I'm not alone in this assessment, GH agreed with me.)

So as the time stretched on, I started to wonder: "How is this fun for people? And really, how exactly is this any different from standing in line at the DMV? Or perhaps the merchandise returns line at Wal-Mart? We're all just standing here and many of us are socially and/or hygenically offensive. Nothing is happening and there's nothing to do but stand and wait."

Only then I found out how it's different. A plastic beer cup came flying from up front and landed on my foot. GH and I looked down at the cup, and then at each other.

Silence.

Squinted eyes from me.

GH: "Um, at least it was empty, right?"

Me, through gritted teeth: "It wasn't all the way empty."

After eight million years, the band came out and got started. Zooey's hair was very pretty, and made me wish I were a brunette with long hair and bangs just like hers. In honor of her visit to Utah, she was wearing some kind of polygamist dress. Well played, Deschanel.

Of course, once the main event began, more people tried to make their way into the crowd and up to the front. We got more and more packed in. I became more and more cranky as the available oxygen levels depleted. After maybe 10 minutes (but probably more like 5) I was done. I kissed GH and fought my way out of there.

The fresh air was like crack cocaine. Too late, I realized that I hadn't brought GH's wallet out with me, so I had no cash to spend recklessly at the food stalls I had not yet patronized. So instead I called my mom and chatted with her for a little while. Then I listened to the rest of the concert. I was outside of the main body but could still see and hear just fine. So that was nice.

When I met up with GH and C & A immediately afterwards, I found out that they'd been just great without me. As soon as I left they made their way closer to the stage and fully enjoyed themselves, no longer hindered by the about-to-snap cranky lady. I understand that the crowds weren't too much of a problem, as my sweet s-in-law body-checked the people who got into her space.

Later, I told GH that I just don't think I'm ever really going to be the concert-enjoying helpmeet he was hoping for. And that I'm sorry and I hope this doesn't ruin our marriage. He said that's okay. Apparently I have other qualities, like knowing what the Flux Capacitor is, that more than make up for me not liking concerts.

Whew.

My camera and the computer are fighting, so I don't have any Cedar City pics to put up yet. But here's the brief trip recap (eighty-seven years later).

We got to Cedar City and checked in--we stayed at The Anniversary House, just a block or so away from the festival. The owner, Nan, was incredibly nice and even fixed us up a special tray with sparkling cider, champagne flutes, and chocolate-dipped strawberries as a "Happy Anniversary" surprise. She also had chocolate cake and goodies out in the dining room at all times along with a fridge full of bottled water and sodas.

The mistake we made was in scheduling an evening play during our one-night stay. So we didn't really get to appreciate the room, or the treats that were sitting out, or the DVDs you could borrow. Instead we staggered in around 11:30pm, were too full from dinner and the summerberry tart at intermission (mmmmm . . . tarts . . . ) to give the chocolate cake more than a glance, went to the room and crashed because we knew we had to be up for breakfast at 8:30am. Poor planning on our (read: my) part.

The play was great, though. We saw Much Ado about Nothing in the outdoor Shakespearean-style theatre. But first we watched The Greenshow. It was Irish Night, apparently. (Unofficial title: Where two guys will do cheesy comedy in quasi-Irish accents until 5 minutes in when they forget to do the accents anymore.) Scanning the crowd, GH spotted a group of attractive, 20-something Mormon-looking girls.

GH: "Hey, that's you and your friends, isn't it?"

Me: "Yep, pretty much."

GH, still looking around: "Aaaand there's another group. And another one . . . and another one." He was starting to laugh at this point.

Me: "Yeah, it's called being cool and coming to the Shakespeare Festival with your friends. It's what cool girls do."

GH: "Wow, I should have been coming here all these years with my guy friends. Who even knew this was the place to meet all the English major girls?"

So, guys, now you know. Cedar City in the summer is the place to pick up the smart chicks. And the competition shouldn't be too fierce, since we checked out the guys who were there in groups and let's just say that not many of them seemed . . . that interested in the women around them. Just saying.

Anyway. Back to the play.

The production was great. I'd show you a picture of the stage, but apparently it's copyrighted and one of the ushers made me promise to delete the image from my camera. Don't ask me how you copyright grapevines . . . but whatever. I love this play because I love me some Beatrice/Benedick romantical sparring action. I've seen it a couple of times before onstage and I've seen the Kenneth Branagh film where they somehow thought Keanu Reeves could play a villian (bless his heart, you need facial expressions to be villianous, sweetie . . . ). GH had never seen this play before, but he really enjoyed it after the few minutes it takes to get your "translate from Shakespeare" gears moving.

