This is proof that I love you

I can't write a real blog post, as I still have my head down in my computer. But good things have happened.

1) I got a blessing on Sunday and immediately felt better and calm and happy, and I still feel those things. Plus, hey, God SAID I'm going to finish this thing. I wouldn't bet against Him.

2) My computer has been behaving for the last few days. I love her for that. She can feel free to burst into flames as soon as this thing is done.

3) Cicada has agreed to proofread my dissertation for me so I've been emailing her chapters as I finish them.

And just after she agreed to do that a few days ago, we had this IM conversation, wherein it becomes apparent that Cicada is a fonts junkie and that I didn't learn as much in AP US History as I thought I did.

Nemesis: Ugh. Some German guy just published his thesis on my topic and it's online. I'm doing my best not to go look at it because I think that would just freak me out. Only I'm sure it's better than mine!

Cicada: No. It's not possible. YOURS is going to be the BEST.

Nemesis: I just want to pass. Luckily his is about different stuff from mine. Kind of. Not that I'm looking at it.

Cicada: No. Of course you're not looking at it. But seriously---DON'T look at it.

Nemesis: I'm not, I shut it.

Cicada: Because that will seriously make yours more difficult to write.

Nemesis: I just looked at his bibliography, and skimmed the bit he wrote about the treaty. Done. It's gone.

Cicada: Okay. Now, you're worth it, you're good, and you're beautiful. Get back to work and you'll do GREAT.

Nemesis: It was the acknowledgements page that threw me. Turns out he's friends with all the A-listers. Only I've interviewed loads of them, and that's good too! So take that, Kraut.

Cicada: haha. Never forget that we beat them back in the 40s.

Nemesis: And we'll do it again. ok. Thanks. I feel better.

Nemesis: So which do you think looks smarter, Times New Roman or Arial?

Cicada: Ack! For WHAT?

Nemesis: For the dissertation. Those are my two choices--they do practically everything in Arial over here. It really took me aback when I first saw it.

Cicada: Are you SERIOUS? They only give you those two choices? Times is easier to read in large quantities, so I'd go for Times.

Nemesis: Yeah, cuz serif. But still. ARIAL, people.

Cicada: SERIOUSLY. You just don't PUBLISH in a sans serif like that!

Nemesis: Oh. They do. And it looks like a 7th grader wrote it.

Cicada: Well, just remember that we beat them back in the 1700s.

Nemesis: AND 1800s.

Cicada: Well, technically, they burned down the White House in the 1800s, you know.

Nemesis: Yeah, just before we BEAT them.

Cicada: And BOTH sides claim they won that one.

Nemesis: Uh, tell that to Andy Jackson and his bales of cotton.

Cicada: No, seriously. In school we're taught that we won that one.

Nemesis: You're joking! Canada as in British Canadians?

Cicada: Well, we were not Canada back then. So we were the British.

Nemesis: Oh yeah, isn't that when we tried to take over Canada? That wasn't the best idea.

Cicada: hahahahaha. It still isn't a GREAT idea.

Nemesis: So maybe it was a draw. We didn't get Canada, but by gum we're still Americans.

Cicada: And at least you know that Times is a better choice than Arial. Dumb Brits.

Nemesis: Seriously. How is mine supposed to beat that German guy's if it's in a crap font?

Cicada: You really couldn't sneak a pretty one past them? Like Bell MT or Garamond or Perpetua?

Nemesis: Let me check. I already have to bind the thing in a MAROON cover. With gold lettering, mind you.

Cicada: Oh wow.

Nemesis: Okay. It just says "Times New Roman or Arial fonts are recommended"

Cicada: Ahhhh, so that's to prevent people from using Comic or something. You can TOTALLY get away with using Bell or Garamond or Perpetua. Those are my three favorites.

Nemesis: Well, I know you to be a woman of impeccable taste. So lemme play around.

Cicada: Rockwell is also very fun and distinctive.

Nemesis: Yeah, only they're not so much about fun and distinctive here. I'm already thinking Bell might be out because of the swoopy 2s.

Cicada: I know. Those are my favorite part. Rockwell is like somewhere between a serif and a sans serif. Garamond and Perpetua don't have any fun swoopies.

Nemesis: Don't have Rockwell, don't have Perpetua. I'm thinking Garamond might be the winner.

Cicada: Garamond is a good one and is also fairly standard.

Nemesis: Sweetie, thank you. Just looking at my words in Garamond makes me feel more sophisticated. I just might pull through.

Cicada: How much more do you have to do? When's your deadline?

Nemesis: I have to write about 7,000 words in the next 5 or 6 days, depending on when the advisor wants it. Then I need to make his changes and turn it in for binding.

