Crazy new ideas in animal husbandry

Today I saw this headline in Yahoo News.

Farmers use bull semen to inseminate cows.

How is this news? I mean, don't bulls seem like the natural choice? If the word "bull" was taken out and replaced with "zebra" or "panther," then that would be something. That, friends, would be a headline.

You can read the story here, if you want. I already know how it works, on account of Amyjane's cattle-rancher Dad told me years ago. Amyjane and I were up visiting her family, whom I love, and something he'd said about artificially inseminating the cows got me thinking. So I asked him how the farmers actually obtain the "stuff" from the bulls in order to freeze and sell it. I asked at the dinner table, because I'm couth like that. He matter-of-factly answered that they use electrical stimulation, mostly. I accepted the answer and went back to my food.

Only then her rancher-in-training brother piped up loudly that sometimes they bring out this huge plastic thing shaped like the back end of a cow and that's when my dinner started not looking so good to me anymore.

The End


CoolMom said... [reply]

After your readers digest this, you should get lots of interesting responses. Consider me educated. Considering her upbringing, maybe that's why Amy is so matter-of-fact and not the most timid and shy of young women.

The McCulloch Family said... [reply]

Whatever. Amy is not a sicko and Nemesis is. She would NEVER say something like that.

Nemesis said... [reply]

Never say something like what, Jen? Which part did you have a problem with? And anyway, I asked Amy first and she say she didn't know and I should ask her dad. So there.

Rachel said... [reply]

LOLOLOL I'm dying over the idea of what amounts to a bovine blowup doll! Who knew?!

Kristeee said... [reply]

I, too have heard the stories. My dad was in the animal science program at BYU and had to participate in the artificial insemination, where both arms are . . . well, in use. He always said that when the tail moved, it was time to be done. Of course, such tales were usually told at the dinner table, so my brothers and I have impeccable table manners.

I bet the engineers who designed said bovine blowup doll had themselves a good laugh several times during its (her?) creation. That would make for interesting work.

CoolMom said... [reply]

All I said was that Amy is a matter-of-fact and not a shy young woman. I think Amy would agree. I apologize if I offended anyone. It was not my intention.

The McCulloch Family said... [reply]

:) I offended Nemesis, mom. She wanted to know what was so sick about her post and I told her I was speaking more in general terms and then she was ok. So glad to know you're ok with being sick overall as opposed to just this one instance Nem.

Anonymous said... [reply]

I ought to wash your mind out with soap young lady.

CoolMom said... [reply]

I think you are all being too harsh on Nemmy, she's under a lot of stress.

amyjane said... [reply]

What the heck, coolmom? I beg your pardon, but you should know that I learned all my not shy and timidity from Nemesis. She and I were possibly one another's downfall. I love you all anyway, though. It's OK, really. Very little offends me.

Suzie1 said... [reply]

I wonder where one goes to procure such an apparatus? And I wonder if the bulls have a preference?

daltongirl said... [reply]

A friend suggested I get an inflatable person to sit next to me so I could drive in the carpool lane, but we decided that it might be used elsewhere, and that's no good. So I decided to just sit in traffic. There's a lesson there for the cows, too, I think.

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