I must say that David Ivers is sort of replacing Brian Vaughn as my Shakespeare Festival boyfriend. Between his role as Benedick in this production and the 100+ characters he played in The 39 Steps the next day, he was kind of a rock star. Everyone else was good too and I got a tart during intermission. 'Nuff said.

Then came the staggering back to the b&b and the passing out. Breakfast the next morning was quiche, sausage, melon, juice, and coffee/tea/hot chocolate. I enjoyed the quiche and melon but skipped the sausage because it did not appeal, as it resembled a greasy pre-packaged hockey puck. I very thoughtfully made hot chocolate for both GH and myself, but didn't realize that the hot water kettle wasn't turned on until GH took a sip of his. Woops.

There was a pregnant woman and her mother at our table for breakfast, so as soon as her mom and GH left the table (one to go put on makeup and the other to get a few more minutes of sleep) she and I immediately began talking the pregnant talk (specifically, What Is Even Going On With Our Boobs). It's amazing how the commonality of being pregnant means that you're suddenly chatting gaily away about nipples with someone whose name you don't even know.

After checking out, GH and I drove up to Cedar Breaks to see the lookout. Then after way too much ice cream at Maggie Moos it was time for The 39 Steps. It was funny, but I swear it wasn't as funny as some people thought it was. The play opens with Brian Vaughn sitting in a chair, doing a mildly amusing opening monologue about how bored he is with life. And so help me, there were people shrieking with laughter at pretty much every single line. I have no idea. Were they just so happy to be out of their homes? I felt like I was caught in one of those 1970s British sitcoms they show late at night on PBS where Judi Dench does something completely normal like blinking and they blare the laugh track up to 11 and you're just imagining all these sad supposed British people falling on the floor in the studio audience, gasping for breath. And you wonder what must be so very wrong with their lives.

That said, the play was very funny and cleverly done. There were only 4 actors. Brian Vaughn played the lead, a 1930s British man named Richard Hanney who is plunged into a world of intrigue after a mystery woman shows up, mentions important government secrets about to be stolen out of the country, and is then murdered in his apartment. Three other actors (Carol Linnea Johnson, Aaron Galligan-Stierle, and David Ivers, my boyfriend) play all the other parts. At one point David Ivers played a loud, swooping, over-the-top landlady and did his absolute best to make his costars break character. He got Johnson--she had to turn her face away from the audience to try to compose herself. But he couldn't get Brian Vaughn, even when he brushed his large false bosom across Vaughn's arm flirtatiously. Because that is called professional, madame. A lot of the laughs came from the way they handled the set, which was very sparse and deliberately low-budget-looking. Characters in wheeled chairs were pushed onstage by unseen hands, deliberate set-changing goofs were included, that sort of thing. There were also lots of Hitchcock references and in-jokes, which were fun to spot. And there was one cell phone ring. Of course.

After the play it was time to head home. Our trip was over too quickly, I think. In a perfect world we would have stayed another night and watched Pride & Prejudice, which also got a lot of good buzz. But it was still lovely, and I believe GH had a good enough time that I could probably convince him to go back with me.

Taylorsville Dayzz

Have discovered a new tradition, friends. And I'm almost reluctant to share it here because I don't want everyone to show up and take all the parking next time. But last weekend GH and I checked out a local summer offering. Lots of Utah towns have annual festivals (many revolve around agriculture in some way, such as Brigham City's Peach Days and Pleasant Grove's Strawberry Days). The festival in Taylorsville, UT is known as Taylorsville Dayzz. (And, yes, the "zz" concerned me initially, but it turned out to have been a needless concern. The "zz" is, in fact, how you know it's good.)

The festival lasted for four whole days, but we just went on Saturday evening. Here were a few of the things we experienced:

Free, on-site parking with ushers to direct you to empty spots and tell you which direction to park. Niiiiiiice.

Decent-looking carnival rides, which we did not take advantage of, and many food booths, which we did. Five bucks got me a big ol' funnel cake with powdered sugar, chocolate syrup, whipped cream, slivered almonds, and peanut butter chips on top. AW. YEAH.

Petting zoo complete with sweetest tiny baby goat ever seen in life. I stood by the fence and whimpered, begging GH to let me take it home with me. He said we could take home the pig instead. "But I don't want the pig, I want the precious baby goat *squeak whimper whine squeak burble*" I don't remember much after that; I might have blacked out.

