8.12.2005

Welcome to England, where we really REALLY don't want you to get pregnant

This England thing just gets better and better!

A few months ago, my doctor put me on Yasmin birth control. (I promise, I'll keep the TMI factor low.) She says it's for purely medical reasons, but she's probably covering her bases in case I turn out to be some closet nymphomaniac. I'm not, by the way. I don't think. I mean, who's to decide what automatically constitutes nymphomania, huh?

(I just realized that the above paragraph will probably bring some interesting visitors to this site, since last week someone got here by doing an MSN search for "Kiera Knightley topless." Hoo boy.)

Anyway, love Yasmin. She/it is my new best friend, as is the Canadian pharmacy that let me order the pills online for less than the Wal-Mart pharmacy would have charged me (about $35 a month). Along with this newfound love, I developed a fear that the National Health Service of the United Kingdom might not have Yasmin, or they might tell me I don't get to have any, or they might give me some awful thing instead that causes me to gain 40 pounds and start hallucinating. And then if I complain they might just spout a lot of nonsense about the British Way and stiff upper lips and and bloody Americans with their Culture of Entitlement.

It was worrisome, friends.

So I started researching the NHS and trying to figure it all out. Turns out that in the UK people pay about £6.50 for all prescription medications. I figured if they have Yasmin there and I can get it and pay that much for it, it would make my life. And then I wouldn't need to pay $400 to cart a year's supply over there with me.

But GUESS what I found out today! They do have Yasmin, and it's absolutely free. All the contraceptives are. All of them.

Free free free free fee.

And they'll mail it to your house for you--also free. This is one country who seems to care very very much about its citizens taking their birth control pills. I mean, I'm not much concerned about unplanned pregnancy myself, but England is concerned for me. And I think that's just great. Maybe some other countries should start looking into that, America.

And now I have $400 to spend on chocolate and shoes! Long live the Queen!

9 comments:

Coop said... [reply]

Although after the first paragraph I wasn't sure if I should be reading this post, I think I am better for it. I learned something about England today--they have a intense fear of babies. I've heard of this before. I understand, though; some of those kids, when they first come out, look very little like humans.

But a government trying to stop new Brits from being born is... wait a minute... that might not be a bad idea. Just kidding, I love Brits!

...Now Canucks, they're a different story.

Red said... [reply]

Yeah, Coop and I have had an inborn mistrust of Canucks for as long as I can remember. They definitely are a DIFFERENT story.

As far as that birth control... can we order some, free, for my fiance? :)

Savvymom said... [reply]

Wow. DON't forget to go get my crystal. Heather T wants you to mail her some, too. And if you really want that china thats rightfully mine, you could find it for me over in Europe while you're there. That'd save you some tears...

Nemesis said... [reply]

Red, I'll try to smuggle her some! My research hasn't yet extended into cheating the NHS to get extra free medication to sell in the US, but it's just a matter of time before it does!

daltongirl said... [reply]

Do you think there's any way we could convince them that antidepressants are a form of birth control? 'Cause if we can, I'm taking my whole dang family over there.

FoxyJ said... [reply]

When I was on my mission in Spain I had a companion who had to take birth control for female issues. I was shocked when she did't need a prescription and could just walk into the pharmacy and ask for some because they were sold OTC. Maybe that's why the birth rate in Europe is so low...

CoolBoyH said... [reply]

DUDE!(ttes)
you totally CAN get to your blog from that, it's the 8th one down! I know you're going to be really mad at me now, for searching porn and all. But I didn't even read the thingys, just looked for "Voice of Reason". And it was there! Sa-WEET!

Also, The thing about British meds isn't that you gain weight, it's that you lose it. You also get a bit taller and lankier. However, the real turn-on is when your teeth curve around and turn brown, your nose will also extend and your ahir will become feathery so that you look like human-bird combination (often called a "Birdman") that speaks English very properly but can't play sports for garbage.

Nemesis said... [reply]

Well, I already can't play sports for garbage (also I wouldn't really see garbage as much of an inducement). So I'm halfwy there!

ambrosia ananas said... [reply]

Wow. Reason #359 why England is the coolest thing EVER.

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