Cicada: That's not so bad. You can totally do it!

Nemesis: I've got my caffiene strips and my ibuprofin. Hit it.


Nemesis: I'm back. Lady J says I'm on thin ice with the fonts. She says they do everything in Arial now because some discrimination legislation was passed that said no one can use fonts that might make it difficult for people to read.

Cicada: Uh . . . using Arial makes it more difficult to read than using a serif font. Didn't the legislators research that?

Nemesis: Guess not. They get crazy about Health & Safety and discrimination and all that here, it's pretty mad.

Cicada: I don't understand how font = discrimination. Please explain.

Nemesis: Somehow they got it into their head that funky fonts might make it difficult for people with vision problems to read. So any government or university publication has to be in either Arial or Times New Roman. Or something.

Cicada: I seriously feel like throwing up right now. PLEASE blog about this.

Nemesis: Okay.

Author's note: No offense was intended to the good people of Germany. I'm just a gibbering idiot whose brain is slowly turning to mush. I was born in Germany. I love Germany. Call me!


Cicada said... [reply]

Also, I'm totally not a Germany hater or a Britain hater or a US hater or a Canada hater.

And you may notice that I switch allegiance whenever it's convenient for me. Sometimes I side with the Canucks, sometimes with the Yanks.

Squirrel Boy said... [reply]

Arial or Times New Roman? Ugh. Times New Roman is the better choice, I'd have to say, but I still hate it. Garamond's a classic—Adobe Garamond is an especially nice version of it.

I've said this before, but you have good taste in fonts, Cicada.

amyjane said... [reply]

You nutter. Who knew there was so much font knowledge out there? I jsut pick the one that matches my scrapbook page and move on!

The Divine Miss A said... [reply]

Ack! Part of the fun is deciding what font to make your paper in. I don't think it makes things hard to read. In fact, I usually think it makes them easier to make it through. Hmph.

DanaLee said... [reply]

From the first line of you bashing the Arial font I was thinking, "DUH, Nemesis, think Universal Design.” It is what is recommended because of people with visual impairments. I was so happy to hear Lady J knows her discrimination facts. Seriously, when you come back stateside you can put on some of the simulators we let our parents wear and then read something in Arial and then Times. You will become best friends with Arial font. Ok, maybe not best friends, but definitely less bitter. End nerd rant.

Stupidramblings said... [reply]

Yeah, cuz weren't ou born in Germany or something like that?


AND you can never be President--The most you can hope for is Governor of CA...

The McCulloch Family said... [reply]

Stupid freaking racist cow. If I were related to you I'd be so embarrassed. And if you listened to Shakira and Fergie dance music I'd be EVEN MORE embarrassed. It's a good thing we're not related and you don't like that kind of music...

noelle feather said... [reply]

I'm a fan of Garamond, too. Love.it.

I had a history instructor once tell us we "should use" Courier NEW. I guess there's a difference between Courier and Courier New?

Who knew?

HAHAHAHAHAH, I made a joke and I didn't even mean to....



Nemesis said... [reply]

Okay, I think DanaLee wins the Voice of Reason award for today. If she says Arial is the best font for people with visual impairments then I believe her.

So it looks like I'll be going with Arial. Not that I think anyone with visual impairments will ever read it, but it's the principle of the thing.


Also, Jenny, you're cruising. I will address your remarks in a blog post down the line.

Squirrel Boy said... [reply]

You should probably write it in braille and narrate a thesis-on-tape version just to be safe.

JB said... [reply]

Were you really born in Germany?

The McCulloch Family said... [reply]

Do you mean cruisin for a bruisin?

Desmama said... [reply]

You listen to Shakira?

Me too. (Is that unpopular or something? I feel so out of it.)

blackjazz said... [reply]

Choose Arial!

1. Times New Roman is old-fashioned.
2. Why go out of your way to annoy whoever is marking this?

Personally I prefer Verdana 'cos it's clear like Arial but not quite as narrow. But I do think that Arial is a very clear font.

Kelly said... [reply]

I'm a big Garamond fan. However, Cicada has now opened my eyes to the world of Perpetua. And it's a beautiful world.

If you want to make your dissertation look longer, Arial is always the way to go. Maybe there's just a bunch of crubbish British authors who want their work to look longer and thus more important, so they lobbied for Arial.

The McCulloch Family said... [reply]

Desmama, its not bad to listen to Shakira, but she is more of showtunes, Kenny G, Michael Buble kind of person.

Nemesis said... [reply]

What the crap???

I do NOT listen to Kenny G!!!

Just for that, I'm taking your Prague present and giving it to a homeless person.

The McCulloch Family said... [reply]

Why? Was it Justin Timberlake concert memorabelia?

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