Porta-potties called "Honey Pots." That is a gross name. What was not gross was that they had anti-bacterial gel dispensers inside each one, so that germophobe GH would continue to hold my hand and be near me after I used said pot in my desperate need to empty the whole 1.5 ounces of urine that were causing my bladder to darn near explode. (Thank you for that, small one.)

Beatles Tribute Band, backed up by the Taylorsville Symphony Orchestra. There was a huge crowd there for the concert, all sacked out on blankets and chairs. We sat behind the Family That GH Wants to Be in Twenty Years. Not only did they compliment him on his Captain Hammer Tshirt, but they and their teenaged kids were huge Beatles fans who sang along to all the songs. Was glad to have another friend with us so that she and I could nicely make fun of GH's Beatles fervor. (Also she showed me where the fist-pumps belong during Neil Diamond's "America," which leads us to . . . )

Thirty-minute long fireworks show, complete with music. We know how long it lasted because we timed the thing--which we will be doing forever now after the 8-minute travesty known as the crap fireworks of last year's Stadium of Fire in Provo (alternate name: Here's Hoping Carrie Underwood Will Be Enough to Distract You From How Much Our Fireworks Might Suck.) The Taylorsville fireworks show, though, was really impressive--they had a few things that I'd never seen before. And the music was great, too. They'd alternate between patriotic songs and then big crowd-pleasers like "Mamma Mia," "America," and "YMCA." One mistake I noticed was that over the course of the show they played the marches for the Air Force, the Navy, the Marines, and . . . the Marines again. Not quite sure what happened there.

And? AND? Best part ever, when the fireworks were over we stood up, gathered our blankets, walked briskly to the car, started it up, and were out of that parking lot and out of town in about 4 minutes. It was the cherry on the sundae, I tell you.

So. Anybody out there have any local festival recommendations, or reason why your town's ------ Days is the best?

With that discussion question thrown out there, I'll just go ahead and wish everybody a Happy 4th of July weekend, with hopes that your foods will be plentiful and tasty and your fireworks will not suck.

Bear Lake report

Last week GH and I headed north and spent a few days in Bear Lake, UT with his family. His three sisters and their husbands were all there too, along with the 3.5 grandchildren. (Note: Not that it's a competition or anything, but my kid was the quietest.)

Here are a few trip highlights:

When I was told that we would be "staying in a friend's cabin," I was mentally prepared for, you know, a cabin. The kind with log walls, dead flies in the windowsills, much plaid and other homey furnishings, and perhaps some end tables made from stumps carved in the shape of bears. This thing turned out to be a McMansion up in the hills overlooking the lake. The only nod to "cabin" was the part where the wood paneling around the doorways (like, for instance, the one leading into the master bathroom with its sunken jetted tub) looked slightly rustic. This place was plush, I tell you, with loads of room for everybody.

All the power went out in the valley around 11pm our first night there. By the light of cell phones and iPods we managed to locate the candles and flashlights, which, thank the merciful heavens above, actually existed. Also I turned on the gas fireplace, which worked, and which made me look like a blackout genius. Made me realize that I need to get on the ball with regards to my own apartment's candles/flashlights/matches stash or we could have some unpleasant times ahead.

Sister-in-law K & husband J were visiting from Pittsburgh with their 3-month-old baby. He weighs about 87 pounds and is all cheeks and dimples and baby chuckles. Adorable. I'm pretty sure that baby sweater I knitted for him back on the Hawaii plane could have only fit while he was still in utero. (Note to self: Take possibility of super-advanced Hulk babies into consideration when planning knitted gifts.)

We had access to the swimming pools down near the lake, which was a good thing because the water in Bear Lake was cold enough to make your toes retract into your body and it possibly had ice chunks floating on the surface. Not that I found this out for myself, I just observed other people hobbling rapidly back up from the water's edge, all blue and toe-less. Here's hoping it will warm up a bit in the next month before my side of the family makes the trek up there for our own get-together.

Almost had heart failure at the pool watching a fearless kamikaze red-headed toddler launching himself into the water regardless of whether someone was actually there to catch him. I'm thinking his parents may want to look into a flotation device. I saved his life at one point, and credit such catlike reflexes to my Library Job Which Shouldn't Perhaps Be All About Saving Toddlers From Certain Death and Yet Which Still Very Much Is.

Didn't get sunburned at all! Yay for repeatedly slathering self with SPF Eleventy-Thousand until resembling a flaky ghost! Sure I got some weird "Are they remaking Powder?" looks, but who's laughing now!!!! Also? I love you, Neutrogena Ultra-Sheer Dry Touch Sunblock. And I love Costco (shocker) for selling you in twin packs for cheap.

