2.02.2006

Could I BE more popular?

So last week I got two invitations to things, which probably means that I've been accepted into the Upper Crust of British society.

Invitation #1 was a letter from the NHS, inviting me to make an appointment with my doctor for a cervical smear test. I was kind of taken aback by this, and pictured in my head some NHS office worker looking at a computer and going, "Hmm. You know whose cervix we haven't seen yet . . ." But then I came to understand that they just routinely go through the database and send screening invites out to all women between 25 and 64 years of age. And that's kind of nice to know that they care. I suppose I should go, since the embarrassment of the "Are you aware of your breasts?" incident has worn off and I could probably use some new material. Trick is, I don't actually want to accept their kind invitation right now. So, you know, maybe I'll just pretend like I never got it. Shhhhhh!

Invitation #2 was a third-tiered once-removed invite to a wedding. My landlady got a second-tiered invite because hers did come with a paper invitation, even if the mother of the bride did hand it to her and say, "Please ignore the date on the RSVP card, and never mind about the registry card--they just want money." I guess the bride's family has counted up all the responses and are now trying to fill empty seats. If it were me I wouldn't bother, but would instead think, "Hah! That's lessuh y'all I have to feed!"

My invite is third-tiered because it did not include a paper invitation (WR's sister, who is a bridesmaid, passed along the verbal invite). But really, I've only spoken to the bride (who is very sweet, as is the groom) a few times, so I wasn't expecting to be invited at all. It was nice of her to think of me. Also the reception is a sit-down lunch, so like I'm skipping that!

I'm actually excited to attend an English wedding. It's an LDS couple from church, but the rules are a bit different in the UK than they are in the USA. Back home, temple weddings are legally recognized, so LDS couples just go straight there and then have their reception later that night. Most invitations are to the reception rather than to the temple ceremony, which is kept small. But in the UK, a marriage ceremony has to take place in a public building (and the temple isn't open to the public like the chapels are) because someone might need to rush in and declare that the groom is actually already married and keeps his insane first wife locked up in the attic at Thornfield! So most LDS couples get married civilly by the bishop in the chapel in the late morning (which is what they invite people to), have the reception immediately after in the cultural hall/gym, and then travel the three hours to either London or Preston with family & close friends to have the marriage solemnized in the temple. Also the big scandal about this wedding is that two different couples asked for the chapel on the same day and the sweet bishop said yes to both of them and didn't realize what he'd done until he (and everyone else) got two invitations in the mail for the same day. Woops.

So anyway. I'm popular and that's that. And tomorrow I will be giving you the second half of this post, which is the part that will get all the right-thinking people up in arms.

ps. Do we think I have to wear a hat to the wedding? I have no idea. In the movies and the royal weddings they wear lots of hats. But like I would even know where to get one of those things. I'm just gonna go ahead and say no to the hats, just like I'm saying no to the cervical smear. Shhhhhh!

14 comments:

amyjane said... [reply]

Oooh. I'm excited to get all up in arms over a burning issue. It's been too long. NIce teaser.

Also, I went to IKEA this weekend and thought of you. It is your store now, at least in my head.

banana said... [reply]

I agree with you on the smear thing! I've yet to take up my many invites!!!!
And as for the hat - no. Usually only the mothers of bride and groom do that. People don't really go to town with their outfits either - just normal Sunday clothes. (Of course if you want an excuse to buy something new - I never said a word!)

abby said... [reply]

I don't know if you wear hats at an LDS British wedding or not, but I do recall them being sold at Accessorize in London. I love hats myself and wish big picture hats were more socially acceptable in the U.S.

Stupidramblings said... [reply]

It's good to know the NHS is contacting you. I didn't know the Brits had a National Honor Society--I guess your grades are better than you let on originally...

redlaw said... [reply]

Um, why does the National Honor Society worry about your cervix? That's what bothers me....

Kelly said... [reply]

Hey, wait. *I* was going to have a serious issue-related post for tomorrow! But I didn't think to advertize. Hmph!

Nemesis said... [reply]

Oooh, Amyjane, you'll like this one. I promise you will. I ran it past Savvymom and she started to hyperventilate. And I'm so glad you thought of me at IKEA! Sniff, I love that place.

Whew, thanks Banana! I'll just put back those ostrich feathers I was going to stick in my hair. ;-)

Abby, I haven't worn a hat to church since Easter 1987, and now, thinking back on it, I probably shouldn't have!

SR and Redlaw--Obviously they want my DNA now to study and stuff, since I'm so brilliant . . .

Sorry, Kell. Maybe we should start a Battle of the Blogs or something--everyone could on one day post something HUGE to see who gets the most comments. Oh yeah. The ideas are already starting to flow . . .

JB said... [reply]

Hi again. From friends I know in England, specifically one who was going to get married in England (but didn't), you are supposed to wear a hat. Doesn't seem "formal" to me, but that was the excuse she gave. *shrug* I hope you have a good time if you do go!

Th. said... [reply]

.

Thanks for the warning. I haven't cleaned my fearsome American he-man guns in a while.

I'll do that tonight.

daltongirl said... [reply]

Um, this was a really good story, but could you please do a different one tomorrow? This one didn't bring up any good ideas for stories on my own blog. I guess I'm just not popular enough. Unless you count the part where everyone in my ward hates me. At least they all know my name. And that they should spit violently every time they hear it. Does that count as a type of popularity?

Nemesis said... [reply]

Jessica, I can't believe I didn't know until yesterday that you got married! Please let me give you 6 weeks' worth of congratulations now!!!

You're a good man, .th. Be sure to get out any Charlton Heston/NRA items you may have as well.

Sorry, Daltongirl. Maybe the next one will be more helpful.

Savvymom said... [reply]

Nem, when you find out you have cervical cancer that could've been treated years earlier but now they just have to put you to sleep, you're going to wish you went in.

CBH said... [reply]

THORNFEILD!!
I was thinking about the book Jane Eyre today. I recall the only time I didn't almost fall asleep while read was the chapter where Rochester proposes in the rain. I suppose the prospect of Jane getting some rain in some clean British rain was able to sustain my attention.

Julie said... [reply]

There is a link between cervical cancer and sex, particularly with several partners, so my guess is you are pretty safe. I guess you could discuss this with someone who knows about these things, but the trouble is that I am not sure anyone believes any woman under 30 (well probably even 20) might not be active in that area.

Hats are of course very important, I have worn some very nice hats to weddings, but not sure they are compulsory. Having said that a picture of you in a hat would be fun!

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