There was much good food, including Garden City's famed raspberry milkshakes from LaBeau's. Each couple was responsible for a meal and people brought their A-games with things like homemade Cafe Rio salads, Swedish pancakes, and grilled steaks and such. Unfortunately they also invited some white trash relations who showed up with Stoffer's lasagna, frozen garlic bread, and bagged salad. (Me, me, me . . . )

During the course of a "how well do you know your spouse" board game, GH let it slip that I was not necessarily favor of circumcision if our child should be a male child. I think he did this on purpose to drum up support for his own side of the argument, which his b-in-laws were, of course, happy to provide. Lucky for us all, GH's mom shut the friendly discussion down before it could get out of hand. And now the guys can feel free to give GH pitying glances and headshakes like, "Hey dude. You married her."

Aw yeah he did.

Girl's Relaxation Day, Part Deux

Much, much too long ago (nearly two years) my sisters and I had a Girl's Relaxation Day in Park City, where we retreated from our lives and painted our toenails and stuffed ourselves with brie, which we could technically have done in our own places of residence but felt (rightly) that it would be better to do it somewhere else.

This fall we decided that it was time for another much-needed Girl's Relaxation Day, and since Park City had treated us so well last time we made that our destination. The nice thing about Park City, I think, is that even though it's not that far away it still feels like a different sort of place. This is probably because they have coffee there.

Spitfire booked an amazing spot for us to stay and treated me and Jen to an evening of luxury. For, lo, she is awesome. We were at the Westgate Resort, which was just beautiful and perfect and wonderful.

Resort highlights included:

A full kitchen and living room.

A hot tub in the bedroom. (Aw, yeah. Except, you know, not so much, since I was there with my sisters. No Victoria Secret bubble bath parties here, sorry.)

A huge stone shower with both a regular shower head and a waterfall shower head (the kind that comes down from the ceiling.) The shower also has a bench built in and functions as a sauna. (So, um, all other showers can kind of eat it now.)

An outdoor heated pool (lovely) and two outdoor hot tubs. We chose the one that came with the Speedo-wearing European man. As you do.

In true Girl's Relaxation Night style, there was toenail painting and brie-eating and pumpkin-pie-eating and TV-watching. No no-bake cookies this time, probably because my sisters remember almost being gassed to death last year. There was also much sighing at the catalog of spa services offered downstairs, which sighs then turned to chokes and seizures upon the reading of the prices. We watched the TV channel advertising the spa for a little bit but then had to turn it off because it was just too tantalizing (ahhh, spa porn). Our new plan is that one day when we're all quite rich we are going to book ourselves into a spa for a weekend. It's gonna be great. We then piled into the king-sized bed, which fit all three of us easily, and slept soundly. That is until my cell phone alarm went off at 7:00am, please do not ask me why. It seems that I am alarm-challenged.

For breakfast Jen made crepes. I would have helped, but I was Experiencing the Shower. She did Julia Child's crepe recipe with a savory chicken-bacon-mushroom-leek-pure-crystallized-crack-cocaine filling. And for calcium we added slabs of warm brie. Women need calcium, you know. My bones start to deteriorate this year--gotta stave that off. There were also nutella crepes with fresh raspberries, real whipped cream, and sauteed apples. Because we know how to party.

Once we got cleaned up and I'd done everyone's eyebrows and eye makeup (remember, girlie weekend) we hit the outlet stores. And yes, I'm sure there are some friends out there right now thinking, "Wait. YOU were the one doing people's eye makeup? Uh . . . " But what they do not know is that I've totally figured out how to do one really nice-looking smoky grey-blue eyeshadow thing. So that's what we all got. And we looked hot, I tell you.

Jenny took in the biggest shopping haul as she was on a mission to buy new church-going clothes. I got two nice tops and mentally purchased an entirely new wardrobe for GH at Banana Republic. As a heterosexual male, he would probably object to most of my choices. One day, though. One day.

So yeah. We've decided this needs to be an annual thing. And maybe we should spend two nights instead of one. And we need to check the closets more carefully when we leave because if we don't then the housekeeping staff will steal the black J.Crew shirt Jenny accidentally left hanging in the closet and then the hotel will just pretend like we maybe imagined the black shirt and that possibly Jenny did not actually wear it to the hotel but just turned up to check in wearing nothing but a bra. (I'm kind of glad now that I forgot to leave a tip for those stealers. Except . . . maybe that's why we're in this situation now. Huh.)